My Girlfriend Broke My Heart Because I Want To Follow My Dreams-Pls Advise
Good evening mama,
I have been a follower of lively stones for a while. I got into a relationship with this beautiful lady two years ago. I also introduced her to lively stones. I can say we are both very much in love and to be honest, I would really love to make an honest woman out of her. I do not want to just date and dump her.
Ever since, I made my intention known to her but things have not just picked up for me. I studied Biochemistry in school but I have always wanted to be an entertainer: a comedian actually. I told my babe and she supported me. But since we been together, things have not been really too good for me financially.
I do Instagram skits and all. I try to look for shows to be booked but things are still not stable. Now, my girl is beginning to get restless, asking me where is our relationship heading to, that its almost two years. I reminded her that its towards marriage but she has to be patient.
Now, my girl and her parents are beginning to make me have second thoughts. The parents are telling here that being a comedian is not a career a serious family man should have …so now, my girl wants me to have a job until I blow. You see, I tried to work before in a company but it will not afford me the opportunity to build my craft so I quit.
My girl putting pressure on me is not something I enjoy. So, I told her if she cannot wait for me to blow, she can decide to leave. She became emotional, started to cry and say I am insensitive, after giving me two years of her life. So, I apologized to her and old her to believe in me cos this is my dream. I have always wanted to be a comedian from childhood.
After a while, I started noticing that she is becoming withdrawn. I asked her what is wrong, that is it the issue of she cannot wait again? She said no o. Just that she is under pressure to get married. That she is 27. She wants to be married before 29 or 30. I told her to have faith…things can change before that time.
To God who made me, this has made me work harder than ever, I want to marry this girl…I want to prove her parents wrong. There are many successful comedians in this country and even abroad and I will soon be one of them. I swear, my name will be a household name one day.
My girl continued to be withdrawn, I try to stay focused. Until I decided to let her be. I would call sometimes, she will not pick and say she is working, busy or she did not see the call. I then told her I was travelling to Enugu for a gig. Through out the time I was away, she did not even call and I did not call.
I began to suspect things were not ok. I asked my flat mate to help me go to her place on Sunday evening. She does not go out on Sunday evenings except she is at my place. My flat mate went and told me he asked for her pretending to be an old school friend and was told she was not around.
I begged my flat mate to wait to see when she will be back and he found out that she came back around 11.20pm. I then stayed back another week, came back on Saturday, spied on her on Sunday and followed her to when she stepped out on Sunday afternoon till she stopped at a restaurant. I gave her a few minutes before confronting her where she was sited with a man.
After waling into them, she was like she saw a ghost. I did not say a word, I just left and went home. I cried when I got home. Like two hours later, she was at my door, begging. I told her its fine…I understand…she said she was carried away and wants me to forgive her. I told her its better we go our separate ways.
Since then, she has been begging me but I am finding it hard to forgive cos I know she loves me but she has doubts about me making it as a comedian. And secondly, I asked her if she slept with the guy but she said no, but they kissed. I know my girl, she loves s*x (sorry mama, I know you don’t like s*x before marriage but this is someone I truly believed was going to be my wife).
Like I said, my girl likes s*x too much, she used to tell me that one of the things that made her fall in love with me is the fact that I know how to please a woman s8xually. So, if she is not sleeping with me, no way she is not sleeping with that dude. I feel let down. I feel she doses not believe in me. I feel can’t trust her yet my heart cannot stop thinking about her.
How do I move on from this relationship. Its making me sad and unable to focus on making my jokes. Heartbreak is real mama. Or should I forgive her, do you think she can really change? Please mama and the house, advise your boy.
Anonymous Lively Stones Whatsapp Member
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Your girlfriend is inpatient and desperate to get married. She does not believe in your career and dream, you are so keen on making it big out of your comedy career but you also have to put her in consideration as well. You should understand that any woman that passes the age of 25 is already trying to settle down because of what society will say. Call her and know if she can be patient with you,if she cannot please free her and go ahead with your career. It is better she goes than waiting and at the same time grumbling ,which will not make you happy and will also not make you concentrate on your goal.
You said this”she used to tell me that one of the things that made her fall in love with me is the fact that I know how to please a woman s8xually”…no wonder she can’t keep herself, must you have S.e.x before marriage. Can’t you just wait to marry. Both of you are still childish. You need to grow up and do the right thing. Follow your dream hard and flee fornication. GOD bless man
Brother free this babe and focus on your career. She is too much in a hurry to marry that she will go with the next available guy that is ready to marry her.
She will keep begging you but how sure are you that she will be committed to supporting your dreams in the future?
Plus you are not financially stable to handle any solid relationship seeing that your comedy is your only source of income and in view of that you can’t commit to marriage at this stage. Keeping a lady in a marriageable age for two years is quite long. Plan yourself and if possible look for extra source of income that you can do along side your comedy ( it is very possible)
My brother end the relationship and put 100% focus on your hustle. When you become successful in your chosen path, the right lady will come (your ex might even come back again at that time if her own new relationship didn’t go well too)
Pls free the lady, you are holding her down. Let her get married Abeg. You are not ready. With the way you narrated your plight, it seems you plan to make it first in your career financially before getting married. So even if you should accept her back, what if it took you 2-5 years to later succeed, do you think she will wait till that time? Abeg o free her. Love is good but love doesn’t solve all things.
Ignore anything concerning love or serious relationship for now. Just make sure you are keeping your lady friends as close friends and nothing else. when you are now ready to settle down, you can then decide to turn one of the beautiful friendship into a blissful relationship.
My old man used to say something regularly to me in my single phase of life – “never promise marriage or commitment to a lady you are dating until when you know you are capable of doing so”.
And another thing that people say is – “if she is not your wife, then she is free to enjoy her life with other guys until when she is married”. This other advise seems wrong and bad but it is actually true for people still living in the world (for the unbelievers). You are having S.e.x as unbelievers, so do you think she will have it alone with you when she is not yet sure if you will be the one she will marry eventually. Just like the way you are having S.e.x with her because you are only seeing her as the only person you love and want to marry, she is also seeing you and other guys she loves, as people she wants to marry when they are financially ready, so she will keep sleeping with those guys too.
I’m talking too much already. I could go on and on, explaining why you shouldn’t keep holding her back with your marriage desires for her when you are not yet ready for it. So let me just end it here.
For a better fruition in your comedian hustle, leave girls matter alone and put more focus into God (become born again) and the hustle.
Follow this last advise and thank me later. Like minds attract like minds. Shalom.
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