True Life Story: How I Discovered That My Husband’s Family Does Not Respect Wives
Hi Lively Stones,
I have been married for six years now. My husband was married before with a kid. His ex wife is in Turkey and remarried. As it stands, our marriage was like an arranged marriage, my Aunty in Abuja connected us. When I met my husband, he seemed cool. Obviously a well made man. And he looked very responsible too. Not particularly a modern kind of man but he was ok to me, it was not a marriage or romance, as long as he was providing for me, I was fine.
Through out our marriage, I have never bothered to ask my husband about certain things about him or his business or his source of income. My husband gives me money and I also have my own business. Until a few months ago, actually in December, he bought me a car for Christmas. So, we were filling out some forms at the insurance for my car and I saw that the car my husband bought for me is registered in his name and his next of kin is his elder sister in Italy.
I then asked my husband why is my name not on the car and why is his sister his next of kin and not me? My husband said wives’ names are not tendered on any properties in their families. That whatever the wife needs, the husband will provide and if anything happens to the husband…maybe in case of death…the family will provide for the wife. That its their tradition that wives names are not tendered on any properties.
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This was a shock to me. I went on to realize that my name is not on any of my husband’s properties. My husband is well to do…he gives me money but that is it….no properties will be willed to me. As for our children, until when they come to age 18, that is when they will become his estate beneficiaries but the next of kin remains the sister and if the sister dies, it will become the brothers.
Even though I did not marry my husband for his money, I feel like he has cut me off a part of him and this makes me think he is a wicked man for doing this. I am not desperate for his money but I will fight for what is mine. I know that by law, his legal wife is supposed to be entitled to his estate if he dies…my question now is: should I wait until that time arises or should I get a lawyer involved now?
This matter is very sensitive and it makes me feel sometimes like I don’t like the man I married…infact, I feel very upset at him cos for him to take such a decision means he does not love me or think of me as part of him. I placed him as my own next of kin for God sake. Now, am thinking I am in this marriage just to bear him children. My worth is not appreciated. And I keep asking myself…why wait for that inevitable future, why not walk away from this marriage and their senseless tradition about wives?
Please advise me…what should I do? do you think I am being paranoid for nothing?
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