Good evening madam,
I just want to thank you for the way you advise married couples and even singles too. I think more people need to be listening to the way you used to advise,it will help us all for the better. I started following your group for almost one year now,I must confess I am really happy I did.
This group help my marriage very well. It was my wife that actually introduced me to lively stones. That is why I want you people to help me solve this matter. I met my wife 3 years ago. Through a friend’s sister. She had just returned from Germany,she was doing business there and decided to relocate.
I loved her free spirit and adventurous life. She made me happy,and she is very hard working too and we got married not long after that. My wife is quite enlightened because she lived abroad for almost 3 years so I welcome any ideas she brings for our marriage or even my business.
My wife said she discovered that she does not get pleasure from love making because she discovered that she was circumcised as a young girl by her grandmother. So,no matter how much a man tries to pleasure her,she does not reach orgasm and that can be very frustrating for her.
So,she said if I agree,she can use a toy to help come after we finish lovemaking. To me,that is ok. I understand her plight,so I agreed. That is something between us. And our marriage has been sweet ever since. We have 2 children:twins for that matter and we are happy.
Until recently,my wife did something that really annoyed me and the worst part is that she does not seem to understand that she is wrong. I am an African man and not many African man will condone most of the things I allow my wife to do but she does not realize that.
So my wife was teaching the women’s fellowship in our church and went to tell them that if their man is not pleasing them in the bed,that they should use a toy. That was supposed to be a secret between us. She went to even tell them that we use it because I cannot make her orgasm.
My wife just broke my ego as a man. You know how gossip spreads. That was how,everyone in the church heard and my wife and I were called by the Pastor. You need o see the way the Pastor blasted us. I felt so ashamed.
Instead of my wife to apologize,she was saying that it was illiteracy and uncivilization that was worrying all of them. I told her she was wrong and I feel very angry and that she should apologize but she refused. That she has nothing to apologize for.
Because of that,I have banned her from using the toy. Afterall,I have just been told a Christain should not use toys. I feel so upset with all my wife has caused. Yet,she is not seeing the problem.
Things have not been the same in our marriage ever since. She says she cannot enjoy lovemaking with me anymore if I do not allow her use her toy. I wonder now if she loves that toy more than me.
I tried to make peace by making advances at her but she pushes me away. Saying that,if I do not allow her use her toy,she will not let me touch her. I am so pissed at her right now. I love my wife,everything has been good with us but how do we overcome this issue now?
Should I let her use the toy? Is it really against the christian faith to use it? why is my wife not apologizing for embarrassing me?Please advise me.
God bless you madam.
From Lively Stones whatsapp member’s husband
Photo Credit:hivisasa
Wow.. your wife has a big problem with her mouth there are somethings that arent supposed to be said outside..and I don’t understand y she isnt seeing her fault anyways not everyone has eyes to see the wrong ..just give her time and space to see her wrong and dont make any advances the toys should be bound if truly she is a good Christian and she herself want a happy home she will come back to her senses and as a man there are some things you shouldn’t condole if u continue to beg her then she will do worse and u wont be able to correct her so leave her alone let her learn her lesson
This is a very sensitive issue and I will advise you not to take it for granted.
Believe me your wife has been using toy on her self before you met her and I’m very sure she do get all the pleasure from it.
S.e.x in marriage shouldn’t be over looked,
However, sit her down and have a serious discussion with her on how to find solution to the problem without her using toy to get satisfied and you both can also see a doctor for any possible solution.
Pls, do not harsh on her during your discussion, talk to her like husband and wife and also like father to daughter so that she can tell you everything.
My regards.
Excellent advise
This is really serious,I think you should take it easy and talk senses into her..make her realize what she did is wrong and tell her how you feel about the whole issue,I must say she has been using the toy before you guys met …just deal with it peacefully….
Apparently she has been using that you before she met you. You can never please her S.e.xually until you get a hold of her mind.
I suggest you both see a therapist and S.e.x expert.
Hmmm, to me the wife go overboard by mentioning you people’s name as example she should said she know some family. It is ego that don’t make her apologise. And to you as husband the bible said deal with them with wisdom. What you can’t continue don’t start it sir. God will help your family sir. Give her space for now when the matter die down the two of you should talk about it and see each others point of view and come to consensus.
The problem is not about circumcision, I knew when I was circumcised. I was like between 6 – 8 years and I enjoy s-x very much. Her problem is that she was used to it bigger than yours. If she had been having a bigger one than yours, definitely the place is wider than your size. That is the problem. Meee
Your wife is addicted to that toy…she has been using it before you married her…
Sit her down and talk things over with her(cause this issue would destroy your marriage if not treated well…Besides, she has a big issue with her mouth and you have to let her know…
Forgive her for not apologising for the embarrassment she caused.Meanwhile if using toy will restore peace in your home biko release the toy and let love and peace reign in your home.Your wife is already used to toys but sorry she didn’t tell you earlier about it.Release her toy since she said it was due to the circu
I was also circumcised,but still enjoy S.e.x, maybe the man is not be as good as she had expected,n she has not just started using that toy as she claimed,she has been using it since,but she didn’t open up to you. The thing is that she is used to it n it sim like there’s nothing you can do stop her from using that toy,so talk with her n see if she can stop or u let her continue using the toy for peace sake.
Cheers
Your wife has been using the toy even before u met her, and she’s addicted to it..it was very wrong on her part to to talk about it in public.. this is a very sensitive issue pls sit her down n talk with her. I pray u resolve it.
Hello Sir,
Let the wisdom of God guide you in this matter. Your marriage was fine until this so called secret came out.
S*x in marriage is legal and so,what you do in your bedroom with your legally married wife is no one’s business. (As long as you both are ok with the details of your intimate acts) If anything,God loves a romantic and adventurous marriage. (Read Songs Of Solomon in the bible).
Forgive your wife. Some things are better between married people. Many have their beliefs and their struggles with certain actions, if you pray about it,God will guide you.
Forgive your wife even if she has not asked for it (that is what love is,not demanding for who is right or wrong all the time) and please go back to being happy again.
Your wife also needs to be mature about how she goes about things, let her understand that some things are sacred and for only the bedroom.
A sound,happy and godly marriage is all that matters.
You can both talk to a professional counselor,that could help your communication and understanding of each other in future matters of conflict in the marriage.
I wish you all the best.
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