My Overprotective Parents Are Ruining My Social Life-Please Advice
Good afternoon Jzhane,
Please help me post this anonymously. I am Kate (not real name). I am a 25 years old lady presently serving in Lagos. My issue is relationship related in a way but also family related.
For a while now have been trying to move out of my parents house to be a very independent woman but it has been pretty difficult because my parents have refused to grant me my request though saying it’s not an ideal thing for a lady to have her own apartment.
Please note that my parents are Lagos based while am also planning of getting my own apartment here in Lagos cos too. I have tried convincing them but they still remain firm that it’s not going to be possible that the only time am allowed to leave home is only when am married.
The issue is, I don’t see that happening anytime soon though because staying with them doesn’t give me freedom at all, they question my going out and coming in , am not given freedom to visit friends, I can’t stay over , I have no boyfriend or a toaster because am always indoor all through.
I have no social life, nothing at all. Please help me post and advice.
Anonymous
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Well, you need your freedom as much as you desire but your parents wants the best for you always.
Have you considered and weighed the advantage/disadvantage associated with gaining freedom via living apart from your parents???? E.g your health status, finances, security and even your parents plan for you after NYSC e.t.c;
Dear, you can gain freedom via living with them.
Freedom isn’t about sleeping outside your home
Freedom isn’t about partying but of a truth you need these things.
My suggestions are:
1) present your desires to your parents in a polite but assertive manner
2) make your mum a friend who can see reasons why you shouldn’t be treated as a baby and locked up child (omo Inu gate) at the age of 25. She Wud inturn influence her spouse’s decisions.
3) Stand for the right thing always but don’t over do
I pray you get a gainful employment soon after your service; all this desires may be met without your parents having a choice than to let you be whom you wanna be socially.
This is a phase it will soon become a story but how you handle it becomes a forever win or regret.
Peace!!!!!
Freedom is in the mind Dear. You can be living apart and still have no social life.
i hope no one is suggestive to you that you’re caged? If you are 25 years old and need more freedom (which is actually a fact), you may need to do it in a process form, no need moving out.
Firstly, if you have legit activities you’re involved in such as sports, good social groups or even if its events like weddings, i don’t think your folks will hinder you from such. I suspect its trust issues and you need to clear the air by being more accountable rather than fight them. Accountability and trust is a process.
secondly, if you meet someone online or at an event and you need to go on a date , carry them along, it doesn’t make you less an adult.
please don’t fight parents ! not even for this kind of reason(to have a social life) becos, you ll need them in relationships and eventually, marriage.
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