My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. He is a sweet man. I fell in love with his strong sense of professionalism and integrity. The only issue I have with him is the fact that whenever we have issues,he keeps malice with me.
I really can stand anything in a relationship but when a man gives me the silent treatment,it really pisses me off. I have tried to explain to him that communication in relationship is important. I want us to always find a way to communicate no matter how upset we get.
However,my man can go on for a full week,sometimes,almost two weeks without speaking to me. He wont pick up my call or reply my sms. I got very frustrated and told him if he does not get his sh*t together,I will leave.He then said something that really hurt me.
My man,whom I love with my whole world called me a selfish b*tch who does not know how to apologize when I am wrong. That hes silence is to see if I will apologize to him. See,I am the biggest apologist in the world. I can apologize for Africa. In fact,I think that is why he is always keeping malice with me,cos he knows I will keep apologizing.
I decided to let him be for like a month. I told him I needed some space. He said fine.That hurt me too cos he did not even try to fight for our love. Well, I told myself I deserve a man who will love me enough not to let me go.
That was two months ago. We did not speak for a month before the lock down began. I was indoors the first few days,no word from my man. One day,my generator broke down and my mechanic couldn’t come because of the lock down. I was tempted to call my boyfriend to come and help but I did not.
My neighbor noticed my apartment was in darkness and asked me what happened. When I explained to him,he offered to try and help.I have always known this neighbor of mine. Nice looking guy. He tried all he could but the gen refused to come up. He is also single.
This neighbor offered to have me spend time in his apartment cos he did not want me to be bored. I knew he could be trying to flirt but I did not mind cos I was not going to be in a house with no light for days. We began spending time together. I knew when the flirting started but I needed the attention so I did not stop him.
It may sound too fast but I am quite happy for the first time in months. It was easy to chat and be myself around my neighbor. He also broke up with his girlfriend a few months ago. This guy is fun,makes me laugh and I think I really like him. He has made this lock down quite enjoyable for me.
And just when the fun was getting so good,my boyfriend calls me. After two whole months. He is now trying for us to get back but its like being with this new guy has made me realize that my boyfriend has a serious character flaw that might make being married to him be a huge mistake for me.
I told him there was someone else . I cannot be in a relationship with a malice keeper. He begged and begged and showed up in my place begging. Promising to change,to never hurt me or keep malice with him. I told him to give me some time to think. He said 36 hours. He wants my answer in 36 hours.
While I know that the romance with my neighbor is too sudden to determine whether we will have a future,but it has made me realize that I may have to put up with my boyfriend’s attitude,if he is not able to really change.
I discussed with my friend,she says the devil I know is better than the angel I dont know. She thinks I am only hesitating cos of this new guy. I really like this new guy…my neighbor. I know he likes me too cos he says he believes destiny made both of us single at the same time.
I need your advise. Should I give my boyfriend a chance. Do you think he will be able to really change…or should I pursue this new found happiness?
Anonymous Post
Photo Credit:Treecards
Please, give your boyfriend another chance and see if he is really willing to change. if he doesn’t, take time out to heal and study your neighbor (though i don’t support Compound love). In Addition, Do not let the boredom of this Lock down becloud your judgement.
Hello,
To be frank,someone who keeps malice or gives the silent treatment for a long time in a relationship is a red flag. A serious red flag and it gets worse with marriage.
My take: take everything slow: if you want to give your boyfriend another chance,you have to watch him for another 6-8 months or even a year to see if he has changed. If you do not have that kind of patience,let him go.
People who keep malice are not quick to forgive and they always see themselves as better than others. That is almost Narcissistic.
As for this new guy…just be friends with him. Friends without benefits…its too early to know his true intentions. If you are not with your guy anymore…you can give this new one a couple of months to observe before you decide.
As for your boyfriend…he has some serious self development to carry out on himself before he can be in any successful relationship.
Cheers.
For ur boyfriend to keep quiet for two whole month he has problem even if he says he has changed when you marry..it will become worst oo.. so I wont advise you go back but as for the neighbour, I will advise you take things so slow.. he might look like an angel but not an angel so dont rush at all..
P.s
The fact that he even gave you 36 hours to decide speaks very much of his Narcissistic character….I would be rushing back to such a man
The thing is ur boyfriend character is not good enough but u know everybody has there own imperfections but we tend to live with some flaws Cox of love, it Will be better to let ur boyfriend go if you know u can’t live with his imperfections, don’t force urself to live with his flaws pls, let him look for who will live with it and u look for a better man for u but seriously there is no perfect man, that’s why I use the word better
And my sis I won’t say u should go for ur neighbor Cox of the lock down stuff, don’t let boredom make u think he is the real guy, study the guy first pls b4 u start a relationship with him
But I will like u to pray over it and I believe good will make a good choice for you.
All the best sis
Hello woman… My own advice is somehow…. But think about it well then you will see the truth…. Thanks
Don’t leave him please remember why you start… It’s better he showed up now than after marriage… He developed the attitude for you. What you need to do is counseling for both of you. A lot of man don’t understand their woman, they just pretend. please don’t leave him, Rather teach him what he needs to know about you. If you leave him and go to your neighbor…. Hmmmmmm do you know the meaning of this….. In every human there is something called genda differences. Simply means as each character….. Don’t leave him. He loves you and think deaply and comes back to you…. Don’t leave him. Let him realized how much you feel when issue appens…….
All because of lock down, you quickly gave yourself to a man just to kill the thought of your boyfriend. Let me tell you; your boyfriend is right for calling you a, bitch and how, am i sure you know how to apologize perfectly when you have actually portray yourself as a bitch to a stranger entire called neighbor.
Don’t ever return to a man who keeps malice for as long as a week. Don’t. You will see hell when you finally get married to him. For your neighbour, keep things low. Maybe it’s boredom that’s making you think you like him. Give him lots of time. Cheers.
Take things slow. You may be on a rebound with that your neighbor because of what your guys did. So do not hurt that your neighbor. Pull out now and give ur guy a chance
After 2months??? Who does that?? Think about what truly is important to you and make your decision. Jumping into a relationship with your neighbour for me is not healthy now,give yourself time. Take your time and think things over…