True Life Story: My Step Mother Is Causing Problems For The Men Who Want To Marry Me
Hello Lively Stones,
Please keep me anonymous. I am in a dilemma, need your help. Its a very long story but I will try to summarize it. It all started when I was 19 years old. I had struggled to pass my JAMB twice, so while waiting to write it again, my dad and my step mother felt it I should go and get a job. So, my dad spoke to his rich friend that owns a string of big pharmacies to employ me as sales girl. Right from the day I was employed, my father’s friend eye fell on me. Th
Initially, I thought he was giving me special attention because him and my father are long time friends way back from polytechnic days. But after a while, this man started telling me he loves me. He made me keep this from my parents because he knew my father would not approve. This man is already married with two wives and he is a womanizer. To be honest, he is the first man to show me love. I had never had any serious boyfriend, the guys I had as boyfriends just wanted s3x from me.
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This man really showed me love and things were very bad at home. My step mother had six children and we could barely make ends meet, so when I started getting money and favours from Mr. Ted my father’s friend I told them it was bonuses from work. My parents were more than happy cos they needed the money. With the money Mr. Ted was giving me and f*cking me, I was able to pay for my step brother’s WASC and gave my parents part of their house rent.
They never suspected anything was going on until I got pregnant. It was my step mother that discovered I was pregnant because I was sleeping more and gaining weight. My dad wanted to k*ll me when I told him its for Mr. Ted. Of course, my dad went to see Mr. Ted and he told my dad that he loves me and wants to marry me. My dad was like,over his dead body will his daughter marry a man already in his fifties. But my step mother had other plans.
My step mother convinced my dad to force Mr. Ted, to formally declare his intention to marry me but that he must pay for my University education before the real marriage will take place. She saw the situation as opportunity for the family to be lifted out of poverty. Reluctantly, my dad agreed. So there was marriage introduction, I gave birth and left my baby for my step mom to take care of, while Mr. Ted paid for me to go the one of the best private universities.
In school, I did very well in my studies, I never lacked. My parents too never lacked because Mr. Ted rented them a better apartment, paid all our bills and my child got everything he needed. Then in my 300l, I met Duncan not real name). I usually don’t give guys any opportunity around me cos I know I am already engaged but Duncan did not take no for an answer. I fell for him. To make matters worse, I could not stop thinking about him. He was a very passionate lover.
I became scared that Mr. Ted will find out about Duncan so I tried to break up with him but this guy refused to let me be. I had to tell him that I have a child and my baby daddy is the one paying for my school. He asked me if I love him or my baby daddy…I explained that I was forced into the baby daddy situation but it was him that I love. Duncan promised to pay back everything my baby daddy paid for my school and everything if I promised to choose him.
So, I told him I will think about it. I did not know what to do, I was confused, so I confided in my step mom cos I do not know my mother, my father never told me who my mom is. She left me when I was three years old and never came back for me. I know my step mother does not like me but she is the only mother figure I have. So, I confided in her. This woman advised me to leave my baby daddy if Duncan can pay back what Mr. Ted invested in me and the family.
Duncan is not too rich but he is doing well for himself. He said he would pay Mr. Ted N5M three times, that is installmentally. So, I told my dad….my dad refused immediately and said a promise is a promise. I begged and begged my dad not to allow me marry an old man such as Mr. Ted. My dad was very upset but after a while…he said he would consult with our elders on how to go about it. Of course, my step mother was very persuasive to my dad. When my dad finally met with the elders, at the meeting, my step mother was there trying to convince them to help us dissolve the marriage agreement with Mr. Ted.
That was when one of my Uncles got upset and told my dad not to dissolve the marriage promise because my step mother was keeping a secret. That my step mother is wicked and wants Mr. Ted for herself alone. That he found out a few months ago but he kept quiet because he did not want to cause a scandal. This uncle was furious that my step mom was trying to discourage me from marrying Mr. Ted because she, my step mother was sleeping with Mr. Ted. That was when the family meeting ended in chaos.
My step mother tried to deny it of course but the family told her she would have to swear by the family juju. She then said that, its not that she wants Mr. Ted but that Mr. Ted wants her but she has been trying to convince him that she cannot do it because of me, but that since I told her I have found Duncan, that one day, she fell into Mr. Ted’s seduction because my dad is older than her and he was not been giving her good s3x cos he hardly has erection due to his age.
My dad is taking BP medicine that affects his erection.She also said she did it for the family, that she was just trying to make sure that Mr. Ted was happy with the family, cos she was broke that time and there was no money to eat so she did it for the money cos Mr. Ted refused to give her money without sleeping with her. She said it was only once it happened but my uncle said its a lie , that rumor has it that every week, that Mr. Ted and my step mother met in his mansion to have s3x, that people are aware of it.
