My Marriage Is Breaking Down All Because I Wanted To Make My Husband Happy
Please help me save my marriage. I am a Nigerian but I live in the US. Its been going on for about a month now. I probably should not be sharing this on a public platform but right now, I am doing everything possible to save my marriage from completely dying. I met my husband during my masters . We got married on 2018.
Since then, our marriage has been going through some challenges. First, I had several miscarriages in the first year. Then for three straight years, I have not been able to get pregnant again. This has been really making me depressed and hubby tries his best to be a man but I could see it also affected him. We decided to live our lives and be happy until God decides to answer our prayers.
Things have been good for a while. We then decided we needed a vacation. My husband took me to Miami. It was a very fun vacation and we caught up with some of our friends while there. We attended clubs with some of his friends too and things got wild.
During the parties, some came with their wives and girlfriends. What I didn’t know was how wild things would get. It turned into a lot of kissing and s8x very quickly. Even though we were all drunk, I just did not have the stomach to get involved in such acts. I told my husband that we had to go and we left the club. We were laughing about it the next morning, discussing how crazy people living abroad can get.
We were still discussing, when one of his friends from the club came to see us. It was like, almost two days to the end of our vacation. I asked him how he could engage in such wild s8x acts and he laughed saying that my husband should stop acting like a saint now that he is married cos he can confirm that my husband has had such experiences before.
Me, I was shocked but my husband said it was before we got married. And then I asked when, cos we were dating long before we married. He could not say when…but that its before we got married. I was like…that means he cheated even when we were dating but his friend which is like his very close friend told me to relax….that I should get to know the man I married very well…that he is very much into that kind of stuff (.ie, wild s8x parties and even threesomes).
My husband was trying to make it look like he has changed but his friend kept making fun of him. And then, things went worse. I thought they had dropped the stupid idea, cos my husband got up to use the restroom, his friend then very politely asked me to have a threesome with him and my husband.
While I was trying to act very stunned and disgusted at what his friend said to me, he assured me that if I agreed, my husband would agree. We both decided to prank my husband…to catch him in a lie…so when my husband returned…I went to him and whispered in his ears…that I want to have a threesome with him and his friend…that there was no need to be shy anymore cos I know he likes things like that.
Would you believe my husband was only silent for only a second before agreeing to this? I was like what…its a joke…am just joking but clearly…my husband liked the idea too much that he asked me if I really want to try it…it sounded ridiculous but I said yes. I wanted to do it cos my husband asked me to.
Its the craziest and most insane thing I have ever done in my life. I am not very religious but being raised by Nigerian parents, that is a complete taboo…God knows I felt so wrong doing this but my husband and his friend really had fun. I was made to believe that these are some of the things couples do to spice up their marriage. I liked that it pleased my husband but I told him I would never do it again.
We returned to our home two days later. But then, my husband began to act strange…he seemed like he was upset at me and I did not know why…I asked him what was the issue and he just said nothing. That I should leave him alone. I could not take it anymore cos two days later, I was trying to make advances to him and he pushed me away. I then realized things were serious cos my husband has never refused me s8x before.
Then I insisted he told me what I did wrong. He said I had changed. That since the threesome with his friend in Miami , that I am behaving strange in bed when am with him…that he noticed changed and now I act differently during s8x. My husband is jealous!…can you believe that? Someone who begged me to have a threesome, is now behaving like I did something horrible.
I laughed and told him to stop behaving like a hypocrite. Since then, we fight and argue alot about petty things and it has been like that for some time. We are no longer happy. He told me he regrets having that threesome. I also regret it but it happened and its his fault. But why he wont forget it and move on is the issue.
We have not had s8x since. I told him we need to go to therapy and he said its waste of money to do that. So, am just hoping things get better with us but he keeps acting worse everyday. We don’t communicate…we are gradually growing apart. Please help me save my marriage before its too late.
Anonymous
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It is also your fault madam,how on earth did you allow that in the first place?A married woman doing threesome,nawaooo. Must you agree to everything your husband wants all in the name of making him happy, something bad for that matter. Keep talking and praying for him,talk to anyone he listens to,it is well..
Like, what has gotten on us this generation, always S.e.x S.e.x and S.e.x, you brought this on yourself, for another man who you call your husband’s friend to ask you for threesome shows the level of familiarity you have with him, marriage theses days has been reduced to a joke, you did it to please your husband, now that you have done, has it made you good, irresponsible friends will lead you to destruction, marriage is a mess these days. You need to cut off from that kind of friend, you shouldn’t get familiar with your husband’s friend, respect them yes…but I doubt how many people these days have that attitude. You and hubby allowed another man have S.e.x with you together….. Disgusting. Don’t be hard on yourself, repent and stop the clubbing and the rest you doing. I dont believe in this therapy thing, what you need is heart to heart talk, how you need to stop clubbing, but I doubt if both of you will be honest about this clubbing thing, how to give friends distance, I mean adequate distance. You guys need to talk, I mean break it down BUT be HONEST with yourselves. GOD bless you sister. You gonna be alright, trust me you will. Xoxo
It never sounded as though you wanted to please your husband but more like you wanted to give it a try. Keep talking and praying in patience and your marriage will pounce back for better. I sure hope you’ve learned a lesson or two. Evil Communication corrupt good manners. You might have actually pulled your husband into what he’s secretly trying to come out from.
Once again, talk in love, prayer and patience. Shalom!
You both were foolish. There is a difference between doing wild things when you are single and doing it when you are married.
Your husband’s ego has been bruised and therefore he is acting up.
Keep trying. Keep talking to him also try to get someone he respect to intervene.
I believe you’re an African woman who knows the culture and tradition of our people regarding S.e.x and marriage. Men are polygamous in nature but women are looked up to be decent. My dear do you know that this could be a trap for you, organized by ur husband and his friend.
With these backgrounds you must apologize to your husband, promising never ever to try such again. Explain to him why u did that, just only to see his reaction. Buy special gift for him and remind him how you were with him before now. Let his opinion counts more in every decision. Don’t argue provocatively but be submissive as an African woman.
If you do this things and he doesn’t change then call his best friend to help you.
Family, do you know that you can kneel and say sorry to your husband just to save ur marriage. Shun pride and arrogant and pray fervently.
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