Good evening ma,
Please I need advise from older married people in our group. I am very frustrated with my husband even though I love him so much. I feel like he does not show care or he does not want to show care only when he wants to and this is gradually killing me.
We have been married for three years and we have a son. He is a good father but not much of a good husband. Why do I say this? My husband knows how to really annoy me. He picks up a fight over small things like if he gets back from work and I dont run fast enough to open the gate for him.
I work as a Teacher so I get back from work before him. He thinks my job is less important than his. What he does not appreciate is the fact that even though our official closing time is 3pm,I do not get home until 5pm. Before I settle in,do my lesson notes,take care of my son and prepare the meal,its almost like 7pm.
So my job is exhausting. So,most times,I sit close to the door so I can hear when he rings the bell. But he always come in a foul mood. Maybe I went to pick up my son when he rang the bell,he goes like: do you want me to break down the door before you open? I told him to get his own key because I feel he is being unreasonable but he only told me I was lazy.
Yes…he called me lazy. I hate it when he calls me derogatory names too. Sometimes,I would call him at work,he wont pick because he said he is busy. But if he calls me and I do not pick at work,he comes home fuming.
There are many more stupid things that he does that I feel like he should stop being petty and grow up. But that is not the most annoying part. The most annoying part is that,as he does all these petty stuff that annoys me,when he realize he is wrong,he will never apologize to me.
However,if I am the one that is wrong,I am very quick to apologize and he even makes sure I tell him sorry for sometimes that he is keeping malice with me and when I cannot take it anymore,I go and beg him to have s8x with me. That is the only apology he accepts. Hmm…I am tired.
Do you know from fuming at me for one petty thing,the next thing he goes for is s*x. And you know,his attitude ruins my s*x mood most times. Initially,that would make me resist him but I found out that the more I resist him,he gets more furious and sometimes he will not speak to me for days.
All these his childish attitude is getting to me and I do not know how long I can keep up with this. I mentioned to him that we need to work on our communication but he says there is nothing wrong with our communication. He is so full of himself that he does not thing he is doing anything wrong.
Our marriage is just 3 years but yet I feel like I am not enjoying it…I feel like I am enduring it. I think I now understand why people cheat on their spouses. Who would want to live in a marriage that is one sided? I would never cheat but I am really fed up…I need help.
The only time me and my husband get along is during s*x. I feel like that is the only thing he wants from me. Like I said,I tried to resist him but he always seduces me,he knows how to get me…but if I even try when he does not speak to me for days,I also feel so horny,I end up begging him for s*x. This is not healthy. I do not know what else to do?
A friend of mine says that most men do not like to apologize or vocalize their feelings…that by making advances for s*x,that is my husband’s way of saying he loves me…Is this really how marriage is?
I want us to talk about how we both feel…to discuss like adults…not just reacting or fighting over small things and then bottle it up…only to have s*x like rabbits and move on like everything is ok when its not ok…
Am I being paranoid? I need ya”ll to advise me before I loose it. I love s*x with my husband…he knows how to make me wet and forget he annoyed me or we have issues but soon after the act….I feel bad all over again and this has been hapening since we got married…what can I do about this…please advise and keep me anonymous.
Anonymous Lively Stones Telegram Member
It’s always an issue when one knows he is wrong but refuses to admit.
Madam is obvious this man is having attitudinal problem, he needs to be council,he is not treating you right and there is no justification for it,because if he claims to find it to communicate why is that he is finding it easy to quarrel over little issues? You both really need a counseling from a shrink,and be prayerful because this attitude he is giving you can make the marriage irritate you,but fight for your marriage by inviting him to meet a councillor, it is well.
Sorry about what’s happening but I think you both need to see a therapist otherwise it will get to a state both of you won’t like.. Don’t allow the devil have any space in your marriage.. And since communication is an important factor to you then to communicate and forebear one another…
Your husband is still a baby. You both need to see a counselor since he sees nothing wrong with his actions
Your husband needs to see a marriage counselor. He is still a baby as far as marriage is concerned. The question is, will he agree to go? Because, it is until you realize you have a problem, that you will seek for solution.
In the interim, you can talk to him by taking advantage of the one thing that you both seem to agree on. Sex.
When he makes you sad and comes asking for s*x, seize the opportunity to speak your mind to him. Tell him how unhappy you in the marriage, tearfully tell him your pains. Don’t allow your own desire to cloud your mind, because you know that once the show is over, he goes back to square one. So, make use of his desire at that time, and afterwards, still give him what he wants. I believe, he will come around.
Please u guys need to see a therapist .
Your husband is still a baby who needs to grow up. Pray about it and convince him to see a counselor with you.
I strongly feel you noticed this behaviour of your husband during courtship but you ignored it.
He is a grown man and he knows what he is doing. He was raised that way and a wife is not going to change him.
My only advise is: change your way of communicating with him. Find out his happy moments and try and chip in your displeasure.
You can also speak to someone who he sees as a mentor or someone he respects.
On your part…ignore him as much as possible..focus on things that make you happy and less stressed. As a way of self therapy…write down what you want to vent about and send it to him…whether he reacts or not…at least you made him know how you felt
Above all…pray for him. Call his name in your prayers…let him hear you praying for him …Ask God to turn his heart towards his wife.
Do not give up….things can still turn around…its only 3 years…some people change as they mature and get older.
Just be patient,prayerful and show better emotional intelligence than him.
God bless you
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