Please ma, I need your advise.My name is Enem (Not real name). I met this man last year. At a restaurant. He flirted with me and I was really attracted to him because he was so good looking. We exchanged numbers and became very friendly. By the end of the month,we were seeing each other.
We would go out and spend time in my place.I found myself falling in love with him so much that I let my guard down. Usually,I like to get to know a guy very well before falling for them but I was hopelessly falling for this man. He is so hot and s*xy. I couldn’t help myself.
The first time we made love was less than 2 months after we started seeing each other. That was when he told me that he was just recently separated from his wife. I was shocked and devastated. I wanted to break it off immediately because he said they were separated…not even divorced.
Now I understood why he never invited me to his house. I broke up and told him to forget about me until he was properly divorced. I stopped taking his calls but he would never leave me alone. He would call and beg and text and come to my place even though I refused to see him.
He eventually stopped bothering me. I tried to forget about him too. It was not easy. My birthday came and he did something so romantic. He sent me flowers,cake and some very expensive gifts. He left a note asking me to give him a second chance and to believe in him. He said how much he misses me and how I changed his life.
I called him to say thank you and he begged me to come see him. Note,he has never invited me to his house before. I made up my mind to surprise him. Even if it was one last time. He sent me his address and I went to see him. We ended up having a really nice time. I know I was going back on my word but I was so struck by love.
He gave me a key to his place and I spent every other night in his house. Sometimes he came to mine. When I asked him what happened with him and his wife, he said his wife cheated with her boss and got pregnant for him. They were married for 4 years,no child and she cheated and got pregnant for her boss.
The wife tried to pin the pregnancy on him but he took a DNA test because he suspected the wife and it turned out the child was not his. He filed for a divorce but the court were yet to hear their case.
His confession about his wife made me relax…knowing I am not the one trying to break another woman’s home. So,everything has been going well until I got a WhatsApp text from his wife telling me to leave her husband alone. That he has been married before and divorced. That he will divorce me too because he is looking for a child from any woman who will get pregnant for him.
That if I do not get pregnant,he will divorce me. That was why she got pregnant for her boss. That she alone knows her husband’s secret. That no woman can bear a child for him.
That really disturbed me. I showed him the message and he said she was only trying to get into my head. That he was married traditionally once but they broke up amicably. That he has done several tests and he knows there is nothing wrong with him. He even said if there is anything,he is ready to try IVF and even adoption if necessary. That also out my mind to rest a bit but when I told my mother,she told me that marriage is not for me.
My mother believes the wife and says I should not trust him. That he was too quick to even suggest adoption.I love my man. But my mother and his wife’s warning sometimes disturbs me. Something tells me to end this before its too late. But I also feel I can do this because I truly love him.
Please what should I do?
Anonymous Lively Stones WhatsApp Member
Photo Credit:blackandmarriedwithkids
One, you need to engage the man in a Frank talk. He has to tell you everything, holding nothing back. You should also try going for a separate fertility test with him in a facility you can trust to demystify his estranged wife’s claims. But you will still need to follow your mind regardless of the outcome. You are already in love. IVF and adoption are good options in any case as long as you both agreed to it. His capacity for moral goodness should also be thoroughly investigated. His records of divorce is a cause for worry. I hope you don’t join the list in the end. It is reason you have to be thorough in your vetting of him and suspend emotions totally. What you objectively find out will help your decision. I wish you all the best.
U need to follow ur heart on this mata,sit down n read that woman’s story,u would see that her story is twisted, if she says that her husband is looking for who will get pregnant for him,y didn’t she get pregnant after 4yrs of marriage? If her husband is looking for someone to pregnant for her husband? Y did she get pregnant for her boss instead of her husband ? This story is not matching up at all with what man said, or she is just trying to make sure that her husband doesn’t get on with any other woman. N if the man say he can go to anywhere to do any kind of test to prove that what his wife is say is a lie it then means that he is sincere n serious. N if u think u can stay with him,then good luck n God bless you
You can go ahead with him for the test to allay your fears..but it must be your own hospital..if you love your man then support him but be very sensitive and smart too.. good luck.
Follow your mind that’s my advice
Hello,
That your man is divorced twice does not mean he will divorce you if you marry him.
However, this calls for proper investigations on your part. Do not be quick to marry him. Fine, he has agreed to adoption and other things…that is cool.
But to make sure he is not deceiving you…have him take a fertility test before you get married. That is…if it really bothers you.
Also,descreetly find out from the first wife what happened. (You do not be the one to find out…someone can do it for you)
Remember to pray about it and let God guide you. Follow your gut feeling. In the end…only time will tell who he really is.
Do not be overly afraid…accept him for who he is and do your personal findings to corroborate his claims.
If you find out he is not what he says he is,then you know what to do.
Be smart….be careful!
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