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True Life Story: What To Do With An Evil Sister In-law With Bad Character?


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True Life Story: What To Do With An Evil Sister In-law With Bad Character?

Hi Jzhane,

Some people are just devils in human form. Can you imagine what my sister in-law is doing to me? Just because she wants to see me suffer? I was in love with Tade (not real name) for almost 3 years.  We loved each other deep until left for Germany to do his masters. We maintained a long distance relationship until he met someone there and he told me that he was having feelings for the girl.

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It broke my heart but after three years of long distance and it looked like he was not coming back anytime soon, plus my age clock was ticking, I allowed him go …we broke up. Not too long after, I met my husband and got married to him. My sister inlaw is my husband’s elder sister. They are quite close. Because of my husband, I became close to her. She would tell me how lonely she was cos she was 4 years older than me and she was not in any relationship.

This SIL now became my matter o…she was always in my house….almost acting like she is my big sister…ordering me around in my home. I kept my cool but always reported her to my husband. Hubby always pleaded with me to bear with her and just take her like my own. Last year, Tade contacted me to say he was back in Naija. I told him I was married…he said he was single. He thought I was still available but told him I have moved on.

Tade told me that he regrets our break up and he just wants to marry and settle down now. I don’t know what entered my head, I went ahead to recommend my sister in-law to Tade. And because Tade trusts my judgment, he did not question me. He met my sister in-law and before you knew it, they were planning wedding and eventually got married. Now that they are dating and planning to marry, every day, this SIL of mine keeps coming to gist me about Tade…how nice he is….how she does not know why I gave up such a great man,etc.

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To me, I was happy for her….at least, let her enjoy the relationship since she was so desperate. Now, the issue has turned to another thing. She and Tade are now quarrelling. Relationship  that is not even up to six months…and the problem is because of her….she is to possessive….to controlling and too evil minded. Couples are supposed to have issues in marriage and they are supposed to find a way to resolve it.

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Now, when they have issues, instead of her to focus on their issues….she will say that I am responsible for their relationship problems. That Tade is still in love with me….that I introduced her to Tade so I can still be close to Tade. She is saying this cos, at first when their issues started….Tade would confide in me….maybe cos she is my SIL…and since I am the one that introduced them, that I can help him talk to her. But now, this my SIL is turning the whole thing around and going to my husband that I am looking for a way to be close to my ex that is why I introduced them cos Tade does not love her like me…and that Tade is already tired of her.

The real reason is that Tade is tired of my SIL is just cos of her attitude. Everyone is tired of her attitude. I am even begging Tade to over look her attitude cos if they don’t marry…this woman will come back to my house and continue to torment me. Did I do wrong for introducing them? SIL went to tell my husband that she does not want me and Tade to speak to each other again unless she is not marrying him….and then Tade is saying if she does not change….he is not doing again.

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My husband is believing his sister and is giving me attitude….that I still have feelings for my ex Tade. Right now, I feel like strangling this my SIL or even poisoning her….why cant she just change and make this relationship work and leave my life alone? I have stopped talking to Tade….but that is making things worse cos am the only one that can keep Tade calm to even continue with this tyrant of a SIL…do you even think Tade is using this relationship to get to me? I do not believe so…maybe there is a tenderness there but we broke up almost five years ago and he liked my SIL from when he met her…everything was going well until her attitude started showing up.

What am I missing here…please advise me….how do I make sure this SIL marries and leaves me and my husband alone? Even if Tade does not marry her…another guy will still have the same issues with her…now I know why she is still single at 39. Infact, I don’t care if she and Tade break up, how do I keep her from interfering with my marriage? Mu husband cannot stand up to her. How do I sort out this issue now?

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. The only thing I can say here, pray about it and find a good way to talk to your hubby and stop your sil from coming to your home. Find a way to move far away from her. You cause it from the beginning and I know you can find a way to stop it too.

  2. Desperate people will always create problems and blow up their cover no matter how they deny it.

    I won’t blame you because you wanted to help her and help yourself by sending her away through marriage to Tade.

    The ordeal has been done.

    Yout husband knows the sister and is acting uo because Tade is your ex, but you should not panic.

    Go on your knees and pray to win your husband’s heart. Tell your husband that you won’t stand his sister to continue to cause problems for herself and laying blames on you. Moreover, she won’t be around your home whether she marries Tade or not except he is ready to marry the sister.

    She should be away from both of you.

    She has caused you enough discomfort and should grow up and have her own world or family.

    Your good won’t destroy you or your home.

    Stand on your feet and make your voice heard but be wise not to let Tade get too close.

    Asssure him, you never meant to recommend problem to him but it turns out SIL is troublesome.

    Pray for your marriage, Tade and change in attitude of your SIL.

    God help you.

  3. At 39 and she still behaves like a child.

    Abeg tell Tade not to marry her again oooo,let him serve her early morning breakfast as e dey hot. The earlier they break up,the better for everyone. Dem never even start marriage,nahim wahala don tie wrapper. Please tell your husband that you need privacy,let your sister in law find her square root with immediate alacrity.

    It is well,just be calming down,don’t poison anyone,allow her to be misbehaving until she reaches menopause,shioor.


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