True Life Story: Ashamed To Admit That My Wife Is Abusing & Manipulating Me
Good evening Lively Stones,
Its taking alot from me to share my story. But I have given Jzhane permission to share because I know maybe someone may learn from my mistakes. But I plead for anonymity and respect in the comments. My name is Franklin (not real name). I am 35 years old banker. My two years marriage was the most traumatic experience…I do not wish to relive it.
There are many people living in marriages these days but they are not happy. They are facing all kinds of problem, but they are stuck because fo what people will say or fear of something they can’t admit to others that they have done.
I met my wife during the wedding of a popular politician’s daughter. She was on the bridal train, and I was on the groom’s train. From talking, we connected and after a few months, took things to the next level. She seemed like a great girl. I have had a fill of my own escapades and I felt it was the right time to settle down. Maybe I also got carried away as to how domestic this babe was, she was the type to come around my place, cook, f*ck, made me feel like she was wife material.
It so happens that she is from a polygamous home and grew up in the ghetto. So, I knew she was a bit rough on the edges …I laughed at her ghetto jokes and experiences …little did I know that was soon going to be our reality. Our marriage was a big deal…the big guns were in attendance. I noticed my wife knew big people in the society. It was later on, I found out that she was a society girl that had been f*cked by most politicians.
After we got married, things started to unfold. My wife kept late nights…I could not complain because I too kept late nights, but I began to worry because it seemed like she did not think that as the woman of the house, she needs to be more homely like she did when we were dating. She stopped cooking at home…. we eat food that was ordered.
ALSO READ: True Life Story: Where Did I Go Wrong To Receive Such Abuse In My Marriage?
The s3x was still good but I noticed she was not as enthusiastic as before….I thought she had a great libido to match mine, but I later discovered, she was still f*cking these big guys in the society. I caught her red-handed chatting with one of them. I queried her for cheating, and she said she was only catching cruise.
Later, she explained that what she does is to organize girls for these men. That she is a PR consultant for events. That she provides special entertainment for VIPs. Now, I realized she was no ordinary event planner like she claimed. She was always out of our home…at parties she was planning. We began to quarrel alot. And she would get physical with me.
At first, I would fend her off…but she began to began to inflict bodily harm on me. She was a fighter. When we fought, she would injure me so much, I would actually be unable to sleep for days. After the fights, we wont speak to each other for days until she would use make up s3x to come and apologize. The last straw we had was when she left the house for good four days to go and plan an event in this same Lagos and camped in a hotel instead of coming back home.
I called he rline for those 4 days…she never responded but sent a one-line text to say I should stop disturbing her, that she is working. That was when I got upset and changed the locks of our apartment. I was like, if you leave this house for four days without me knowing what you are up to, I will not just allow you back without a valid reason. When she returned, she was drunk. She began to create a scene outside. My estate security had to remove her.
That annoyed her, she reported me to her cousin from the ghetto. Those ones came waylaid me on my way to work. They destroyed my car and gave me a beating. I was rushed to the hospital. My wife came to the hospital and created more scenes. That was when I knew I was done. I had married the devil and her family. So, as soon as I left the hospital, I travelled to the East and blocked her on my lines and social media.
My wife went and started asking all my friends and family to beg me…none of them wanted to help because they all know that she had goofed and she was dangerously violent. Eventually, she got my dad to talk to me, to give her another chance…with much persuading, I agreed that she should return home.
So now, my wife does not fight me when we have any issues…instead, she throws and breaks anything within her sight.She said its years of rough life…that she will learn how to drop all that rough attitude with time. Its been two years of marriage…no children…we have done plenty tests…no medical issue with us. Now, all I hear from my wife is that I will soon get tired and marry another wife who will have children for me.
In my frustration, I told her it was her fault she cant get pregnant because she had messed up her womb with the wayward life she lived. I did not really mean that so I immediately apologized but she was heated and slapped me and began to pound me. If I raise my hand on her…it will be another story. I want a divorce, but she has threatened to deal with me if I divorce her. Her words: if you ever leave me, you can no longer sleep with your two eyes closed.
What she means is, she can organize people to make my life miserable…. now, she has calmed down and used s3x again to try and in change my mind…my family thinks I am bewitched because I cannot get rid of her. She has a way of manipulating with crying, saying she needs help to deal with her ghetto nature and anger problems. Sometimes I feel she is maybe trying to change but alot of times, I feel she cannot change.
I do not love her anymore. I want her out of my life. She also uses her late mother’s plea to get me. Before her mom died last year, she made me promise not to abandon her daughter…to always overlook her flaws…so when I feel like leaving her…she says her mother will not rest in her grave if I dump her. And I will start feeling guilty.
Another thing she does is use my mistakes against me. I have done some financial dealings that I cannot mention here. She knows about it. If I leave her, she might expose me, I might lose my job and expose some highly placed people as well. That would be very catastrophic. My business associates may never do business with me anymore.
I am tired…I am unhappy. I just want to move on but now you understand why its not easy to move on from an abusive marriage…so much is at stake. Please advise me.
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You both have your own flaws but nevertheless you have to be happy.
Staying in an unhappy marriage with a destructive person is not the best.
Is either you divorce her or you ask for an open marriage. You are just too young to suffer all these mess in the hands of a woman, divorcing her means she is gonna expose your business dealings,then talk to her people,that you need some space,you can lodge in a hotel for a month,let her feel your absence,you can go home after one month and let’s see how it turns out .
Is either she changes or she learns to live with you this way,if she doesn’t change,you can secretly marry another woman because that your wife is not ready to give birth oooo,the wayward life style is still in her 100%,so act fast.
The Lord is your strength,she only uses sex to appease you whenever she is wrong,how long will that continue bikonu?
It is well
When we tell you men the female nature, you call us women haters, see how your wife is treating you. You were fornicating, you were pedestalizing her, you were simping for her.
She even manipulates you with her mother’s death, you too fell for it, what exactly is wrong with men today?
Why do many men act silly for women. You don’t put your women in check while dating but you think you will be able to put her in check in marriage, no it won’t work.
You dumped her because she has been adulterous and violent, and you later went back, is it until she kills you, see how she even threatened you if you divorce even after seeing has begged.
Go read masculine books. Read the manipulated man by Esther Vilar, get it from pdfdrive.com, search for masculine books on pdfdrive.com. Please do what I said.
I won’t tell you what to do because you already knew what to do.
I wish you well bro.
Poster, sorry for your marriage predicaments. It’s your own fair share of life’s issues. You will definitely come out and get over it.
You owe this lady no obligation to remain in marriage with her. So many reasons and evidences to reject and divorce her.
From your story, she has plenty baggages, so give her space, real space and let her be on her own for a while or file for a divorce
Don’t fall for her blackmailing. Stand firm in your decision. You are strong, and be determined to pursue your peace and happiness by all means
Seek God in prayers and He shall direct your paths
Peace be to You
Am not blaming you but you did not do your DD (due deligence) before wedding and it is coming back to hunt and hurt you
Is it possible you travel abroad and start a new life ?
As am typing this msg, I sense the answer will come to you if you can separate yourself to hear your inner man and take a definite position soon…