True Life Story: My Wife Is Bringing Bad Luck And Frustration To My Life
Good afternoon Lively Stones,
Please you people should help me with advise. Its a very long story but I cannot type too much, so I will try and make it short. I got married at the age of 41. My family members actually forced me to marry because I was too career driven at the time, I was not thinking of relationship. So, my parents suggested a young lady from my village, they sent her over to me in the city, this girl was a very pretty graduate of NCE and she seduced me the very first time we met, we had s3x.
Not too long, she got pregnant and my family arranged for her bride price to be paid because I said I no money for big wedding. They did the traditional rites and said I can do the church wedding when I am ready financially. That is how our marriage started. She was pregnant and so could not work when she moved into my house. So I was responsible for all our needs in the home.
I would not say I was in love with my wife because I have been in love many years ago, this time, it was not love but I was getting too old and my folks forced a wife on me cos time was not on my side. I did not reject the wife cos she was pretty and sexy and looked like a wife material. However, I did not know that my wife was not an ambitious woman. I have always imagined I would marry a woman that would team up with me and build a future together.
Unfortunately, all my wife can think of is doing petty trades. I even encouraged her to apply for teaching jobs with her NCE after our son became 1 year. Instead…she got pregnant immediately. And her pregnancy makes her very sick so she cannot work. That is how I ended up having 4 children in three and half years. It seemed like, I was now the breadwinner. My wife was not contributing anything significant.
This situation made me angry most times, you know na…things are hard…all my colleagues, their wives support them…my own only sells ground nut or fruits. Eventually, I got her a job as a teacher in a primary school but they fired her cos she was not even a good teacher. She confessed to me that she really does not want to do teaching …I asked her what she wants to do…she says I should open buka for her, that she likes cooking and believes she can sell and make money.
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Na so I borrowed 150k to get small shop and set up her buka. In less than 3 months, business failed. No profit came out…she was in more debt than when she started. I now had to be repaying a debt that no impact in our lives. I was very upset. About a year later, she said she wanted to learn how to sew. I had a serious talk with her to take her life serious cos I need her to be a support and not a liability. I paid for the sewing class.
Two months into the six months class course, my wife had a fall out with the owner of the place she was learning. The woman complained of gossiping and sowing seed of discord among the other ladies learning to sew. She even refunded the money we paid. I had to call my wife’s parents to talk to their daughter cos I was tired. In today’s Nigeria, everyone knows how difficult it is to survive…and my wife is not making any effort to support me.
My wife’s father called me to insult me, saying its not a woman’s place to work to support her husband. That I should be a man and take care of my family and stop complaining. It then dawned on me, that my wife is lazy and spoilt because that is how her family is. Her mother does not work but their father inherited some houses from their grandfather, all they do is collect rent, which they use to survive, they never work.
I started to feel like I made a mistake in marrying my wife. We have four children that I did not plan for, I kept telling her to use family planning that other women use but she lied to me that she did…when she gets pregnant, she will say its God’s will. I am frustrated. The little money I earn cannot sustain us. I have visions and dreams for my life. I want to be able to work and afford a better life but it seems with this woman, I cannot achieve much in life.
My wife will be fighting me everyday for money for food and other items;I try to drop but I sincerely dont have. I had to borrow from my office cooperative for our last house rent and children school fees. So, every month, out of my 189k salary, I came home with only about 50k a month. Do the math: I will pay transport to work, drop money for food, pay NEPA, water bill, security bill, with four children and a wife…how do I cope?
So one day, I got really very frustrated, I got drunk. So, I went to sleep it off…only to wake up to go and pee after I slept so deep for like 20 mins…our apartment is a one room self contain…I opened the toilet ….and saw the back of a man….with his trousers down…he was f*cking my wife who was bent over the toilet seat. I thought it was the alcohol that was making me see strange things but I shouted hey….who are you,….what is going on here…the man turned around and low, it was my neighbor.
My neighbor that drives keke….also is from the same village as my wife and I. This man I took like a relative was f*cking my wife…I was still too drunk cos I tried to hit him, he pushed me and ran outside. My wife quickly pulled her pant up and also ran out of the toilet. I was in shock…I went after my wife and began to beat her. All I could feel was so much anger and frustration that I wanted to finish her. As far as I know, all she brings is bad luck since I married her.
I threw her things out and asked her to leave my house. Other neighbors were begging me to forgive her. Then her mother called…I was happy she called cos I wanted to tell them to expect their daughter. Instead of blaming her daughter, her mother blamed me for my wife’s cheating. She said, that her daughter was pushed to cheat cos she and the children had not eaten for two days and there was no money, so she slept with my neighbor who said he will give her money if she lets him f*ck her.
Can you imagine the kind of parents my wife has? Is that an excuse to cheat on your husband? How long have they been fcking? Have I not tried as a man? Marriage of almost five years, I have been the only breadwinner…the lazy wife refusing to work or support me? Do they want to kll me? My blood pressure has gone up so much. It was because of one elderly man in my compound that I allowed my wife to come inside but I have told her to leave by month end or I will leave.
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In all my life, I have never laid hands on a woman before. I am so ashamed of the wife I married. See what she is turning me into, everyone in the compound is laughing at me. Even my parents who forced me to marry her are regretting. They say I can do whatever I like cos they have tried to intervene and talk to my wife but she disrespects them cos her family is in support of her bad behaviour.
What else have I not done? I need your advise because another matter has come up and this time…it may be a sign that I need to divorce my wife. Please I need your advise before I continue my story…where I will share an opportunity that has come up for me, which will change my life but I need your advise on how to handle this matter with my wife…is there still any hope for this marriage to work at all? is this wife not a destiny destroyer? Please advise me.
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