True Life Story: Should I Return An Expensive Birthday Gift From My Ex?
Hi Lively Stones,
I have a small issue…I don’t know how to go about this with my husband. You see, I got married quite late, at the age of 37. But before then, I was in a relationship, with my ex for seven years. Seven years is such a long time that it was like, we were even married but we had to break up cos his mother was always sticking her nose into our business…he was a mama’s boy, if I may use that term. I am a strong and independent woman that will not be in relationship where the man will not be able to stand up to his mom.
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Our breakup was painful because we were best friends for so long but God rewarded me with my now husband. I met my husband through my cousin, they worked in the same office. Long story short, my husband is a good guy but he is different from my ex. My husband is an Accountant and he has this mindset that certain luxuries in life are not necessary. Unlike me, I am used to luxuries and I have the money to get them but hubby is always talking that I am too flamboyant. I am a baby girl for life o.
So, its going to be my 40th birthday in the month of June. I have been planning this 40th birthday since January this year. I know it will be a big party and I expect to invest some funds into making it a memorable event. Hubby does not mind what I spend as long as its not his money. However, the issue now is, I just received a message from my ex: for my 40th birthday, he is buying me a ticket to spend a week vacation in Greece. My ex is aware that is what I have always wanted since I clocked 30….I had my 30th birthday in Dubai,…so I told him when I am 40, I am going to Greece.
Like this is my dream vacation, all expense paid to a five star resort in Greece. I am beyond flabbergasted. My ex is not trying to woo me back with this gift…he has moved on and is with someone else now. But like I said…we were friends for almost a decade….and money is not an issue for him. Knowing who my husband is, I thanked my ex so much and told him I can’t accept it cos my husband may think some type of way. Because of that, my ex upgraded the vacation ticket to include my husband too.
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That made me so over joyed. I told my husband out of excitement….expecting my husband to understand that its just a friendly gesture but hubby told me to return the ticket and resort reservation my ex made cos he will not allow my ex do that kind of exorbitant gifting to me. I now think hubby feels insure that someone will do this for his wife and he will not be able to do the same financially.
I understand perfectly that as a man, this may be about his ego but we are talking about a gift worth almost N15M here….am I seriously going to reject that? if I had anything to do with this ex…does my husband really think this will make my ex start chasing me again?
Come on, by myself, I cannot afford that trip now…and for a good ex who thinks we can still be civil towards each other for old times sake….I don’t see what harm is there: that he gave me and my husband a vacation…please, why is that a bad thing in my husband’s eyes? How do I make him reconsider this because I cannot afford to go to Greece on my own.
Please advice me…
Anonymous
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Respect ur man, overlook and return the gift, it’s a slap on his face…
Tell your ex to please convert it to money,let him send it to your account since your hubby disapproves of his kind gesture.
Please respect your husband’s stand about this,he is the husband,he knows why he doesn’t want it.
Kindly tell your ex to send you cash as your birthday present since your husband might suspect any gift from your ex.
But Omo,some good ex dey ooooo,this one na better ex wey him head correct.
Good advice. Please heed this
Immediately I saw “strong and independent woman” I already knew something was off. You women act so immature many times, what exactly are you doing with your ex after marriage? To the point that he paid for your trip, what really is wrong with men of today?
I hail your husband, he did very well, more men should be this way, when the so called ex in future starts telling you to follow him to functions, to parties to vacations, you will then feel you owe him such obligations and you will start lying to your husbands that its business meeting you are going for and then adultery starts as usual you women will run from accountability and even blame your husbands, you even said he is insecure, no ma, its you that is insecure, will you die if you don’t travel to greece? So you are the problem.
Even the comment up that suggests you ask for cash is wrong, if your husband gave a woman such, I’m sure you will be so MAD at him so you see please forget your ex and his money and gifts. We have lost the essence of marriage today, why will you be in touch with your ex? Why sister.
Women, many of you say you are children and should be pampered but when men treat you like children in ways you don’t like, all of a sudden you have issues with it.
Why will a man buy ticket for another man’s wife? Doesn’t make sense.
Sister, you are WRONG, your husband is RIGHT.
I wish you well.
✌
Well said King!
If a your husband’s ex gave him this gift how will you feel knowing you can’t afford to?
And if that same husband’s ex changes it to cash for him how would you feel?
I know that now it’s in your court, you’d say I wouldn’t mind.
But I read on here that a woman who agreed to someone being polygamous online was devastated when she heard that her husband impregnated another woman…
You don’t love your husband and sorry to say your husband doesn’t love you and you both know it, you just got married because to you marriage is a big deal and your biological clock whatever that means…
I’d always advice that it’s better to be alone than just marry for marrying sake, you wouldn’t agree with me but
If your ex wasn’t a Mama’s boy you’d choose him in a heartbeat over your husband anytime any day
Please even if you don’t love your husband, put yourself in his shoes and think about how you would react if you know an ex of his who is gifting him a paid vacation to a place they talked about before you met your husband…
And if you still don’t care about how you would feel, I’m sorry to say, your marriage is headed for divorce and also don’t ask your ex to convert the gift to money
She as not move on.
Your life as a wife is not the same as a single lady.
You should have married your Ex then?
Don’t destroy your marriage because of 5 days nonsense is I will term it.
Content is living with what your husband and you can provide for each other.
Grow up lady, read the bible and get submissive.
If you are still considering your dream with your ex…. me I will drive you without thinking.
Make new dreams with your husband.
Be wise.
Or foolish and go marry your ex, and leave the gentle man alone.
Lol.
If you don’t return this gift you will be indepted to this ex and its just a matter of time the ex will crawl back into your life and bed you.