True Life Story: It Was Just A Little Distraction From My Marriage Problems But Someone Is Blackmailing Me
Good evening Lively Stones,
I need help. Please keep me anonymous. Someone is blackmailing me. I am a 26 year old, I got married to my college sweetheart at the age of 21. We have a son who is 5 years old and living with his grandma because I am in school and my husband japa two years ago. I am studying to be a nurse, so that I can join my husband when I finish my nursing training. My husband has not come home since he japad, we try to speak everyday but I miss him so much.
Just before he travelled, we made a promise to tell each other the truth of whatever may happen while we are apart. So last year October, over a year after my husband travelled, my husband told me that I should pray for him, that the temptation over there from ladies is much. I laughed over it cos I know he is a handsome man, ladies cannot resist him, but one day, I had a dream that my husband slept with someone. This dream disturbed me so much that I had to ask him if he had s3x with someone.
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My husband was shocked…I could see the shock on his face….he tried to evade the question but I knew I was right…so I cut the call…he called back and tried to explain that it was a mistake and it happened once but I told him that I don’t believe him cos if it happened once, then he should have told me….he tried to defend himself but I told him I don’t want to hear it. He complained that he is s3x starved, etc….that he misses me,etc..I asked him what about me? I also miss him and miss s3x too.
Since that time, I started feeling so suspicious of my husband. I mean, trust was broken. I read so many stories of men who travel abroad and marry white girls. leaving their wives back at home. I prayed for my husband that could will preserve him for me but deep in my heart, I was worried and still felt hurt over my husband’s infidelity. On valentine’s day this year, me and my colleagues in my department shared gifts with one another, which is normal, we even do that with some patients when we go to hospital.
Then one of our lecturers gifted everyone in the class chocolates. So, after class one day, I greeted him on his way to the office…he was carrying some heavy files, so I offered to carry it for him. He smiled and said no but I insisted…so I followed him to his office with the files. As I was about to leave, he asked me to sit down, started asking me about myself. We gisted a little and then he thanked me again and I left.
About a week later, this lecturer sent someone to call me….when I came, he asked me how I was, gisted and everything…I was now conscious of the fact that he seemed to be getting interested in me…so I quickly told him I am married… he apologized and asked of my husband….I told him he is abroad….he looked at me and shook his head…he then asked how long….I oltd him almost two years…so he raised his eye brows and said….so you mean you havent had s3x in two years?
I was shy at his question and I said no sir…he laughed and said its ok. That its ok for married people to have a distraction when their partners are not around or have been gone for a long time. He said he knows my husband has someone that is keeping him so I should not feel bad to also get my own distraction. To cut the long story short, I gave this thinking a lot of thought and I did not discourage this lecturer anymore from making advances at me.
So we started having an affair. It seemed fair since I know my husband was having his own distraction over there abroad. Its been a relationship that has kept me sane, I never bother about what my husband is doing anymore, I have my own distraction. Until one day, someone sent me a video of me and the lecturer having s3x. It was obviously taped in one of the hotels we used to meet months ago. The blackmailer is asking for N2M or they release the s3x tape.
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I told my lover…he was very disturbed, he did not want this tape to leak cos it will damage his career…so he said that since he and I are in love, we should get married quickly……so, the has moved from just a distraction….he is divorced man with 3 teenagers…he has been single for four years and he says he wants us to get married, so we can ignore the blackmailer. My lover has been my rock for the past few months but as for marriage, I am not sure if that is a good idea cos, I am still married….he wants me to divorce my husband….on grounds of infidelity and irreconcilable differences.
The problem is, I still love my husband….yes, I am in love with the two men. How can I not be, my husband is my first love…I will always love him…he took my virginity….he is the father of my child…and how can I not love someone I have been emotionally involved with for almost six months? But am not sure is just love or just because we have connected emotionally through s3x. Secondly, if I divorce my husband, that means, my dream of going abroad will be gone…my lover has promised me that he will send me abroad too…he is a doctor and many doctors are relocating these days….he says we can relocate together when I finish my nursing school next year.
I am confused….please advise me…this marriage offer seems a good idea but it also feels like I am being pressured because there is a s3x tape involved. How do I chose what to do now? If I divorce my husband….marrying my lover in a hurry seems like I am under pressure….what if I regret it after? The again, if that s3x tape comes out, my husband and his family, my family will not find it funny…my husband might even see a reason to end things with me…even though I still love him…what do I do about this s3x tape? Should I look for money to pay the blackmailer?
My mind has a small suspicion…its impossible but I have a small suspicion: what if it was my lover’s plan with the blackmailer to get me to leave my husband? Because, he used to say that he will take me from my husband sometimes after s3x….I used to think its just lovers talk but what if this his plan all along? Could it be? But he too is in the video…if the video leaks, he could be fired as a lecturer having s3x with his student. So maybe he is not involved.
Oh God…what do I do? Should I divorce my husband who I have not seen for over two years now or confess to him about the affair before the s3x tape is released? Maybe I can challenge him that he started cheating first….will he understand and forgive me? Maybe we can both forgive each other (afterall he forced me to cheat on him with his own cheating)…and fight this blackmailer together? Will it work? Will my husband react well? What should I do please? I am scared….I need your help.
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