True Life Story: How Do I Move On From My Baby Daddy-I Am Not A Home Wrecker.
Good Morning Lively Stones,
Please I am at a cross road. I need advise. I am a single mother of 26 years old. I never planned being a single mother but my baby daddy deceived me. We dated for two years. I thought we were going to get married. It was when I got pregnant that he told me he was married. My world shattered. I kept the baby and he has been a responsible father that provides for his son but his wife is not aware of me or the son.
After he told me he was married, I stopped having any form of intimacy with him even though he has not stopped trying to get me back. I have done everything to move on from him but its hard because he is the one providing for me and my son. He bought me a car as a push present when my son was born. He paid for my apartment in Lekki for 3 whole years. Finally, he also sponsored my shop with over 3M.
All the above he did to try to get me back but I told him never. That I can never date a married man. He asked me to take the gifts so his son will be comfortable. I told myself he is doing all these for his son. But every time I meet a new guy …I am unable to settle down because of my baby daddy. The new guy sees all that my baby daddy does for me nd they get intimidated. I feel like I can not find a new guy because of the things my baby daddy does.
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This man is even planning to buy us a house in Lekki. He said his son should not live in a rented house. How do I say no to that? I watch how his wife posts him and their family on social media and I feel bad every time that she is unaware of me and my son. Its been almost two years since I slept with my baby daddy…at times, I fight the urge to make love to him…
Body no be fire wood…let me not lie, this celibacy thing is not my style abeg. I want to be in a loving and S**ually active relationship. I have no man in my life and he is so kind and generous. Sometimes, I even want to give in because of how good he has been to me and my son.
Several times I have asked him to stop being so generous but he said he feels that is own way of paying me back for the pain he caused me by not telling me he was married. When I asked him why he cheated on his wife with me, he said they were going through a rough patch in life but they are trying to mend things but he still loves me.
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Recently, I started thinking of being his second wife. I thought about this for a long time. Because as long as he has a son with me, he will never leave me alone. He will always be in our lives…since he is rich, which man will accommodate a rich baby daddy in his woman’s life? I do not think he would mind marrying me as a second wife but he will not want his wife to know….that I am very sure of.
So, should I be a second wife or should I continue to wait for my own man? Will I ever find a man that can match my baby daddy? Someone that will not feel intimidated by his presence in our lives? I am already used to this lifestyle….my baby is used to this lifestyle…so what are we going to do? I really need mature advise…I do not want to be a home wrecker but this is my situation….please advise me.
Anonymous
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Talk to the man, if you don’t mind being second wife, let him know. He may be willing to marry you but you may remain a secret wife except he is willing to confront his wife and tell her the truth.
You haven’t really made up your mind to leave your baby daddy.
You will not marry another’s husband,you will have to get your own.
Make arrangement on how he can be seeing his son,then you find a serious relationship that will lead to marriage,that way,you will be free from him.
Your boyfriend or whoever that wants to date you shouldn’t get intimidated by what your baby daddy gives you,you need to explain to him that he is actually doing it because of his son.
Please don’t marry that man,it may be sweet now but you are only trying to divide another woman’s home and trying to bring confusion,hatred among the children in future.
Peace
He has hurt you so much and would hurt you more if he continues being in your life. How????
1) You dont know the kind of person his wife is and what she would do to you if she finds out about you.
2) He is depriving you of a life outside of his presence. Soon enough your rigid mind would give into him and all you would want is to be his wife and there the real problem would start.
what you should do now is make an agreement with him, on how his son is the only thing making you let him close to you, tell him you wanna move on with your life and find your own man, explain to him you would take care of his son and how you wouldnt deprive him of his son but he shouldnt deprive you of your life.
1) wait for your own man
2) Will I ever find a man that can match my baby daddy? Rather than looking for a man like him, focus on finding a man that would love you unconditionally with your child and wanna only take good care of you.
3)Someone that will not feel intimidated by his presence in our lives? Any man would get intimidated but to an extent of not being too obvious or making you feel bad about his presence… if a man get so intimidated by him it is a red flag.. Run
Do well to inform any guy that you have made a connection with and feels he could be the one about your baby daddy so he is aware to avoid complications later on.
A question. If you were married and your husband were doing all these things to another woman what will your advice to your husband.
Sister, stop deceiving yourself. You even tried to justify this act of yours.
I put it to you that you know what to do, you just don’t want to do it.
*✌️