True Life Story: Will My Marriage Survive Afterall They Say True Love Conquers All
Hello Lively Stones,
I married the most beautiful husband about five months ago. I met him at a wedding of a colleague. He just couldn’t take his eyes away from me. Trust me, I was dressed to kill at that wedding…my curves did not disappoint me. I knew he was looking at me and I encouraged him to flirt more…our eyes locked several times, when it did, I licked my lips…he was running mad.
This guy had no choice but to approach me … we talked and I gave him my number. He asked if he could drop me off after the wedding and the rest is history. While we were dating, I found out he is not like me in alot of way but I was so in love with this amazing guy. He was so great to me…so I hid some bad flaws I had. For example, I smoked weed…but I had to hide it from him.
Omo guy was in love…in 4 months, he was talking marriage. So, I thought it was time to quit secretly smoking weed. I discovered that for me to stop smoking, I had to replace the habit with another habit. I used S** to replace the habit. My guy loved me more for it. He thought he was marrying a freak and I loved every bit of it. And so we got married in a most lavish wedding ever exactly 10 months after dating.
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Since I got married, I have been very happy but the problem I have is that the S** seems not to be enough to hold back my urge to want to smoke weed. My past life is now hunting me. I could not hold it anymore…I started doing weed again. To hide from my husband, I do not smoke at home, I try to smoke at my friend’s house. Yes, my friends kept my secret for me. Sometimes, they jest at me, that my husband does not know he is married to a street girl.
Ever since, I feel bad for hiding and doing this behind my husband’s back. Many times, I have contemplated telling my husband…but I am so much afraid of what he will think of me…he never knew I smoke cigarette talkless of weed. I have been praying to God to give me strength to stop this habit. Its had because I have been in this since I was 17 years old. I am 29 years old.
As if the smoking is not bad enough…two weeks ago…I was at my friend’s place smoking and some other guys were there. We were all high and one thing led to another, we had group S**. Before marriage, I would not have felt bad but now…its a different story…I know you might think I am a horrible person but I need advice and help. I do not want to ruin my marriage…weed smoking is like second nature to me. If only my husband will understand…I will not hide to do it…I can smoke safely and get high in my house where I can control my behavior.
But like society will judge me…I fear my husband will judge me too…I fear he will end our marriage…I tried therapy several times but none worked. I am not an addict…I just like to smoke at least once or twice in a week. I really have f*cked up this good thing…I want help….should I tell my husband…will someone help me tell him for me? At least, to explain that its not an addict…just a habit. Everyone has one bad habit right?
Do you think he will get it and accept me the way I am…will our love survive this? I wish I told him earlier…I feel so afraid and stuck. I do not ever want to cheat on my husband…cos I do not think I can survive if he cheats on me…what should I do? How do I just say to him: honey, I smoke weed …can you accept me the way I am? Didnt they say the truth will set you free? Should I say the truth? Or just keep praying for strength not to mess this up…
Someone said if my man really loves me …he wont leave me if I tell him the truth…but the very thought of what will happen if I say anything to my husband is making me shiver with fear…one mind is telling me true love conquers all…one mind is telling me not to be stupid…
This is really f*cked up…
Anonymous
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Hiding the weed aspect is a big mistake you’ve made. You should have told him from on set, it’s left for him to either accept or not. He might have accepted and might even join you in looking for solution for you to stop. You have to tell him now for you to have peace. No matter the outcome just tell him. He needs to know
The fact that you hid something as important as that would hurt him alot. Most especially if he doesn’t like it at all.
Tell him the truth, that is the only way. Stop fooling him
No wonder it is often said that life no balance.
Nowadays,we find out that good men are getting married to the worse behaved women,while good women also marry yeye men. Huh! What an irony!
Anyways my humble advice to you is to go close to God this minute,He is the only one that can change you and change this bad habit.
You said you are not addicted but it is just a bad habit,if it is a bad habit,please stop it,stop it and don’t offend your innocent husband,don’t scatter that marriage with your hands,you are no longer single ,madam.Do
away with friends that will lure you into nonsense behavior, behave like a married woman and not a street babe.
