True Life Story: How I Lost My Marriage But I Am Fighting To Win Back My Man
Dear Lively Stones,
I regret separating from my husband. I am sad and contemplating ending it all sometimes. You see, its very important that anyone going into marriage should understand that your spouse will not be perfect and they are not responsible for your happiness. When I got married five years ago, I had high expectations of my husband. From the fact that I felt he was not romantic, he was not spending on me the way my friends’ husbands were or the fact that we were always having quarrels.
In hindsight, I see that if I had been more understanding and patient with his flaws, I would still be married by now. I had my own flaws but I never gave my husband a chance. I was always complaining. He was disappointed that I never gave him a chance. I suspected every female around him and accused him of cheating without catching him with anyone.
The last straw was when I saw him giving a female colleague a lift…I warned him never to do that again and he told me I cannot dictate what he can do. I told him if he tries it again, I will separate from him. Our marriage is blessed with one son, he is 3 years old. We were not speaking for days. I started withholding s3x from him. I pushed him further away. Bad friends advised me wrongly too.
Arrogance pushed me away from my husband’s house. I took off to Dubai with the money I had and from there, I got a temporary job working there. I thought my life was going to change and I will meet someone better. I told myself I deserved better, I was tired of my marriage and my husband then. But after my one year work visa expired, I was not so lucky. I came back home and found out that my husband had moved in a lady into our home. Legally, I am still his wife but we married traditionally and my people have not returned the bride process but my husband’s family has refused to allow me back.
Its been two years since I left my marriage. One year since I came back from Dubai and I have been trying to date and all the men I date just want s3x and no one wants marriage. I swallowed my pride and went on my knees to beg my husband. He said its too late…that I abandoned my marriage for over a year and his new lover is pregnant and he is planning to go and see her parents soon. He was like…he can take me back but as co-wife. That the other woman will not agree but she does not need to know, he will rent a place for me.
Me and my husband have had s3x three times since I begged him…yet he is still going ahead to marry her by the end of this month. But he does not need to marry her na…why is he still trying to punish me…I feel devastated…its like dug my own grave. Sometimes, I have had evil thoughts against that woman. I know I messed up but its still my home and my man. I don’t want to share…I know I deserve what has happened to me but I will do anything to get my man back and the other woman out of the way.
A month ago, I almost went to a juju man to help eliminate the woman but in the last minute, I backed out cos I was afraid. I am sad and lonely and miss my husband, I miss my home…my husband was not perfect but he was not a bad man. I want to use this to warn other women who may be fighting their husbands now…be careful…if he is not beating you and you have not caught him red handed cheating…then don’t rush out of the marriage…the streets are not smiling o.
So, here I am…praying for a miracle cos I don’t think I can ever share my husband…someone said I should try and sue my husband for taking another wife while our traditional marriage has not been annulled but since its traditional marriage…he has right to marry more than one wife…plus I don’t want to aggravate him more with legal case.
I have also read that kayanmata can do the work. Since my husband still have s3x with me, that will be easy to do. I can seduce him with kanyamata…its just that, I don’t know if there is any repercussion…I don’t want anything that will harm me or him in future. Please has anyone used kayanmata before…does it work? I need to fight for my man. I know I threw away my happiness with my hand but I still have a small chance before the end of this month to try and claim my husband back…is anything wrong in that, he is still my husband…I am only trying to win him back from someone he has not yet married?
Its not like all is perfect now but I have realized my mistake of expecting perfection when even me I was not perfect… maybe something or someone was influencing me, just to make me loose my husband and suffer…I am in need of better advise now…I never had any one advise me before: what should I do:
- Try kayanmata or
- Manage and be co-wife or
- Forget about my husband completely?
I have learnt a had lesson…I need help.
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