True Life Story: See How Much I Have Suffered For Trying To Find Love
Good evening madam Jzhane,
Please hide my identity. I need your advice on this matter. Before I start, I want to say I know that I made a mistake and I know I am wrong for my part in this story I want to share but then, I have asked God for forgiveness and I know His grace is sufficient for me. So, I am a single mother of three. I have been struggling since my husband passed in the year 2018. Before he passed, he was sick, very sick and could not work for almost two years.
During that time, I had only my two children. It was very hard on us cos my husband had to quit his job and I became the breadwinner. I had a provision shop that was doing well but as mu husband got sicker, it became harder to focus on the shop. Anyone I put in the shop to help me, were just stealing my money or mismanaging the shop. You know, the margins in retail provision shop is not so much. With time, I could barely sustain even paying rent for the shop.
Then my husband passed. It was devastating cos after all the struggle, debts we owed to try to save him, he eventually died. Well, we owed so much, from hospital bill to food to rent to school fees….we were owing everyone. My friend Ona was my rock. This woman stood by me, gave my children and I a home when we had no option but to return home. Ona gave me and my children, a room in her ground floor in her duplex.
Ona and I became friend from her supplying provision to me. She has a big ware house where she supplies customers in wholesale. When she found out about my husband’s sickness, she took interest in me. She eventually took me into her home when I had no where to go to. She employed me as one of her sales officers. I was very happy. But then, devil struck. Ona’s husband started to make passes at me behind Ona’s back.
I resisted the passes and hide it from Ona for one who year. I did not want to be the cause of any marital problems they would have cos Ona has been so good to me. Eventually, after a year plus….the husband had worn me out…I too had not been with a man for almost four years cos when my husband was sick, we were not sleeping together. The temptation was great….I know I was wrong and I h*te myself for this but that is how Ona’s husband and I started sleeping with each other behind her back.
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The affair continued for a while, several months until Ona caught us red handed. I almost wanted to die cos I know I have betrayed someone who only helped me when no one else did. Ona threw me out of her house of course. I took my children back to the village and stayed back in Lagos. A month later, I discovered I was pregnant. I told Ona’s husband about it and he told me to keep the pregnancy. I told him no cos I cannot just sleep with someone’s husband….to have a child is too much betrayal…if someone did that to me…I don’t think I will take that.
Ona’s husband refused to give me money for the abortion. I tried to take local abortion pills but they did not work. I went to a nurse to do the abortion, I saved up 6k but the nurse said it was not enough but I promised to pay back the remaining 8k later. The abortion went very badly. I bleed a lot and I was in pains for days. When I could not bear the pains again, I was rushed to the hospital. It was at the hospital I was told that the abortion had failed. The baby had survived. The doctor warned me not to try any further plan to abort else I might loose my life.
That was how I had no choice but to keep the baby. I told Ona’s husband. He started sending me small money as upkeep for the baby. I had a baby boy. Of course, he still wanted us to continue the affair. I wanted to stop but if I any time I refuse to sleep with him, he will stop giving me money and I needed to survive. My children in the village needed to survive too. It was not an affair of enjoyment but of survival.
Just in case you are wondering why I did not save money to be free of this man….This man never gave me big money cos he knew if he gave me money, I would be able to do something for myself and end the affair. He wanted me to be coming back to him for stipends all the time. he wanted to keep me as his S** slave, always begging for money to survive. Sometimes, he wont give me money, but he will buy us food stuff.
In 2022, August , Ona’s husband got involved in an accident ….he died in the accident. And now, the helper has died just like my late husband. I feel enemies don’t want me to ever be happy in this life. Things took a different turn for the worse. I have not been able to recover from my husband passing or my baby daddy’s passing. I don’t know who ever I offended but things are just getting worse….sometimes, me and my children can hardly feed.
Out of hunger and desperation, I had to go and beg Ona to forgive me and help me at least with feeding for my children or at least, her husband’s son. Ona chased me away, asked the security to rough handle me. I made enquiries and located Ona’s husband’s people. I had to let them know that their late son has a son with me. But Ona’s people were already siding with Ona, that she is right to cut me off. I dont know what to do anymore. I am watching my children suffer….my son suffer when his father was a wealthy man. My son looks exactly like his dad….
I do not wish anyone any evil but I am being advised by some people that I should go to court and report that I have a child. That the court will force Ona to make sure my son is well cared for. I dont have any money for court wahala but someone said I can get some lawyers who do NGO work and they can represent me for free but I am also thinking…..I have hurt Ona enough…if I go to court, will that not also be very wicked of me? I just want to be able to provide for my children. Please advise me.
Is there no other way instead of dragging Ona to court? I have tried to look for a job but nothing is forth coming. I even go to uncompleted buildings to carry cement and sand cos I have nothing else. Its telling on my body and I keep falling ill. I fear I might soon break down and maybe die too from too much suffering. Please advise me…should I drag Ona to court to make her take care of me and my son? Will that not be seen as me being wicked? I do not wish to cause any more trouble for Ona ….
