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My Ex Dumped Me Before So I Am Scared Of Being Seen As Desperate


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My Ex Dumped Me Before So I Am Scared Of Being Seen As Desperate

Good day,

I will just go straight to the point because I don’t know how to write long stories. I am 33 years old, I work in a multinational company. I was in a relationship with a coworker three years ago and we were truly both in love. I thought we were going to get married really.

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However, after two years of dating, this guy dumped me because he messed up with another lady at work, someone higher than both of us, a manager. He felt he had better chances with the woman cos the woman was giving him money and her car to use most times.

I felt really betrayed and ashamed cos people at work knew about us and were feeling sorry for me. However, I tried to put all of that in the past. In less than a year, he and this lady got married. Not up to a year, they were having issues. They were always fighting and it became an issue of separation which they did.

Now, this guy is separated and moved out of their home. He is now trying to get back to me. I do not know if his intentions are genuine or he is trying to make his soon to be ex wife jealous. He comes to tell me how he feels the woman used jazz on him cos he cannot see what he found in her now that they are married.

He complains that the s*x is bad, she has bad attitude and she is lazy. When this guy started coming back for me early this year, I of course pushed him away. I was not going to be his second choice. He then got transferred to our Abeokuta branch in March. It was around that time he filed for divorce.

That was when I heard from someone that the marriage was doomed from day one cos the man was always comparing me to his wife. The wife feels the husband is still in love with me cos nothing she does can match what I was to the man. They are divorced now. The marriage did not last up to a year.

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Few days ago, I got a very long message from the man. He was basically begging me to forget his crimes against me and that I should consider him once more . He said he will move on if I do not respond to him after this last time. I am torn and do not know what to do.

There is somewhere in my heart that still has feelings for him..do you think I should give him a chance? Will the ex wife not think I had something to do with her marriage breaking up. Will it also make me look desperate …like I am going back to my vomit? What should I do?

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Please forget about that guy. He’s not serious.
    Focus on yourself,be a better version of yourself everyday. Your own Man will locate you.

  2. So a guy dumps you after almost 3 years of dating because of material things. Goes ahead and marry the person. Makes a mockery out of you at your work place. And now he’s realized it’s you he should have stuck with after his trial with the other woman failed. If that is not going back to your vomit,what is it again? You already know what he’s capable of, coming for advice while knowing all to well how he hurt you means you have forgotten the pain you went through and the embarrassment he caused you. The ball is in your court Sha. It is well with you.


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