Married As A Virgin, Married For Love Yet…..
It’s 2.47 am here but I can’t sleep, I hardly sleep these days.
My whole world is crumbling.
I have been a regular guest here for awhile now but had to register this morning, I need somewhere to pour out my heart, somewhere to dump my frustrations.
More From Lively Stones
- 33 Years Of Virginity But One Year Of Horrible Marriage & Abuse -Please Advise
- How I Lost My Virginity After Three Years Of Engagement & Waiting
- Please Advise -I Wanted To Marry A Virgin But I Found Something Better
I came from a good, not so rich home but my parents were so hardworking. I had a good moral upbringing, went to tertiary institution and graduated with good grades.
While in school, I never had a boy friend though I had a lot of “chykers”, never went clubbing, didn’t socialize much.
Few months to the end of my NYSC, I met my husband. We got talking and boom, I fell in love with him. He is my ideal man….he doesn’t drink nor smoke, gentle and soft spoken.
Never miss a story — subscribe to Lively Stones Relationship Blog PUSH NOTIFICATION for daily Post to stay up-to-date on the best of what LIVELY STONES has to offer, from juicy celebrity relationship news, romantic articles to compelling true life stories.
He wasn’t earning much but it didn’t bother me. I believe in working hard and growing with my man.
Now my regrets…
* The “angel” I married has refused to get a job after losing the last one during COVID 19.
More From Lively Stones: Covid-19 Pandemic: My Boyfriend Abandoned Me When I Needed Him Most
He said he can never work in a private company again. His target is multinationals.
I encouraged him to pick up a job with private company while hoping for a bigger fish at least to support in taking care of the needs at home but he said no.
I’m left with taking care of our 3 kids, feeding, school fees and virtually every need at home. All he does is press phone, gamble and sleep.
Now our rent is due, no money.
I married as a virgin, married for love and not money, work my ass off, doing so many side hustle to shoulder the expenses at home. I’m tired. I regret all these.
When I see my “unserious” classmates on social media and sometimes offline, I weep. See them living large. I thought all the sacrifices I made way back will pay off now.
I have made up my mind that if he doesn’t fix the rent, I will move back to my parent’s house.
Kindly feel free to advise or bash me. Tankio
Source
For more Lively Stones Relationship Blog Stories and articles, make sure to subscribe to our PUSH Notification
Share this
You don’t need to go back to your father’s house because you are the one taking care of the family because so many women do so but pretend. Forget what you see in social media. Most of themna scam.dontlistem to people that wl tell you if it’s me, this is what I will do because when it is there turn you will be disappointed they turn the other way. Face your marriage and love the man.provided he is not beating you orhabingsodw chicks to spend you money upon
There are so many ways to tackle this situation… some of which includes
1) Playing gospel messages to help him overcome rejection, depression, self pity etc. and messages that inspire hope.
2) Speaking in confidence with a few of those he respects and listens to maybe his Parents, elder siblings, Pastor, good close male friend?
3) Best to start of with praying for him, asking the Holy Spirit to grant you utterance, take a hold of his heart and speaking with him gently, showing him the expenses and your income for him to reason.
4) Another is seeing if any of his family members is willing to support with the rent for now.
5) Yet another is taking it as one’s cross. While praying and speaking with him, finding more ways to foot all the bills of the home this maybe how you’ll become very rich, some ladies found themselves in similar shoes and this was what birthed a CEO etc. in them, you may take a loan if you can pay back gradually to sort out the rent too.
6) If you have come to your wits end, moving back to your fathers house is also an option but could be after you’ve tried everything else. Your absence and no roof over his head may be the wake up call he needs to get his act together, look for a job even if it’s not the ideal multinational, get some wages for both of you to walk together to secure another accommodation.
It also provides the opportunity for your parents to give some conditions he should agree to before they release you again, in the presence of his family ie. work and stop gambling.
Have you thought about where you would store all your properties, the prices of houses may be higher than the one you are in if you loose this one, moving to your Parents home may involve changing your children’s school etc.
All the best
I’m not a legal expert, but I can offer some general suggestions for dealing with a situation where your spouse is struggling with gambling addiction and unemployment. It’s important to approach this situation with care, as every individual and relationship is unique. Here are a few things I believe u can try
Try having an open communication with Ur spouse I mean Ur husband , Express your concerns and feelings to your husband in a calm and do not be confrontational about it. Tell him how his gambling addiction and unemployment are affecting you and the family. Encourage him to seek professional help and support.
2. Set boundaries to him , Consider setting boundaries to protect yourself and any children involved. This may involve establishing limits on access to finances or certain aspects of your shared life until your husband seeks help and makes positive changes.
3. Seek support for yourself: Dealing with a spouse’s (Ur husband) addiction and unemployment can be emotionally draining. Consider joining support groups for individuals affected by addiction or seeking therapy to help navigate your own emotions and develop coping strategies.
Remember, every situation is unique, and it’s crucial to make decisions that prioritize your safety and well-being. Seeking advice from addiction specialists or therapists can provide you with personalized guidance tailored to your specific situation.
My dear poster Was there a mutual discussion and understanding in which you consented to be the sole breadwinner here?
Or was this something they just surprised you with and dumped onto you?
If this is something that you agreed to at some point, and you’re not able to continue doing so because it’s breaking you, then it’s time to renegotiate that relationship contract.
This person is your life partner, and if they love and respect you as much as they claim to, then they’ll step up and handle their share of life expenses.
Alternatively, if this was absolutely not agreed upon and they’ve just decided that they don’t want to work, then you need to make it clear that this isn’t acceptable.
State unequivocally that you never signed on for this, and that they’re treating you as a slave rather than an equal.
Dear poster,I feel your pain,a man should take responsibility of certain needs in the house but some people will just be lazy,idle and good for nothing.
If it’s possible for you to move back you to your parent’s house,please do. It’s well
Get someone that can talk to him from his own family.