Leave street and trenches life and respect your darling husband bikonu,how this thing take sweet for your mouth,married woman that is having group S.e.x,you no dey fear STD, disease and atleast God?
Abeg,I no one write long epistle,I want to be calming down at this point. Your husband must not find out about this behavior,you better stop it,find a way to stop it and repent.
It is well with you,leave street life,you can do it only if you are determined. Rebuke that spirit that comes to tell you to smoke weed, rebuke it and it will fly away.
Peace
U have a serious issue ,when reading ur story I already knew u were going to have S.e.x with another man even before u said it , because many attimes we guys purposely high a lady to get her laid , highness makes some ladies horny , love can not fix bad habit ,ur problem is that u lack discipline ,If u really want to be free u must Desire to make deliberate action ,U don’t expect God to do the work for u it doesn’t happen that way, u claim to want to stop weed but u still have friends who smoke weed ,tell me how do u expect to be free ,I have friends who smoke weed ,when I decided to stop it was also deliberate I defriend them too ,we do see but I won’t stay with them in the club ,and watch them smoke it makes me very vulnerable ,so I needed to remove the drugs guys and replace with the the right ones .
Another thing u need is replacement ,get responsible married women as friends ,don’t tell me u can’t replace ur friends ,that’s the statement of someone unwilling to change ,start to replace ur friends ,infact u are married now ,what are u doing with single ladies ,they would mare ur life ,and if u are not careful they would snatch him away from u .
Thirdly,bewilling to let the cat out of the bag ,u have to be open about ur addiction to ur husband ,every bad habit triumph in dark secret ,the more u hide it the more it holds u bound ,same goes for pornography,lust ,once u are willing to confess , understand that u are one step to salvation ,tell ur husband he might help u ,and hey u need to stop woman I say this because u would soon be a mother ,if u don’t stop get ready to have chain smokers as children ,u can hide ur secret from ur husband but not from ur children , because most men aint observant ,S.e.x is not a replacement for addiction ,those are two different things ,if u would agree with me u would know that attimes weed is a catalyst to great S.e.x ,but not a replacement .
If u don’t stop now and take responsibility for ur life ,get ready to be fame up ,there are sincere men seeking for married women who they can wreck one day u would be high and have S.e.x with a nigga who would blackmail u , understand that no sin can be hidden forever ,ur husband should not accept u the way u are ,it is a sign u are unwilling to change ,rather u drop bad habit to Foster Good one ,u re fortunate to marry a rich man ,don’t waste the opportunity ,u are reducing ur life span with what u are engaging in and u are setting ur self for life of depression if u don’t change ,try to be a good wife ,okay ?
Dear Poster,
pardon me but you sound like someone indisplineD and lacadesical about life. And this lady called life has been good to you by giving you a good man. its upto you , the ball is in your court.
you need to muscle all strength , resilence and determination to break free from INDULGENCES AND old habits.
if your spouse needs to know, fine. you know his level of maturity if he can handle it. Be that as it may, you need to be accountable to break free. Also , go for deliverance in a trusted living church near you.
dONT FORGET YOU LL START MAAKING BABIES TOO. NOT SURE, BUT WEED MAY HAVE EFFECT ON FOETUS. please lets not even go there. That man and your unborn children dont deserve these. please be more disciplined , take life more seriously and maximise opportunities.
no to cheating!! No to cheating!! no to cheating!!!
PEACE
Dear sister,
I feel you….and, exactly what the turmoils in your hearts right now !
But, do you want to know Truth Of The Matter ? IT IS IN YOUR OWN HANDS!
You are the Only person that can start the journey towards your freedom from this addictions or habits as you called it
Please Go to God sincerely and pray for His help to deliver you completely from this bondage. You too, must take that disciplined steps towards avoiding connection with all these ugly ways.
You will have His peace in your spirit and know when you should confess to your husband
Please my sister, don’t take this issue lightly. God loves you and please take this advantage to set yourself free now.
There’s absolutely Nothing impossible for God to do……Try Him now for your Own good.
#Peace be with You