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True Life Story: Newly Married But Still In Love With My Ex


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Hello Lively Stones,

I need your candid advice. So, there is this lady that I am in love with….we met three years ago and hit it off quite well. She is a good Christian girl too. She really impacted me to be more spiritually involved too. She was like an angel to me. Nice, kind, sweet, soft spoken, beautiful, smart and intelligent. Anyways, things were going fine and she really was digging me too. As a good girl, she wanted to keep herself till marriage and I respected that.

Infact, this made me work harder to convince her to marry me under one year of dating. I was tired of waiting ….I wanted to make her my wife so I can enjoy her the way I like. So, we got engaged, the church was informed and so we started counselling classes before the upcoming wedding. And that is where things fell apart. During the counselling classes, I started getting serious temptations from this particular girl in the church.

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Its like, once all the single girls knew I was engaged to be married, they started seeing me as a potential marriage material. Come and see attention here and there. One day, I went to pick up my girl from choir rehearsal around 8pm. I was told that she was in a meeting with some of the leaders. The lady that gave me this message came inside my car and and started removing her blouse….that she wants to give me a blow job. I was shook…I literally ran out of the car for her.

This girl kept hounding me…I don’t know how she got my no….she kept sending me dirty raunchy text messages. This girl is supposed to be my girl’s buddy. I just kept running away from her as much as I could. Then there was an all night prayer meeting, after the meeting, some people begged my girl to ask me to drop them off. I carried them and this crazy girl was one of them. I tried my best to take my eyes off her from the rear mirror. Unfortunately, my girl’s bustop was first before others so I dropped her off at home and the rest their nearest bus top.

I myself got home a few minutes later. I live in a one bedroom self contain, I took off my clothes to try to get some sleep, next thing, someone knocked on my door…I was curious, who is at my door around 6.30am? I opened the door and it was this crazy girl from church. Before I could say jack, she rushed herself into my apartment…saying she has been trekking since I dropped them off….so traced my house and walked all the way and she is tired and sleepy.

This girl quickly started taking off her clothes, that she wants to relax….I started telling her to get out but she was not even listening to me. I was frustrated…I took my phone to call my girl cos that was the first person that came to my mind…..this girl jumped up and started dragging my phone with me….dragging my phone, kissing me….practically seducing me….I lost the battle not too long….I was kissing her back.

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This girl said she just wants to taste me, that she is not interested in any relationship with me. And me, I was stone hard….I had never had S** in almost 15 months…konji don finish me….we had S**. And we had S** again and again. I was just completely unable to resist her. After almost three hours of S**, we both slept off….it was around 12.30pm that I woke up to someone trying to open my door….the person was trying to turn the key and knocking at the same time.

I quickly got up still feeling very sleepy…I had forgotten this crazy girl was sleeping beside me…I got up to open the door and standing there was my girl. I had lost track of time and my surroundings. My girl came in and I suddenly realized that that crazy girl was on my bed. I became weak….my girl said she came to clean and cook for me for the weekend….she went to the kitchen….I ran straight to the room to try to wake this crazy girl but this girl was stark naked, snoring….I kept trying to shake her, that was when my girl came in.

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The shock and everything was the most painful thing I every experienced. Of course, there was no explanation. We broke up. I and that crazy girl were suspended in church. My girl blocked me on every platform….infact, she moved to another church cos she was so embarrassed by how I broke her heart. That was last year. I never heard from her for almost nine months. Then, in February this year, she showed up at my place….she looked so beautiful….we cried together…I begged her to forgive me and take me back.

I noticed she said nothing….she was quiet….and then she began to kiss me….and kiss me…I was happy, excited…I asked her if she was ok…she just nodded her head…clearly she wanted me…I did not want to but she kept asking me….kissing me…I wanted her too so I did not stop her too much. I had missed her for so long…we made love…she was still a virgin…it was painful….she bled….but she kept wanting me…I also wanted her and it was the most beautiful experience ever.

After everything, I just kept looking at her….thanking her for taking me back….she got up, went to wash up herself….I joined her in the bathroom and we cuddled…I was so happy she kept herself for me…I was ready to marry her the next day if she will have me….after we spent like an hour making out,….she started to get dressed….and the next thing she said was: she came to say good bye….good what? She was getting married but she wanted to give her virginity to me cos I am the man she still loves despite all but she was getting married the next Saturday to someone else.

