Hello,
Please help me post this. I want to know if I am wrong for taking a decision to break of my engagement. My fiancee and I have been together for almost 2 years. I love her and I always wanted her to be my wife.
I was working a a good paying job but I had to leave cos of some politics. Where I am now,I do not earn as much as before,my plan was to find another job before this pandemic started. That did not stop me from keeping my promise to get married to my girl cos she has been wondering where our relationship is heading to.
I proposed to her in March,hoping to start introduction around May and do everything like traditional marriage and white wedding before the end of the year. My girl knows my financial situation cos I told her that we may have to cut down on spending big on wedding and other things if we are getting married this year.
I proposed to her with a ring and she was happy but I noticed she hardly wears the ring. Her response was:ah,the ring itches her cos its not gold. That he skin reacts to anything that is not gold. I told her to manage,I will change the ring when I receive my next salary.
Two weeks ago,my girl had a misunderstanding with her friend and they were not speaking to each other. I don’t know what led to their issue but I decided to stay away from it cos I am sure its just girls issue. But her friend sent me a screenshot of their conversation where my fiancee was talking bad about me.
This girl sent that screenshot out of anger or whatever but what surprised me was that my fiancee would bad mouth me to her friends. Some one I want to marry? She said to her that I am wretched and she does not know what she is doing with me. That I could not even afford a simple gold engagement ring when she was expecting a diamond ring. That she would never wear the ring.
The screenshot showed other bad things but what got to me was that my girl actually embarrassed me for getting her an engagement ring that is not gold. I been thinking,is this the type of woman I really want to marry? Of course,she started begging when I showed her the screenshots.
She said she did not mean those words,she was only bragging to her friend cos she didn’t want people to mock her for accepting a simple ring from me. I feel betrayed and frankly speaking,my heart seems not to be in this relationship anymore even though I still love her.
I want to call it off..please advise me..should I call it off or forgive her? Is she a gold digger fiancee? Is she this materialistic? Is this a redflag.
Anonymous Lively Stones Blog Fan
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I hope u r not waiting for Angel Gabriel to break the relationship for u.run away for the sake of ur destiny n future while there is the time.
No its Not a RED FLAG, Its a mixture of lockdown red and quarantined gold and a tint of covid resistant white.. PAUSE before indaboski reveals it to you… RUNnnnnnnnn
She have showed you the red flag,I urge you not use sentiment to becloud your sense of reasoning, if at all you most marry that girl both of you need to undergo some series of counselling, and what sort of friends is your woman keeping the type she will lied to inother to match their standards, this is a bad sign, like I said if you are confused about the situation give this relationship some time’s, purse the issue of marriage first,so that you won’t regret in future, be sure of this your girlfriend first before making any future forever together plans
Please let her be and find a man that will give her all she wants. It’s just a tip of what will happen in marriage. Peace of mind is everything and this lady? Won’t give
Let her be for now, just slow down till you are sure
This just let you know that if you want to be with her, you need to up your game by get more financially stable to accommodate her taste. However, girls discuss all sorts so I don’t think its a deal breaker (except if it is for you). What you should do is to have a discussion with her, tell her your plans and She Should Tell You Her Plans Too. Based on her Plans you will know her idea of a marriage and decide if you can meet up. Remember it takes both your effort for the marriage to work.
If you were headed on a road and found that it was a wrong road, won’t you turn back or try find a way to get to the right road?
However, let me give you this scripture and hope that you get help/counsel from God’s word
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
[4]Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud
[5]or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
[6]It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
[7]Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Fact is you love her, but she doesn’t seem to love you, she probably just wants to get married. Show her the scripture above, suspend any move you are planning or making towards marrying her for now and watch her reaction, then you’d know what step to take.
Don’t get under her pressure or emotional blackmail. Be smart.
Thanks for reaching out. First question is why did her friend post those screen shots to you? What actually did she intend to achieve. Think deeply on this.
On the contents of the chart, I will ask you before the issue of proposal ring came up, what has been your impression about her person as regards taste and contentment? Women by their nature are vanity minded, especially those of them deeply involved in competition and I belong syndrome. Is your fiance’s mother still alive? What is her aesthetic disposition? It’s likely your proposed fiancee will take after her. How stable is her family home visavis finance management and marital harmony.
The bitter truth is at her age and level she may not change much. If you feel you cannot afford to be on the edge financially so as to meet her expectations then draw back. If you get married, and your wife cannot help you to calmly and wisely manage resources ,it will be very tough for you. Discuss with her after you answer the above questions and God will direct you.
I think u should take ur time let her be ooo
My brother run for your life, the handwriting is well written on the wall.
