We Got Married Despite The Odds But My Wife Won’t Leave The Past Behind
Hi,
Please I will remain anonymous. I married my best friend six years ago. Ours was never a perfect relationship. We are two hustlers coming from the streets. She came from nothing like me, hustled and made it to where we are now. Marriage would have been impossible for both of us because we both knew our pasts and its not one we are proud of but we are both determined to make it in life.
I have done things I am not proud of. In my hustle, I did everything to make it out of the streets. So, has my wife. When I decided to marry her, I was told not to because she had slept with a lot of guys, some my friends. People thought I was crazy to marry such a girl. I didn’t care cos like I said, I too have not been a saint and she knows my past as well.
Right now, I run a chain of businesses, some of them, bars, clubs and restaurants and I am used to the life that comes with it. As a result of marriage, my wife quit some of the businesses she used to be in.. (I don’t want to go into too much details). And by the grace of God, we are doing ok. We have two boys (4 and 3 years old).
The issue now is that, since the children are a bit grown now, my wife has decided to go back into business. She suddenly realized she is not cut out to be a house wife, she wants to work and she wants to be part of my business and like I said, I run entertainment business and I am used to the lifestyle. I want my wife to do something different, maybe open a boutique or events planning but she insists that she wants to be part of running the clubs, bars and restaurants.
I tried to talk to her that I would support anything else that she wants to do but she should forget about coming to join me to run my business. For the first time,my wife accuse me of hiding things from her. That I don’t want her to know about my financials and accused me of being a hypocrite who knows that she can do very well in my type of business but want her to do something she is not proud of.
To be honest, I know she can do very well in my business but like I said, I am trying to separate my family from that kind of life.I want her and the children to have something better. My wife also used to have a drug addiction and my fear is that going back to this type of business will expose her to drug use again.
My wife is not happy. She says she wants to work with my business or she will get another job with another club or bar. I thought she was joking but she started work in a club cos she is well known in the industry, she has network too.
I feel like while I want my wife to do what she likes to do,she has to respect my wish as her husband and do what I think is best for the family. I got upset with her for going against my wish. Now, you might say: I should have known better but I honestly thought our past could be left behind so we can forge a new life but clearly, my wife cannot leave that past behind.
This matter got so bad that I told her that she has to choose between our marriage and her job. My wife, in order to spite me, slept with her boss, a known guy in the industry. (Although she denies this but rumors are flying around saying she did) And before I knew what was happening, my wife was spending more time outside of our home with men (in the name of work) and left our children in care of nannies.
I do not want to be separated from my wife. I wanted to have a home to raise my children like I never had but it looks like I made the wrong choice in who I married. We may be best friends but she certainly isnt the mother type.
I am upset and at cross roads. Is there any way we can make this work? Her demand is that she works with me or she goes on her own. She has hardly been at home for the last couple of months. I feel like I have to make a hard decision of allowing her come work with me or let her go and do what she likes.
I just want the best for my family, why cant she see that? I want the rumors about her to stop. I dont want her around people of that industry. I want my wife to be seen as decent…I also dont want her around anything that will trigger her addiction. I feel my head about to split cos I dont know what else to do to convince her.
Please advise me.
Anonymous
Photo Credit:gettyimages
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Bro, you understood the kind of woman she is before you married her. People do not adjust because you want them to, they do so because they want to.
You wife is not ready for change, let her be.
Look for nannies and daycare to enrol your children in, let them feel loved and not neglected. Try as much as you can to shield your children away from the kind of lifestyle you and your wife are into.
Sorry you are going through all of these in the hands of your beautiful wife but remember you knew her too well before marrying her right? To cut long story short, you have to allow her work with you ,that is if you still want your family just like you have said. If you know you are not hiding anything please let her work with you,you already knew everything about her before now. Set your rules and ensure she abides by it when she starts working with you. It is well and she has to stop sleeping around oooo because of infection.