True Life Story: Everything Backfired When I Reached Out To My Ex-Boyfriend For Help
Dear Madam Jzhane,
Victor (not real name) and I met in the university. He is a very fine guy and all the girls were crazy about him. We met at a party, I was dancing and I caught his attention. He sent his guys to tell me he wanted to meet me, so we were introduced and he told me he liked me alot. I liked him too, but I knew he wanted to smash. After the party, we went to his hostel together and that is how our relationship started.
Many were shocked at me and Victor’s relationship cos, first, the height difference. Victor is 6.4 while I am 4.9. I was the short girlfriend of one of the most handsome boys in cult. Also, Victor was a known cultist that everyone feared but I came from a strict Christiaan family. Our love was like bony and clide. Victor was the love of my life. My parents were against the relationship. They even stopped paying my school fees for a whole semester but that did not deter me…I was living my best life with Victor.
Our relationship continued till we graduated and went for service. Service year separated us and things got rocky. Victor was messing around with other girls, I got so upset that I broke up with him. So we both moved on with our separate lives. Victor eventually went into Private security consulting for high profile Politicians. He has one of the biggest private security outfit that provides special security and protocol and guards for high profile society men and organizations. I was not surprised cos Victor is a dare devil….he is fearsome in many parts of the state.
As for me, I dated Clems (not real name) for a year, we got married but he got a five year contract with an oil exploring company in Saudi Arabia (not real location) immediately after our wedding. So, Clems travels alot but he comes home every three to six months depending on how flexible his schedules get. Sometimes I go visit him for a month or so. Then I got pregnant but miscarried. That was very painful to me. In two years of marriage, I had miscarried at least four times. I am suffering from endometriosis.
The miscarriage took a toll on me. So, me and Clems decided to wait one more year before we try again. Clems started sending me money for me to acquire our own property. We both put money together to get a property that was supposed to be a luxury property but I unfortunately got scammed by the real estate agents. They took 37M from me and ran way. I got police involved but the police could not do anything much….very slow and corrupt people those ones. My husband was so angry at me, he wanted to start coming back home to Naija but I convinced him I would deal with the matter myself.
That was when I went to seek Victor for his help. When Victor saw me, he agreed to help me, only one one condition…that I would allow him make love to me. I know I should have run away when he said that but I was desperate. Victor said he misses me so much but I told him no several times, that I am married, eventually he said ok…he will help me and I will pay him his professional fees. I made a mistake of not ask him what the professional fees are. So, with Victor’s help, we were able to track those scammers and recovered about 35M from them after almost 4 months. Then Victor’s company sent me an invoice for their services…the fee was 7.5M.
There was no way I had 7.5M…..to pay Victor’s company. I went to beg Victor and right there in his office…Victor grabbed my b00bs, started fingering me and he was breathing very fast…I resisted him with all my strength before he stopped….he stopped and the way he looked at me….I could see fire in his eyes….you know Victor is taller and bigger than me….if he wanted to…he could take me easily right there but he suddenly stopped…he then asked me to forget about the money…that I can go. I stood there very stunned. As I drove back home, all I could think of was how Victor rushed me in his office. I began to desire Victor…I began to remember how we lived wildly when we dated during school days.
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I wanted Victor. Hubby not being around did not help matter…for the next few days…I masturbated at the memory of Victor grabbing me in his office….I wanted to go back to that memory….oh God, I wish I did not stop him from going further that day. About four days later, I chatted Victor, asked him where he was…he was like…at home ….why? I replied…I am not wearing any panties….I am coming over. When I got to Victor’s place..it was game over. Even the way he lifted me up reminded me of how S.e.xy this man can be….I wanted him so badly that I pushed every thought of my husband away for that moment.
Victor and I spent the entire night together….we also met up days later. Then I began to feel guilty. I told Victor that we should end the affair…Victor said he can’t ….that he realized he cannot live without me. Victor asked me if I still loved him, I said yes but I am married…he then said, don’t worry…we can take care of your husband. To me, when Victor says he can take care of someone, it can mean that person is in danger…either that person will be killed or tortured.
I had to beg Victor not to touch Clems…even though Clems is abroad…Victor is such a dangerous man that anytime Clems gets into this country…anything can happen… I urged Victor to promise me not to do anything to Clems…Victor said he cant promise that Clems will not be hurt…Victor has said he is not letting me go again cos he has sworn that if our paths ever cross, he is not letting me go. I know Victor…he means every word he has said.
That is why I need advise…what should I do…should I kukuma file for a divorce from Clems? I love Clems but I also love Victor…he is like my spirit animal….my soul mate….Victor is the love of my life. I wish I did not go to him for help cos right now…(but somehow, I feel…I could not help but go to Victor cos I knew he would help me but I never suspected my feelings for him would come alive) its like I have woken up all the flames and passion of our youth and being in love with a dangerous man like Victor is a love that most people wont understand….I myself cannot ignore what I feel for Victor. And if I continue with Clems….sooner or later…maybe not now…Víctor will strike….
