True Life Story: How I Almost Lost My Pregnancy After Discovering That My Husband Is Bi-Curious
Hello Lively Stones,
Please hide my identity. My marriage is about 8 months old. I have a challenge and I am scared. I met my husband in our University alunmi group. He was in engineering in school and I was in Mass comm, so we did not know each other in school but he chatted me two years ago on the alunmi group. He liked how I was contributing to the group and from there, we started talking and he told me he is interested in me. I too liked him, he is very handsome and works out alot. Alot of ladies were trying to get his attention. I was surprised he was even single.
After talking and dating for about a year, we got married in December 2021. Our marriage has been good. S3x was never a problem in our marriage…we both satisfied each other but my husband has a higher libido…I was doing my duty as a wife to satisfy his huge sexual appetite but I got pregnant in February. And that is when our challenge started. Maybe I caused it a little but I was not properly informed. I felt less s3xy as my belly grew bigger and somehow, I stopped desiring s3x from my husband. Anytime my husband came for s3x, I was not really interested, that upset him.
My husband felt I pushed him away and started chatting with some girls online. He became dodgy on his phone and put password on his phone. Then he began to stay out long…when I asked him, he would say he is at the gym. When I accused him of cheating, he would say I pushed him to do whatever he was doing. To be honest, that made me really angry because to me, he was not showing understanding for my condition. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones. I was easily irritated cos I was expecting him to be more loving and understanding yet he was messing around in my condition.
Then one day, I saw a sponsored post online, on how to hack into someone’s phone. I honestly did not want to but I was very unhappy. I installed the software and that was when my world shattered into pieces. I saw chats and videos of my husband doing all manner of sodom and Gomorrah things. The things I saw with other women did not even shock me as much as the things he was doing with men.
Yes….with men, you heard me right. There were alot of porn videos in my husband whatsapp. Men were sending him videos of themselves…he was sexting these men. And he and one of the men have arranged to meet several times. I immediately had high blood pressure. I was weak and almost passed out. I immediately went into labour. It was screaming and my security man came and saw me…he called my husband.
When my husband came, I asked him to leave me alone , not to touch me. I asked the security man to get me an uber but my husband carried me forcefully into the car. I got to the hospital and was placed under emergency. I had to have my baby premature. baby was born in three weeks ago. Since then, our baby has been in intensive care. My husband saw that I had seen his phone and he has been begging me since then.
All I am praying for my baby to be discharged from hospital. I do not know that my marriage can survive after this. My husband has begged, still saying I pushed him into this. He is still blaming me for this …can you imagine? How do I heal from this when he still says I am the one that pushed him to have s3x with not just other women but other men?
I have asked him if he is gay, he said he is not gay but he is curious….what is the meaning of curious? He explained that being curious is a term for a person, who is open-minded and feel at ease with others’ sexual identities and orientations…usually someone who is a heterosexual, who is curious or open about engaging in sexual activity with a person whose sex differs from that of their usual sexual partners.
This man said even when he met with the man I saw him chatting with, he only watched…he did not participate…That he is just fantasizes about it but he does not engage physically in it. From what I saw, the men in my husband phones are heavy built men, those men who build muscles in the gym,…I recognized one of the men he was chatting with, its some gym instructor that I even worked out with just before I got pregnant. Again, my husband’s friends are also gym freaks…I am sure they are all aware of this and maybe even encourage this lifestyle…no wonder my husband likes to go to the gym alot to work out.
That is why to me, that is BS…I do not believe him one bit but he is swearing he will not do it anymore. He has deleted his social media apps to prove that he will no longer get involved with these people…he said once our s3x life resumes normally, he will not feel the urge to engage in such acts…is that enough for me to believe him?
The doctor that attended to us when I was rushed to the hospital asked me what triggered the premature labour, I lied that I fell but he did not believe me. The doctor said I could have lost my baby due to this…so I should open up. When I told him everything…he did not say anything about my husband but he said some men actually feel abandoned when their pregnant wives reject s3x during pregnancy…he explained how its perfectly safe to have s3x during pregnancy whether or not you feel up to it…I felt bad for the first time that I ignored my husband but is marriage all about s3x?? I feel so hurt and betrayed.
Please what do I do? will regular s3x with my husband stop him from being curious or whatever he claims he is? I love my husband…I do not want to loose my marriage…I am just scared…and I am ashamed of telling any of our close friends or family for their help or advise.
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