Marriage is very deep, if you get married to a woman that can not manage finance you might not have rest of mind.
Stay Blessed
Nna, sorry but that girl is not into u,as u are into her,so use ur tongue n count ur teeth now that is still early,cos this is a beginning of what is to come in the Future. Use ur hand,wen we brag about our men to our friends,we don’t bad mouth our man,we praise them, that’s y they call it bragging. She is saying that gold is common, let her go buy the diamond ring n give it to u to engage her. Anyways good.
Pls call it off before she calls it off herself indeed she has shown her real self… over materialistic dey worry her o
Bro, that type of woman is not worth it, who knows what she had told others about you….
I think you should end the relationship…she x materialistic n such lady won’t help you in the future
Please leave this girl and run for your life. She is a gold digger, let her go and buy herself gold or diamond engagement ring.
Well ,you said you love her. If sincerely you love her, then forgive her. Love is forgiving . Love do not keep grudges.
She seems not to be comfortable with the financial aspect of the relationship. Aside that she is not being confident of who she is dating. She can still be given a trial before commencing on the marriage.
My dear, she has shown u who she truely is, d warning signs are dere so u know wat to do before u go into marriage & start regretting it.
This is a red flag in your relationship with this girl. Her bad mouthing you is bad enough. Run with your two legs.
You need to be with someone who respects you and sees a future with you no matter your current situation but your girl’s action shows she’s really not so into you.
Take care…
Break up with her and reevaluate your life.
To me there’s more to their fight , for her friend to open up to u n even screenshot their chats
And to the guy ,u are the one wearing d shoe n knows ao it pinches as to end it with her or not but to me the lady does not worth it , instead of her to cover up ur flaws she’s busy making mouth about u with her friend , I did not see love here .
Some of us does not really know ao God works ,it might be a warning for u to flee n u are here claiming love .
hi,
I would go with Dr Uche’s advise above. I think you need to have a heart to heart discussion with your girl. Clearly,she goofed but you need to know if that is how she really is or it was just a one time bad error in judgement.
Her type of friend too is questionable. She needs to cut off from such people,who may even be the ones trying to influence her to be materialistic.
Give her the benefit of doubt. Lets see if she will start wearing the ring now and if she really would change her behavior. If she still gives you reason to doubt her sincerity,then let her go.
God bless you.
You will not travel far with her. She will frustrate your future and destroy your hope of organise living. walk away now. Every gal I know give a good account of their spouse to their friends and family. This is unfortunate.
I think you need to pause for a while if you aren’t sure yet.
1st of all what kind of woman bad mouths her fiance infront to her friend? And what kind of friend is she even keeping? Just like @Oluwakemi said most ladies always cover up thier men outside.
From what i read she doesn’t love him sincerely to want to humiliate him before her friend.
Just chill and observe the situation if she isn’t trying to be a suitable woman for you then you can let go.
What i think there is more about that there fight why will her friend sent you there chat what her gain to me i feel like it normal it happens if she had say good things about you will her friend tell you so my brother calm down and relax your brain nd muscles think well. If you love her as you claim you love , love is patient love is pain love is sharing love is sacrifice. So now it the time of pain you want to back out because you feel pain no, not now hold on nd be patient
I think there is more to there fight why will her friend sent you there chat what her gain to me i feel like it normal it happens if she had say good things about you will her friend tell you so my brother calm down and relax your brain nd muscles think well. Love is patient love is pain love is sharing love is sacrifice. So now it pain you want to back out no hold on nd be patient with her
‘I am wretched and she does not know what she is doing with me. That I could not even afford a simple gold engagement ring when she was expecting a diamond ring. That she would never wear the ring’.
Those words reveal the proud state of her heart.
Even if she said she just said that to her friend , she confirmed her displeasure by not wearing the ring when with you.
‘You are wretched’ ? How will she submit to you when married ? Acting submission and cursing inside her heart whenever you don’t meet her expectations?
If I were in your shoes, Ill forgive her but leave the wedding issue, like a commenter rightly said most ladies who want to marry a man , cover up his short coming before others even their parents because there’s something they believe in the future.
Dear husband to be,, d choice is urs to make dear. U have to weigh it n c if u can meet up to her standard,, with dis chats n d engagement u have known n see d kind of woman she is. So decide nw whether to double ur hustle so u can meet up to her level of demand or u quit. Cos it’s something u nid to tackle nw before marrying her so u won’t regret it 2mrw.
My brother run like someone mad man is pursuing . she has shown you covid19 red flag don’t wait to get pandemic Wuhan red.
Guy run for ur life she nt a good wife