How My Lesbian Affair Is Ruining My Married Life-Pls Advise
My name is Nancy (not real name). I have two children and I have been married for 16 years. I married early at 24 years old. Since I been married, I have been living in a loveless marriage. My husband at the time I married him was 34. He used to treat me like a small child and misbehave alot.
What I hated most of how he treated me was that he used to cheat on me with all kinds of women. I knew he was cheating cos I contacted different STDs from him at the time. So many advised me to focus on my children who were young at the time. So, even though it was a loveless marriage, I stayed and raised my children.
Things however began to take a new turn when my children became old to go to secondary school. I felt alone most times. So, I began to do business. I am into travel agency business. As a result of my business, I get promotional travel advice and I have travelled to a couple of countries ever since.
That was how my understanding of the world also increased. So, in 2019, I went on a boat cruise on the Caribbean. I met alot of cool people. I met Yinin (not real name). Yinin is a CEO of a Tech company here in Nigeria. We developed friendship and I found out she was is married but the married was lonely and unhappy.
Yinin found herself stuck in the marriage because her husband is the Chairman of their company. She would lose of she divorced him. So she stayed but discovered she liked women. So, she starting dating women and her husband never suspected. Yinin introduced me to Lesbianism. I found out that I liked her alot and she introduced me to alot of exciting ways to pleasure myself.
Since 2019, I have been having a lesbian affair with Yinin. My husband thinks Yinin is a client who uses my travel services. But I been so happy and all the love I did not get from my husband, I get from Yinin and even more. Things began to change during the lock down last year …my husband began to change and be a good husband to me.
Our marriage began to heal and I found myself happy again with my husband and my marriage after almost 14 years. I then decided to break off my affair with Yinin cos it felt like I was cheating on my husband. I didn’t feel like that before cos my husband did not care or love me. But things have changed and so, I cut off Yinin.
My problem now is: since I cut off from Yinin, I no longer enjoy s8x with hubby. I mean, I don’t experience orgasm except I masturbate after s8x with husband. When I am with hubby, I am always thinking of Yinin. I feel very frustrated even though my husband is trying. My husband even asked me what is happening, that he noticed, I am not enjoying it or pretending I was enjoying it.
I feel like I will never enjoy straight s8x again and I am worried because I don’t want to be a lesbian again. I am still young and I really do not want to consider that my s8xually has been changed permanently. I catch myself most times fingering myself, imagining I am with Yinin or another woman. I watch alot of lesbian p*rn videos to calm me down. What should I do? This secret and frustration is killing me. Please advise me.