I await your advise. Thank you.
Anonymous
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Please go to your family members. Go to them and leave Ona out of this.
You can get something doing in the village,it is not a must you stay in Lagos. Get a Bible believing church for serious prayers and deliverance,you need serious prayers from whatever is making men die around you.
Your case is settled
Hmmm, thank God u know u messed up, u better leave ona and go carry ur cross u alone thank God this come at the right time tomorrow go find capiter to do ur own cross so as u go add too to d thive wa them crosify with our saviour there u can beg for mercy.
ur story is pathetic and sad , but u made alot of mistake from the time u started S.e.xing the husband of the woman who accommodated u , that was wicked of u , and when u were giving him S.e.x , u should have used the opportunity to make money from him , but u didn’t , u gave him free S.e.x , and when u were pregnant for him u still did not do that , how does a man have S.e.x with u and pregnant u , but u do not have any legal claim over his asset or prove to show he is the father of ur baby , even if u go to court , how do u justify the fact that onan husband is the father of the child , u should have gone to court when he was still alive , by then sueing him , u have more probability of winning .
sueing the wife would be a bad idea , u almost destroy her marriage by having S.e.x with the husband and also having a child for him , what did she do to u to deserve all of that , was it bad she accommodated u ?
madam the husband was ur problem not the wife , u should have sued the man , for pregnating u and refusing to claim the child .
there is more to this story , u really need to cleanse ur energy especially the negatives energy , something go south for a person but there are caused by negative energy , and until u can cleanse urself u might be having series of unfortunate events . I would have told u to do somethings but I am limited to say somethings here , the negatives energy have to be put away .
get a good spiritual gathering , where they can help u both spiritually and financially .
good luck
Get any Kind Of Salt
Get freshly plucked bitterleaf same day.
Get into the bath Room, rub the salt all over your body from head to toe as you pray.
Then use the Bitterleaf to scrub as sponge and rinse off afterwards
there is more to do , but let’s start somewhere
wish I knew her in person
Let Ona be. Don’t even think of dragging her to court for anything. You showed the height of ingratitude the moment you slept with her husband, don’t let it graduate into a higher evil.
Go to the village. There you will have a free accommodation and your children can attend government school where you won’t need to pay school fees. What you will worry about will be mostly feeding which you can get by farming and any work you can lay your hands on.
Look for a Bible church and join. Give your life to Christ and live a new life. God will show you mercy.
Men and disgracing themselves and family for lack of self control… it’s just evil.
You need to stop doing this thing of continuously making poor decisions just because you are afraid to stand on your own, maybe if you had told ona about her husband’s advances even if she threw you out she would have understood or atleast people would tell her you are a good person for not taking advantage of sleeping with her husband (which was a heavy disadvantage anyway), and who knows maybe your good heart would have led you to a better person but instead you always prefer the wrong but easy way out. Worse is how people around you cannot advice you right, what do they mean by telling you to sue a woman who did nothing but try to help you while you did nothing but betray her?
Just leave that woman alone and for once think inward, ask God for directions, He will never direct you to hurt another person especially one who was only kind to you. I wish you all the best in making healthier decisions.
They will never hold women accountable, its always mens fault. Nonsense
Hello, you did not do well, you could have told Ona when her husband was making passes at you.
Don’t take her to court. Look for her Pastor or Priest, be sure you are speaking directly with the right person face to face, tell your story, let the Pastor/ Priest know you are really sorry but looking for a way to survive and begging for Ona to release something sustainable to you ( assuming they actually have) that you can use to take care of her husband’s son and you do not want to be a pain . Hopefully they give something you can grow and then stop reaching out to her afterwards, bear your cross and work hard to take care of your three children, if you had done the right thing perhaps now God would have been rewarding you now with your Boaz.
If nothing is given to you, find a way to fend for your children but don’t drag Ona to court
Wish you the best
Dear Poster,
You made alot of mistakes.
It’s obvious fear lives in your spirit and you are overwhelmed with all the challenges. Who won’t be? But, values and discipline is important.
Leave Ona and go to God with a sincere heart. Ask for forgiveness and start serving God. You have hurt Ona enough. Dragging her to court is wickedness and God won’t forgive you. You wronged her and should cover your face in shame and disappear from her life completely.
The man is the person you should have dragged to have a signed upkeep for your child from welfare then but he is no more.
You may have accepted that man as a way for better survival otherwise, you won’t be thinking of your son’s father being wealthy and he suffers.
Don’t your first husband has family? Don’t you have your own family? Go back to them.
Ge humble to start from the scratch. Minimise all expenses and be hopeful. Let God raise your children for you.
You might find a man who will cater for your kids but need a wife back at home.
If you can do business, start dropshipping, sell small items and sure trust God.
Nothing will happen to you but you need to go to bible believing church for prayers and truly give your life to God.
All the best.