That my step mother would pretend that she is taking my son to see his daddy but she only went there for s3x. At this rate, the whole family is divided. My dad is embarrassed. That his friend f*cked his daughter and wife because he did not have money. His wife even exposed him that he cannot perform anymore. Some family members are insisting that my step mother be chased away while I continue the marriage with Mr. Ted because Mr. Ted is from our town while Duncan us not from our state. My dad is so broken because the meeting with the elders has ended in a deadlock.
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This is where I miss my mom. I wish she was here to advise me and support me. My step mother is just selfish and spiteful. How can she hurt my father like this? My dad is worried that if he sends her away, how will he raise six children by himself? My dad wants me to marry Mr. Ted because he wants Mr. Ted to leave his wife alone. Can you imagine that? Can you see the mess I am inside? I feel sorry for my dad, I want to obey him but what of my own happiness?
My dad says I should forget about Duncan and marry Mr. Ted. That what if Duncan cannot pay the N5M….what id Mr. Ted refuse to collect money installmentally? What if he does not allow me to see my child again? I don’t want to abandon my child the way my mother did…Should I run away with my child now? Some of the elders want my dad to send his wife away….so I can marry Mr. Ted because they say Duncan is not as rich as Mr. Ted and that a child is already involved with Mr. Ted…so that the family will not loose the favors coming from Mr. Ted….while some are saying, I should marry Duncan because Mr. Ted has committed adultery with my step mom.
Duncan is somehow frustrated with my family drama but he says its up to me to decide what I want….I feel sorry for my daddy cos of this whole thing but what is the best for me? To continue with Mr. Ted who I know will only see me as his property or s3x machine or follow Duncan, a man willing to help me correct the mistakes of my past? Will my father be able to accept it if I go against his will/ The whole family is in chaos. I need your help and advise.
Anonymous
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No Kobo should be giving back to Mr Ted, the child you have for him is a great payment already and turning you and your stepmom to sex slave for himself is already enough payment, he have no right to withdraw your child from you, stay with Duncan, meanwhile forgive your stepmom, she did wrong I know but let go, but as for Ted cut off from him completely such a man with rape a daughter you will bore for him, if he can comfortably sleep with your stepmother, avert this future disaster by letting Mr Ted go. Tell him to his face you can’t marry him, but both of you can co parent your child.
Dear poster,you need to handle this matter with wisdom and diplomacy.
Concentrate on finishing your education first, you’re still in 300level, finish up first and know the next line of action to take. First thing first
From what you have written,I didn’t see you complain that Mr Ted is dragging anything with you,so concentrate for now biko.
When you are done with school,get a job first,then you can now break whatever promise you had with Mr Ted or divorce him afterall he only did introduction and last time I checked, introduction is not marriage,you only had a baby for him, period.
You cannot marry that community and public toilet, tufiakwa, you’re too sweet to be married to that man. If he demands you pay him how much he has spent on you,then sign an agreement.
It’s well
You have a valid reason not to marry Mr. Ted and you must use it well. Your father can’t transfer his responsibilities to you moreover you has tried so far. Since your step mom has decided to continue this journey with Mr. Ted they should free you of the burden of marrying Mr. Ted. Your father’s issue with his wife shouldn’t force you to marriage. Even if you marry Mr. Ted, he will still cheat with your step mom. Your step mom is more matured and knows her game.
Just hould stick your ground and be very courageous.
As for Duncan, she can date him but no marriage yet until she can fully stand on her own as a woman and be able to fend for her child.
But will Duncan be willing to help you finish school? If not then how are you going to survive?
Dear writer,
Obviously, you are in mess but you can do something about it.
The ultimate focus is you and your future. The child is yours and the best person to cater for that child is you.
As things are going, how sure are we that your stepmum won’t do harm to that child to get at you and your father?
I guess, you need to explain to your dad that the agreement was to keep marriage pending till you complete your studies.
Hence, focus on your studies and make a good result that will help you in case an opportunity comes out.
Learn skills that will help you while you round up to start earning and even skillssbthatc ouksnbe converted into a career. Get Mr Ted to sponsor th if he will or focus on doing it from what he gives to you.
Plan your exist route if you don’t want to be a third wife. Your stepmum might leave your dad for the love of money but you are not in their lives to be used for selfish purpose.
You accepted the offer to sleep with Mr Ted for money, your stepmum is doing the same for the family. It’s obvious that she won’t stop because Mr Ted wants her too.
I will advise that you and Duncan, take it slow. His intentions and your relationship with him should be between two of you. Only reach out to a counselor here than go to your stepmum for counsel.
If when you graduate and finds your feet and Duncan still want to go ahead with the marriage, make your plans known to your dad.
Mr Ted has a son from the union and messed up with your stepmum, that should be your reason for leaving him. If he demands for a payback, negotiation could happen if he insist but he won’t if you stand your ground.
Duncan has to accept the child to be with you two by then to enable you raise your child properly.
I wish you the best.