Building a solid relationship entails more than just knowing your partner on the surface; you gotta dig deeper and deeper into each other’s lives to find ways you both can love each other beyond mere words. There are partners who can decode each other’s thoughts by mere looking at them, there are those who can tell their partner’s state of mind by hearing their voice and, there are those who can feel their partner’s heartbeat even from a thousand miles away. These levels didn’t just come up by mere happenstance; it took credible and tangible efforts from both partners to get to know each other beyond what they know already.
Here are some factors to consider when finding a partner that complements you in every way:
1. LIKES AND DISLIKES
What things do you like and dislike? Does your partner have same or similar likes and dislikes? Are the things you kick against what your partner will readily approve of or, are the things you’ll give a positive nod to the things your partner will frown at? If there’s any aspect of your relationship with your partner you should pay more attention to, THIS IS IT!
2. PERSONALITY TRAITS AND HABITS
There are partners who frown at scattered and scruffy places because they have this penchant for always putting things in order. They just can’t stand the sight of anything not put in its rightful place or, shifted out of position. There are partners who pay little or no attention to what their apartment looks like cos, to them, the most important thing is having a place to retire to at the end of the day. Now, imagine these 2 people as lovers – WAR! If you’re partner A and in love with partner B, there has to be some sort of balance between you two because, truth is, you both can’t ever be like each other. Partner A has to learn to match Partner B’s energy and, Partner B has to learn to adjust to Partner A’s standards. When you have a partner that’s willing to adjust and/or change their personality traits for the sake of the love you share, you have a soulmate right there.
3. SPENDING TIME TOGETHER
Personally, I’m a CHRONIC introvert and, I love my personal space a lot. Then, imagine me getting involved with a partner that’s the extroverted type and wants me to be just like him………. Trust me, that won’t work! This happens in most relationships where one partner expects the significant other to automatically adapt to their kind of lifestyle without first considering the other party. An introvert will naturally want to spend more time alone with his or her significant other while the extroverted type will always want to be on the carefree zone. Spending time with your partner will help you observe what he/she craves for, wants, desires and appreciate per time.
4. MORALS AND VALUES
We all come from different backgrounds where we were raised with different norms and values. Likewise, your partner was raised in an entirely different environment. You both have different perspectives as touching on various life issues and, for there to be a meeting point, you both have to sit down and draw out your forward-looking plan. If your partner’s values doesn’t, in any way, match yours or sit well with you, then, you two have no business being together.
5. EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL CONNECTION
As much as you should be with a partner that has almost or same morals and values as yours, being with a partner that you connect with both emotionally and psychologically is the high point. It’s not enough to be with a partner because its expected of you by family and society to be with one; be with a partner that can read you even when you’re silent.
6. RELIGION AND RELIGIOUS PERSPECTIVES
There are certain Christian denominations that are not permitted to get involved with and eventually marry brethren from other Christian denominations. If you’re a Christian and you find yourself in this charade with your partner, you both either have to reach a compromise or separate ASAP! You sure don’t want to be with a partner whom you’ll end up having conflicting issues with in the nearest future for flimsy reasons. Again, there’s a widely-accepted notion that a lady doesn’t have a particular church until she’s married and, immediately after marriage, she relocates to her husband’s church. If youre6a man here, don’t automatically assume that your lady will just move over to your church when you’ve not sat down to discuss about it. And, for the Christian brethren who are in a marriage-bound relationship with a Muslim, ensure that you’ve both decided on this and also seek wise counsel from trusted parties.
7. ANGER AND TEMPERAMENTAL MANAGEMENT
Before you venture further in your relationship, first ensure that you can cope with your partner’s temperaments. If it needs to be worked on, please, do. If you or your partner have to take anger management classes as recommended by a seasoned therapist, please, do. Anger beyond what you can contain shouldn’t be tolerated in a relationship so, ensure that you both are on the same page. People get upset for different reasons and, people also react to stuff differently too.
Apart from the love you both have for each other, compatibility shouldn’t be trifled with at all. Are you and your partner constantly dragging at each other for even minute matters? Do you never agree on anything? Are you always seeking to blame your partner for what he/she didn’t do wrong just because it makes you feel better? Do you have complex issues and feel threatened by your partner’s affiliations with other people? Then, it’s either you both come to an agreement and try to work things out or, you’re better off without each other. No form of complex or toxicity should be tolerated in any relationship; as long as you value your health and peace of mind.
9. RELATIONAL AND INTERPERSONAL ABILITIES
It’s one thing to have a partner who loves his/her personal space and another who just doesn’t know how to relate with people. Get you a partner who loves and respects you yet, respects the other people you have close to you; nuclear family members inclusive. Don’t shut your partner’s close peeps out for whatever reason; keep a healthy distance from them if need be but, be respectful and kind albeit.