My Friend Is Rejecting True Love -Why Is She Unlucky With Men?
Hello,
My best friend and I are the same age. We are both 38 years old. I am married with 3 children but she has not been lucky in relationship. She has a son from way back in University when she got pregnant for a lecturer that she thought would marry her.
In fact, I think she dated him for marks cos she is not that bright. No shade but she says it sometimes. But this lecturer did not marry her. The boy is with her mother. She dated several men that like her cos she’s pretty and s*xy but once they find out she has a child, they vanish.
My friend dated a guy for 4 years. They were such a lovely couple and everyone thought this was the guy. But she did not tell him she has a child cos she didn’t want him to leave her but he found out in the fourth year and he left her even after all the begging and crying and explanation.
So after that heart break, my friend has not been really dating. She shunned men most times. I been praying for her and all. So last year, this guy comes around and he treats her nice but she kept rejecting him cos she was like, he too will just use her and leave again.
However, this guy is different. She told him she has a son of about 11 years and this guy still stayed. In fact, he met the guy and the entire family and friends like him. He is godly and has been a very good influence on her.
The about 3 months ago, my friend started to behave strangely. Her guy called me and told me that she has been fighting him over flimsy issues and he is wondering that is coming from. That they quarrel more and she wont pick up his call and all that.
I called my friend to talk to her…I asked her what happened and she says nothing. So why the quarrels, she says she will change. But weeks after, they are still arguing and I ask her if she wants this guy to leave her cos she is 38 and behaving like a teenager will make him loose interest: and she said something shocking….
My friend said: he should leave if he wants to. That was when I knew something was wrong. I insisted and told her I was not letting her go without finding out what the issue was. Finally she said her ex was back and wanted her back. Can you imagine? Her ex that she dated for four years and he dumped her and ran off with another woman when he found out she had a child?
I have been asking her why she wants to go back to an ex that made her swear off men for almost 5 years? An ex that quickly started seeing someone else shortly after their breakup..an ex that was with her without proposing for 4 years?
Then my friend looked at me and said: he knows how to s*x me well. This new guy is an average in bed but my ex is an expert in bed!…like what?!!…Her current boyfriend is doing everything to beg her to sort things with her. Their wedding introduction was supposed to be end of this month but my friend has broken up with her man and gone back to her ex.
Please who did this to my friend? Her mother is crying that they don’t want her daughter to be happy in life cos she has been unlucky in love for so long. This is the first time a serious and good man will come for her..yet she is going back to her vomit….I do not know what else to do…we, her family have been praying and begging her to reconsider and accept this good man before he gives up and she looses him.
Yet, my friend is running after p*nis. Please what can I do? Is not that this her new guy is not good in bed…but the ex is better…according to her o…is this life all about s*x? My friend is clearly bewitched….this is not the friend I have known for more than 20 years…I need advise…cos something is definitely wrong…I know it.
Please advise her…advise me…how can I help her open her eyes before its too late?
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Photo Credit:The Guardian Nigeria
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Going back to an ex that left her for long it’s a wrong decision, he might do it again. She should forget about her ex and focus on the new guy. He can improve in that area if thats why she is going back.
Hello,
Truly all you can do is pray for your friend. She is an adult and she should be ready to live with the consequences of her decision if she would not take advise.
Just pray for her…she is going to need it.
Going back to her ex is a decision she might regret but you cannot force anyone to love anyone.
Wish her all the best.
How do you know the new man is not vomit to her? In fact, you seem to like this new guy, despite being married yourself? Envious much? I can only imagine what YOUR husband would think knowing if you are envying this other man. With that said, as for your friend, ultimately, I do feel bad for her having the father of her child abandon them, but you know what, she has more dignity and courage to want to patch things up with her child’s father than by brushing him off like a coward and bagging some eager guy trying to get into her pants. As for the new guy, if he genuinely is godly, he will encourage her to go back to the father of her child and wish her peace. That is what any truly godly decent man would do. So for your friend, may the heart of her child’s father be softened and repent of his actions and reunite his family again. As for the other guy, hopefully, he will leave her in peace and he can either embrace permanent singlehood, if he chooses, OR he can go off and find other women to hit on.