I broke down and cried. I begged and begged her. She cried too….but she said everything was set….that even though we both love each other…we are not meant to be married….so she left and I called her all through but she still blocked me….I started tracing her through her friends cos I know her friends….I showed up at her office…I kept begging her…she said it was too late. I begged her until her traditional wedding took place. I almost gave up the ghost that day.

A week later, she got married in church. I decided to accept my fate and try to move on. But guess what….she sent me a message last week….that she wants to meet…that she realized she needs to meet me….I told her to come over….and soon as she got in…we ended up in bed. She can’t stop thinking about me….shes been coming to my place for two weeks now, she said she realized that we are soul mates but not meant to be married…she will not leave her marriage but she will keep coming to me in secret to make love to me.

To me, as much as I love her….I don’t want to be f*cking another man’s wife….I told her to to stop coming the last time….we are both doing the wrong thing here….she said…I should not judge her cos I took away our opportunity of being married. So, now we cant marry but we can be lovers. I don’t want to be her lover….I want to marry her….I don’t care of she’s a newly wed…I only feel sorry for her husband…he has no idea his wife’s heart is with another man. I am sorry to my fellow bro but it is what it is.

My goal is to take my girl back no matter what….I do not feel ok knacking another man’s wife. She has challenged me….to try to win her back….to convince her I can be a good husband. How do I do that? She said if I prove to her that I can be a good man…..she will leave her marriage and annual it….please I need your advise….how do I prove to her that I am worthy of her? She wants me to atone for cheating on her….she wants me to prove I can be a better man….and that is my mission….

I just need to share my story…..this is a love story…some may judge me for sleeping with a married woman but I dont see it like that…I see it as , a married man is sleeping with my girl….all I need is to win her back and that is the hard part because she said I broke her trust …..how do I win her trust again…how do I mend this and get my girl….she has given me three months to prove myself….how does one build trust when it is broken? Time is not on my side….I need ya”ll to advise.

Do you have a true life story to share? We want to hear all about it. Email us at livelystonesng@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348029870309


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Dear poster,I will not deceive you, kindly leave that married woman alone to enjoy her marriage.

    She is a newly wed and needs to stay married,you are distracting her from fulfilling her marital assignment.

    Kindly back off and look for your own wife in front,you can’t be sleeping with a married woman,it is the most dangerous thing on earth,you might not get the consequences now,sooner or later the consequences will come calling.

    I pray the Lord grants you your own wife,amen.

  2. All I will say is if you are killed, we will only use you as lesson to other men to stop sleeping with married women.

  3. Uncle leave person wife.. if you wanted her so badly you would have done everything to get her back.
    When she changed church did you try to reach her??
    Na rough play you dey play so…..

  4. You missed our sessions on how to build back trust in a relationship.

    We can’t help you on the matter of building trust in your ex so you will take her away from her spouse.

    She is only acting without thinking. If both of you are Christians, then stop this madness at once.

    Soulmate or bedmate?

    I will advice you let her go. She had the opportunity to forgive you then without accepting another man’s proposal.
    She accepted it hence it’s over. You had the opportunity to go after her to ask for forgiveness and win her back but you didn’t.

    Do not try to win her over. You both may bring to yourself a circle of disappointments and trust issues.

    If she takes in, that’s as good as the evil you did then.

    You lose control and slept with the churchgirl. She is loosing control to sleep with you.

    Kick out the thoughts of soul mates and search for your soulmate otherwise, she should quietly end that marriage on her own now.

    But I trust if you keep off, she will recover from this madness. The desire could be the fact that you are her first and she must have thought of doing it with you for a long time hence the constant desire for you.

    Let her go. Let her be with her hubby. Be disciplined.

  5. This is very unfair of you. You cheated on her when you were engaged to be married to her and when she gets married to someone else, you now cheat on her husband!
    Leave that lady alone. Stop being a roadblock to her! Allow her to enjoy her life and marriage!
    If you need to relocate to another town or city, please, by all means, do!
    Do you know there’s judgement/nemesis for evil? Don’t let that come upon you.

  6. Young man, you are living in delusion the earlier you realize it the better for you. Your destiny is a stake here leave her alone she is another man’s wife.


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