True Life Story: Tired Of Keeping Secrets-I Just Want To Be Happy
Nine years ago, I was posted to Abia State from my office. I worked then with the Federal Government. I did not like the city cos I was a Lagos boy all the way. I just tried to bear the time being there. At that time, I had a girlfriend but she was in Lagos. It was nothing serious even though she wanted me to marry her but she was not giving me any sparks, so I was just in the relationship for the fun of it.
I think God sent me to Abia so I could meet someone who would change my life forever. I met Adaeze (not real name but she is truly an Ada…beautiful first daughter of her parents). It was love at first sight…no cap at all. But she had a fiancé…most Ibo young girls were engaged or married to rich Ibo men who were half educated but because of their wealth, they married young pretty girls who are graduates.
Adaeze and myself were very close. She knew I liked her but she did not want to encourage anything cos she knew her parents would never approve of her dating a yoruba boy…besides, her wedding was in 4 months. But it was the best time of my life. Adaeze made me laugh. We loved each other’s company so much.
I begged Adaeze to run away with me but she was afraid. A day to her wedding, Adaeze came to my apartment. She wanted me to make love to her before she got married. She just wanted to say goodbye her own way. We made love and it was the most beautiful act…she was crying when she left afterwards.
Perhaps, she blocked me cos after that day, I could not reach Adaeze anymore. I eventually did not see her anymore cos she moved to live with her new Husband in Enugu. After a year, I was transferred back to Lagos. I got married to my girlfriend but I always thought about Adaeze every day of my life since that time.
Thank God for social media. I found Adaeze on IG about three years ago and we started chatting. She told me all about her life. She was a mother of three children, a boy and 2 girls. I was in America with my family. We could chat for hours upon hours. A few months later, her husband was diagnosed of cancer. She stopped chatting with me cos she needed to care for her husband fully.
The man died 8 months later. Adaeze and her children relocated to America last year. She did not tell me until 3 months ago. I was happy and wanted to see her but she kept telling me that she does not want to see me cos I am married and she does not trust herself around me. That I have been the love of her life, she thought about me all through her six years marriage with her late husband.
Then, her birthday came and I begged her to let me see her. We met last month in a restaurant and hugged so much we did not want to let go. We chatted and laughed all through the conversation. We both agreed that we should have been together, but we allowed people decide our fate.
Adaeze then showed me a picture of her first son. I was startled cos the boy was so handsome. She then told me that she carried out a DNA test, that the boy is my son. From that night before her wedding. I was shocked. Asked her why she didn’t tell me…she said because if she did, her children would loose their heritance from their father.
There I sat, looking at the picture of a son I never knew existed. Sitting beside the only woman I ever loved…I was mixed with so many emotions. We ended up kissing and making up in y car…we would have gone further but she kept saying….no no…you are married.
What I did not tell her was that yes, I was married but why should I be married to someone else when the woman I love and my son is not in my life? My wife and I share a son but that does not mean much. My wife actually cheated on me last year with her boss, who is also my friend. She quit her job after. Somewhere, I think she is in love with him still.
My wife said she was not happy with our marriage then. Maybe I can never make her really happy…maybe because my life is incomplete without Adaeze…maybe its because we are meant to be with other people and not together but I just wanted to do the right thing then and decided we should work things out that time.
Before now, I told myself divorce is not an option cos I forgave my wife and tried to go to counselling and work out our issues. But things have never remained the same again. The small love we had has been going down since…even now, its completely gone cos since Adaeze came back into my life…all I think about is her and my son.
I deserve to be happy but I am feeling bad about filing for a divorce. and but Adaeze says no one can find out that her son is mine cos she and her other children will loose their inheritance…every day, I keep thinking what to do about this…I cannot stop thinking about Adaeze…my son…I feel stuck in a marriage and yet…I cannot quit…
My son deserves to know who his real father is…I deserve to have a relationship with him…but Adaeze’s other children deserve to have their inheritance (their father was very wealthy and I can understand ), what their father left for them…not to be take away from them if the news comes out that their brother is not their father’s son…
I am tired Of keeping secrets that I am in love with another woman and that I have a son outside, I Just Want To Be Happy…I just want to be with my son and Adaeze … what should I do please.
Anonymous
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Mr. lover with all though respect I will advice u to face ur family and leave Adaeze alone. Even if u want to be having S.e.xual relationship with her it’s ur choice. But for the son, to the best of my knowledge in Igbo land the man that pays bride price on a woman owns her children even now that her husband is dead, if she gets pregnant for u again it still belongs to her husband so far her bride price is still intact. Don’t complicate ur life further buy started a fight u can’t win. If u see him show him love but his name can never be changed to urs, let ur own son matter to too. U never know the head that will wear the crown. Don’t let love mislead u because most times it’s not enough.
You Adaeze and you wife are wicked irresponsible set of people. A lady was to be married, yet you chose to sleep with her, now the first born of her is not for her late husband but you, but cos of inheritance, she decided not to tell her late husband and his family.
I wonder why men trust women, Adaeze is a wicked woman, oga if you are not careful, na Vagina go end you, mark my words. As for your wife too, she too is a wicked woman, I pity all you that commit adultery, you have no idea what awaits you after death, you all keep deceiving yourselves with lust, yen yen yen I can’t do without you, as if you were no living before meeting the other person you were doing adultery with.
Its always S.e.x S.e.x S.e.x, later men like you will be shouting DNA test but sleeping with peoples wife to be. Nonsense.
Dont worry you can keep pestering her for S.e.x, like I said, na vagina go end some of you. Peace
You did not give a solution or advice to this problem but only lambasted them all. Bad as they all may be, God in his infinite mercies will forgive them if they make their ways right and follow after Him. Peace!