Will Adoption Save My Already Collapsing Marriage-Pls Advise
Life can be very cruel. I grew up with my Aunty cos my mother lost her life in an accident when I was 3 years old. My father remarried and the new wife did not want me around. Even though my father provided for me, my aunty never showed much kindness to me. It was my old grandmother that showed me love but she passed on when I was 1 years old.
Growing up with my Aunty was hard. She also was unlucky in relationship. Her boyfriend whom she got pregnant for, married someone else. Her daughter is 3 years younger than me. She always treated her daughter better than me. Made me feel less pretty than her daughter but people always told me I am prettier.
That did not stop me from loving her daughter even though she kept trying to poison the girl’s mind towards me. The girl was a dullard: I used to coach her in math’s and English and help her write her examinations so she does not fail cos if she fails, her mother will beat me fir it.
I met my boyfriend in 300 level in University. We were so in love but when I got pregnant, I was so scared of what my Aunty would say that I went for an abortion. The abortion was badly done and I almost died. My womb was infected in the process. Surgery was done and my tubes had to be tied.
My boyfriend and I graduated and got good jobs and we got married. Our plan was to adopt a child since we both knew I may not be able to conceive after the abortion in school. My boyfriend vowed never to leave me even after he knew my condition.
God has blessed us and we are living in our house that we built and I have been able to bless my Aunty and sister too. I bought a car for my Aunty last year. I pay her rent and send her money every month.
My aunty’s daughter said she wants to go abroad after she graduates and me and my husband promised to help her. She applied to US but she was denied. She then said she wanted to go to canada. The money for canada is so much, so I told her she has to wait a little cos we just spent money on her failed US visa.
Unknown to me, this girl started pestering my husband for the money and throwing herself at him s*xually. I guess men will always be men, he gave her the money without telling me. She did not even tell me she applied for canadian visa. Only for her to tell my husband that she is pregnant.
My husband confessed to me 3 months ago and begged for my forgiveness. I know what my cousin is up to,she wants to take my husband from me…she and her mother…they have always been jealous of me even when all I have done is care for them. I cried and forgave my husband. I told him to allow my cousin have the baby but I will raise the baby as my own and she will have no place in my home….that was the condition.
My Aunty came to my home to fight me and told me to get out of my home since I cannot give birth for my husband…let her daughter move in since she is pregnant for him. My husband threw her out and warned them sternly to accept my conditions or do whatever they like with the pregnancy.
Now, my aunty wants to kill me. I dream alot of bad dreams every night. I fell sick suddenly …I been treating myself yet not getting well. Everyone is saying my Aunty is behind the sickness. Her daughter uses her pregnancy as excuse to call my husband and I suspect my husband is still sleeping with her.
I feel like leaving the marriage cos my health is deteriorating. My husband cares for me but now that he knows he has a baby on the way, he is saying I will always be his wife but he has to look after his child too. My husband said we should also start the adoption process and he will love our adopted child same way he will love his biological child.
With all that is going on,do you think its a good idea to adopt still? What if hubby does not love my own adopted child same way he loves his biological child? I dont want to regret bringing a child into this kind of toxic environment. I am pained at how much I have suffered and have no one to care for me…no mother…no father…no family…my Aunty and her daughter have taken over my husband…
Maybe I should leave…travel abroad and go to get treatment before these people kill me. Some say, I should stay and fight for my marriage…if I leave, my Aunty and her daughter will take over but if I stay and die from this sickness…will they not still take over? Please advise me on what to do…
Anonymous
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The heart of man is desperately wicked.
Sis, I’ll advise you fight for your marriage. It’s not an ordinary thing and so you can’t give up. I suspect your aunt has gone diabolical and you can only win in the spirit.
If you attend a Word based church, I suggest you talk to a Pastor, then go for Prayers and Fasting.
You can’t walk away and allow them to reap where they did not sow.
Pray. Turn to God and keep what rightfully belongs to you.
Nathaniel Bassey (an ordained minister) has an hallelujah challenge on instagram. It was laid in my spirit for you to join. If you let God take over, you’ll watch your enemies bow at your feet.
God bless you sis.
Honestly, your story is touching, the thing is when you know people’s attitude, don’t ever compromise on it, I guess you aunt’s daughter was staying with you or maybe she for close to your husband, your case is spiritual sister, you said this “dream alot of bad dreams every night. I fell sick suddenly …I been treating myself yet not getting well.” Pls seek spiritual help IMMEDIATELY, don’t let this wicked people take away your home and happiness, humans can be very wicked shaa. Pls sister seek spiritual help, you said you dont have any family members, what of friends, pls involve your friends, you can’t let it slide like this. Don’t adopt yet, you must be well and healthy first, your husband has failed you, he messed up, I can’t just understand how people these days love being dishonest and greedy. Seek spiritual help IMMEDIATELY sister, this is spiritual. GOD bless you sister. I am Akin.
Sis please try to start hallelujah challenge with pastor Nathaniel Bassey on Instagram it starts 11:59pm daily,please endeavour to do so with Faith and watch God take the wheel for you.people have gone through similar/worst cases and still won the battle.you too have testify,Do not leave your marriage for any demon as at now,indulge fully in prayer and God will conquer your enemies for you.have you not seen or heard women without womb giving birth,Nothing is impossible for God.It is well with you.
Am in total support akin,All what u need know is for u to go to God to fight ur battle for u, u can’t let them destroyed ur home .. There is nothing God can’t do u can’t still have ur own child ,let ur faith be stronger in God.. I wish u d best ,pls move closer to God in everything ! Is d key