My Mother Rejected My Wife & My Children Because Of Hebrew Women Saga
Good day,
I have an issue, please advise me. The issue is between my mother and my wife and I dont know what to do. As the only son from a family of six,my mother has not spoken to my wife in the last 6 years. I feel bad and I don’t know what to do.
It all started six years ago. My wife was pregnant with our first child. I remember how excited my mother was to have grandchildren from her son. But during a conversation with my pregnant wife then,my wife mentioned that she was going to give birth through caesarian birth.
My mother belongs to a church where she has been a mother in Zion for more than 30 years and that church is totally against giving birth by CS. They preach that women should give birth like the Hebrew women. So when my wife mentioned her intentions to give birth through CS,my mother was totally against it.
My wife did not present it well …in my opinion. There was no need for her to mention how she was having her baby to my mother. In her defense, she said she never knew my mom would object. And that frankly speaking, its not my mother’s business how she gives birth.
My mother did not take kindly to that as she said my wife does not respect her opinion. That she has been fasting and praying for my wife to give birth without CS. My wife took it in another way…she actually said some things like: why would my mother insist on natural birth…that maybe my mother wanted her to die giving birth.
Both women became suspicious of each other and I tried my best to stay out of their wahala. My mother said all kinds of things to my wife and my wife too said some things. I cautioned my wife but she accused me of taking sides with my mother, so I tried to stay out of it.
However, when my wife gave birth…through CS of course, my mother never called to congratulate us and has never acknowledged my wife or my children since then. My wife gave birth to our second and third child through CS. And my mother has never said a word to my wife and my wife after trying to talk to my mother without success…finally gave up.
So its been six years. I call my mother but she does not want to talk about my children. She does not want to see them. That breaks my heart and I was even angry with her for taking this too far but I miss my mother and I wish this nonsense can be resolved.
I spoke to other family members. They have advised that we be patient with Mama. That with time, she will come to accept my children. I know she is old school and her kind of Christianity is a bit odd but she is my mother and I wish for her to be grandma to my children…the way she is to my sisters children.
Do you know that my mother has sworn never to accept my children or my wife? What else should I do? Its been six years…is this how it will be for the rest of our lives? I have tried to bring the children to visit her but soon as she saw us, she got up and left. I was upset. I even began to think that there was more to this.
Before my wife got pregnant…she never had issues with me or my wife. Its very hard to process that she has rejected my children cos of her spiritual beliefs. Maybe also cos my wife and her disagreed. She told everyone that my wife disrespected her and called her a witch.
My wife never called her a witch but she was unhappy that Mama insisted on natural birth and she mentioned that Mama may have ulterior motives for that. Women…why cant things be simple between them? These two women mean the whole world to me…how do I get them to reconcile and how do I get my mother to accept my children?
Four months ago, I succeeded in begging my wife to beg mama. She did again but my Mama is as stubborn as a mule. Mama insulted my wife and now my wife has said she will not try anymore. What do I do….please advise me.
Anonymous
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Please go and meet Mama Pastor so that the issue can be resolve .
Thank you
Wow! Just wow! I don’t even know what to say
Is your mom a Christian? I don’t understand at all. Is it the belief of the sect she belongs to, or her own personal belief? If it’s from the sect she belongs to, I’ll advise you go and see their leader or head to tell him/her what is happening. If they
believe in God, am sure they should preach forgiveness and love. Your wife has apologized, she refused to forgive, and your poor kids who expect grandma to love them, she has refused to even speak to. Her own grandchildren! Na wah oo
Hello,
This is dicey. Mama is your mama…no one can change that but this situation is not healthy.
Given…mistakes may have been made…maybe its more about how wifey disagreed with her than the fact that they had different opinions on a matter. She is not just old school…she has been blinded by religious myths.
What I find hard to process is why she wont forgive and accept her grandchildren.
I think you should let her be for now. Keep showing her love…your wife too should keep showing her love.
If she wants nothing to do with your children…too bad…she is missing out on time she could have spent with the kids…she is growing older…forgiveness is key.
Pray for her…and let her be. Let her, in her own time…do not stress about it…you and our wife have done what you can do…let her try too.
Get someone in her church or a Gynecologist to explain the CS birthing process to her.
Just pray she realizes her mistake before its too late.
In the meantime…pray for her…show her love and be patient.
You truly cannot force anyone to love or accept you…maybe if time permits…she will finally see her wrong and make things right.
God bless
Go nd meet ur mother’s Pastor,,,he alone can correct that notion
He knows what he inculcated in his members or member so he alone can change that fact that there’s nothing wrong with giving birth through cesarian section
I had been in similar situations.Just take everything to God,bear no grudges ,call her always and let your wife call her too.Na God go dey help us for all this situations because we have no wisdom of our own.Even me na so my mother in-law say I don call her witch.exactly the way yours is now,but different scenarios
Hello my dear. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am so sorry for saying this but your mom is a terrible creature. Why doesn’t she want to forgive your wife. That reason of giving birth by CS is only an excuse for her hatred to your wife. Wonders will never cease to happen. Hmmmm she calls herself a Christian? I don’t talk to God but I am sure some people are church members but they will never enter the heaven because they king their serve confused them. God is God and he is love. Remind your mother that God is love and those with hatred will never cross heaven’s doors. My dear family is not by blood don’t be deceived. I know a mother can’t be replaced but if your mother doesn’t accept your kids how sure are you that she loves you? The truth is bitter but better some women give birth but they don’t deserve to be mothers. I am so sorry don’t be shocked by my opinion about your mother’s behavior. I don’t like sugarcoating things when it comes to love and hate. Listen. Take your time and pray for her coz the devil in her is working seriously. You and your wife did the best so leave the rest in the hands of God. I wish you well and I hope love will defeat the darkness in your mom.