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True Life Story: I Asked God To Show Me My Husband So Is This My Answer?


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True Life Story: I Asked God To Show Me My Husband So Is This My Answer?

Good Morning Lively Stones,

Please advise me. I met someone last year. We dated for a while. I was really enjoying the relationship until one day, a lady chatted me and told me she is his wife. I was shocked and confronted him. He did not deny it, he told me that they are married but he is trying to file for divorce. He showed me evidence of their chats of when they are arguing back and forth. His wife is on drugs ..  He indeed wanted to leave her but she was the one begging him.

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So, while I know it was wrong, I stayed with him hoping he and his wife would eventually separate. However, things took a different turn. He caught an STD and he began to accuse me of unfaithfulness. That he knows he must have gotten it from me. I did not have the STD at first but a week later, I was infected. That period of treating myself, he left me alone and I thought we had broken up because he stopped taking my calls and replying my messages.

After I treated myself, like 3 weeks later, he shows up again. This time, he was begging me to forgive him cos he thought I was unfaithful to him but he found out that his wife was the one unfaithful. This attitude really hurt me so I told him I am no longer interested cos if he is still sleeping with the wife, to the extent of getting an STD, also infecting me, that means he is not ready to leave her yet.

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Last month, this man calls me out of the blues and he says his divorce is final from his wife. Since then, he has been bugging me to give him another chance but somehow, I don’t know what to say. I remembered the way he acted during that STD infection and I feel he has short temper sometimes. He really went from zero to one hundred when he got upset when he thought I was the one who infected him.

While he told me his ex wife pushed him to anger most times, with her attitude, he was never upset with me like he was with her until that STD period. I can say apart from that time, he was good to me. I have always prayed to God to show me if this man is truly my husband….if he is, let him choose me…but if he not, let him go away.

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Just still thinking about this when the ex wife dropped me a text ….she sent screen shots of an argument she had with the husband when they were married. Though they are divorced, she still wants him back, so she has tried to discourage me from coming back with her ex. In her texts, it appears they were talking about having threesomes and she was angry that he is cheating on her with someone they both had a threesome with. That really shocked me so I asked him…showed him the chats and screen shots.

To my surprise, he did not want to say anything but he said he wants to clear his name…that his ex wife is the one into women. She is a biS.e.xual. He found out when she tried to seduce him with a woman she claimed was her friend.. That he refused to get into a threesome but he mistakenly cheated with the woman that his wife was sleeping with but he later found out that his wife set him up for the woman to seduce him so he can agree for both of them to have a threesome. So, that was where the argument about threesome came.

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The ex wife kept saying for him to sleep with her friend, that means he likes the friend more than her…and bla bla bla…At that point, he made up his mind to get a divorce but the ex wife did not want him to go so she started begging him every time not to leave. All these are in the past as far as am concerned. No man is perfect and she was the one who set him up for threesome. He even said when his ex wife found out about me, she wanted him to arrange a threesome with me and her.

All his issues with his ex…I cant tell if they will be the same with us…I can say their marriage was strange because the woman seems weird but the only one I am really afraid of is the temper part. I have seen texts where he called his ex a slut, a bitch, fag, all kinds of names. I have seen him talking down on her when he was on the phone with her. He said he did all of that to push him away from him cos she really never wanted him to leave her.

So, back to my prayer…could this be a sign of God answering my prayer or is this not When we broke up that time, I felt he was not mine, that was why everything happened and we broke up…but he is back now…does that mean God is saying he is mine? What will happen if he gets a temper? He is not violent but he was really humiliating me during that time…I am a person of peace. I do not like anyone shouting at me or abusing me. According to him…he would never treat me like his ex because both of us are different.

My friend encouraged me to throw this question open on Lively Stones. I just want to know if this is God answering my prayer by bringing him back to me after we broke up because right now, I have some small doubts.


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Dear poster avoid this man like a plague. He’s not your husband band will never be and you will have too many issues if you marry him. Sometimes we really need to break from every entanglement before we can see clearly. As for this man you can’t marry him
    It is well with you and remain blessed

  2. God is not involved in this,the gift of God maketh rich and adds no sorrow my sister.

    The handwriting is boldly written on the wall na,please leave the guy alone. He is not sincere, straight forward with you.

    Abeg leave the guy and wait for your own husband,the one that God is involved in oooo.

    You are blessed!

  3. Dear Sister, I will be different a little from other people’s comment
    You know what? God’s plans and design for our lives are quite different from one another

    In my own opinion, I will suggest you give this relationship another trials and opportunity for some time with all your eyes and mind open. See if it is actually what you are hoping, or dreaming for your future.

    If it’s not, or he fall short of your expectations, then break up and move on with your life. You’re not under any obligation to marry him. God shall provide Your own bone and flesh for you if you totally rely on Him

    Mind you, do not get committed by all means to him…. just continue dating and studying him for your own good.

    Besides, continue in prayers for God’s guidance, He will direct your path and you will Never fall

    # Peace be to You

  4. Once anyone tells you they are filing for divorce, please leave them, also why will you have S.e.x with someone you are not married to.

    Until we accept the truth that S.e.x is only for marriage, we will keep having such problems.

    The man may be sincere about wanting to leave his ex wife, but please save yourself future problems.

    Again I say, S.e.x is only for marriage.

    I wish you well.



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