I cannot warn Clems about Victor…that would mean that I will admit that I cheated on him and he will be very disappointed in me…and I cannot sit around and pretend like I don’t know Victor will do Clems harm. Victor is well connected and a very powerful man. Even powerful people fear him. The other matter is…my family will not approve of Victor…cos they know him and what he stands for…but if we found each other again…is this not a sign that we are meant to be? what should I do….should I go against my family….will they come to accept Victor in time?
So then, should I divorce Clems and be true to my love for Victor or relocate away from Victor and pray he never finds me again….but that will mean I can’t come back to this country…..how do I explain that to Clem….that we can never come back home? Will I also be able to forget my feelings for Victor? When Victor kissed me that day in his office….it felt like I was lying to myself that I could forget him….I don’t think I can forget him…maybe if he is not in the same location with me but right now….I feel like I am possessed with Victor.
And once Clems knows about Victor…I think that marriage might be over…..cos I don’t know how Clems will handle the situation….Will all these be worth it or should I just leave Clems, an innocent man go free, after all, its not even fair that his wife is in love with another man who might deal with him? Clems does not deserve this, he is a good man….I feel so messed up right now…Please advise me.
Anonymous
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Share This So Many Can See And Learn From The Lesson
You never loved Clems yet you went ahead to marry such an innocent man who wants the best for you.
A man who is abroad planning for the future,even sent money to get a property yet you were scammed,he didn’t send you a way or do anything bad to you,now you want to hurt his feelings by going back to Victor.
Can you cope with Victor? If I may ask,why is Victor not married uptil this time? Well,I can see you desire S.e.xual pleasure over your marriage with Clems, ngwanu go and marry Victor and file for divorce because nothing must happen to Clems, I repeat nothing must happen to that innocent man,he didn’t do anything wrong by marrying you.
Tell your husband that you don’t longer love him,the earlier you tell him the better for everyone.
Give him back his 37 million or whatever his share might be.
My only advice is for you to look well,look before you leap,this your Victor,this your Victor that your parents warned you about,this dangerous Victor,a mean man, you want to lose your marriage for S.e.xual pleasure. Did your husband not tell you about living abroad before both of you got married? Now kpekus is scratching you,you want to go back to Victor. I wish you safe journey,sha look express before you cross
It is said that not all open doors are from God. Dear poster,this is the devil’s door you opened yourself.itbis not God that opened the door for you.you have a very hardworking and dedicated husband that has good plans for the future that would benefit both of you and yet you still decided to go knock on the devil’s door.my advice please divorce clem to save his life. you had a choice of not going back to victor after what happened at his office but you still chose to go back because of lack of S.e.x.do not deceive yourself you don’t love Victor.all this is happening because of lack of S.e.x. you said it yourself victor does what he says.please divorce Clem to avoid victor taking clems life. You’re only trying to make excuse that doesn’t make sense for the reason of your act.clem deserves a better woman abeg.my thought
Some of you women deserve useless irresponsible men, its why I dont pity you women when you marry useless men. Don’t worry, marry Victor ok. You are a very loose lady. Your husband pandoned you for loosing his 37 million naira, and you then went to sleep with a useless cultist, a man that even suggested your husband should be killed, after that, you kept having S.e.x with him, how stupid can you be?
Its why I always tell men, never to trust women at all, even if she is well behaved. Tomorrow, when you find out he is cheating, you wont tell him how you too had beeing doing it, you will then come to blogs to play the victim bashing your husband like you women always do. Some of you women are really terrible beings, you are not fit for marriage. You are irresponsible and wicked.
Go ahead and marry the useless Victor.
Nonsense.
May God almighty have mercy on you
You invited the trouble you seek help for but it’s not late to fix your mess.
Not all love should be entertained especially the dangerous one.
You lost control and you have to tell yiur husbands about it all.
If your so called Victor loves you, you must vow not to touch that man.
Both of you will serve the punishment in life if you spill that innocent blood of Clems.
I will advice you to tellyour husband and face any outcome of it.
Have a genuine repentance and choose decency, peace, life and lasting love which is with Clems.
Relocate as much as it is possible to do.
Leave no trace and be a good wife.
Trust God to heal you of the endometriosis trust Him to protect you and give you a better opportunity to appreciate true love from Clems.
If you decide to go with Victor, accept that you are alone and I wonder why your Victor isn’t married. Not all feelings are healthy and lasting.
I hope you make the right choice and please, bo harm should come to Clems.
Thank you.