True Life Story: Is My Cheating Husband Worth Losing My Job For?
Hello Lively Stones,
My husband and I were separated for almost seven months. This is because he cheated because he felt insecure about my new job. When I got this appointment four years ago, we both knew it would be a very challenging one because it required alot of travelling but we knew it would come with alot of financial benefits. I got an international company offer as Regional Sales Director for a multinational company, its a once in a life time offer. With the money that came, we really changed our lives.
We were able to buy our dream home, sponsor our children abroad, new cars, etc. But I was always travelling. Sometimes my husband joined me in the travel but one time, he stayed back and he messed up big time. He cheated and had a child out of wedlock. When I found out, I just broke down. I found out he had been cheating but when a child came out, he could no longer hide it. Apparently, he was even cheating before I got this job but I never caught him, even though there were signs.
Now, he blamed me for pursuing career and neglecting him but to me, we made a decision together for me to take the job why will he stab me in the back just because we don’t have S** everyday. That I am too career driven. I only faced my career when I did not want to die of depression following the many suspicion of flirting that I witnessed.
So, we separated. In fact, I filed for a divorce and that was it for me. Initially, it was easy to move on because my husband was not remorseful but recently he changed and has been trying to get me back. When we separated, he went on to have a full relationship with the woman he cheated with. He moved in with the woman. That really pained me. I was going through a difficult time and in the process, I had an affair with a single dad, a colleague, a younger man.
It was not something I planned but the emptiness in me was what made me start having S** with a younger guy. As God will have it, during my son’s graduation a few months ago, my husband and I started talking again. He had separated from his girlfriend. He now wants us to try and work on the marriage but the problem now is, I do not know how to stop the affair with this colleague. I also think I am in love with this guy…I am not sure, he loves me but its just been only a couple of months you know.
The affair started because we worked together and now, we are still working together. He was sad and lonely like me. He had been through a painful divorce too. We still see each other everyday and every time…we work together…its impossible not to continue this affair. Except I quit the job. This young man is one of young directors on the board of the multinational company where I work. I like him alot …as in a whole lot….and he does like me me too. He is a divorcee with one child.
I may have forgiven my husband. No need to keep holding on to the hurt but going back to him is a whole different ball game. Most people would say I should go back to my marriage but I am 45 years old. Husband is 49 years. In this brief few months I have been with this guy, I have been very happy, happier than I have ever been since I was married over 28 years.
Maybe I am attracted to a younger man who knows how to appreciate me better and as long as we work in the same team, I cannot seem to know how to stop having feelings for him. Yes, no marriage is perfect but I have tasted something better…I have been through something worse…why should I quit my job for something worse? Just to continue in a marriage with someone I gave 28 years of my life only for him to cheat on me because he felt insecure?
Please advise me. I do not want to regret my decision. Family pressure is on. This job is a one time opportunity. I could be actually have limitless opportunities for my career. I talked to my children, they are grown ups, they say I should do whatever I feel happy with. They also seen how their dad treated me while we were married. Yes, the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know….but what is to say, there will not be another betrayal since my job is the reason he cheated?
So, those telling me to quit the job to focus on my marriage, especially family members, saying I don’t know what will happen with this young man (well, only God knows tomorrow right) but is it right that I quit my job to save my marriage from a husband who cheated, will I not regret sacrificing this opportunity later on in life… or should I forget about the marriage, and follow my happiness? I am old enough to take a decision for my life, yes I love my husband but he had hurt me alot too. I feel quitting this job is too much sacrifice to ask me. I also deserve to be happy.
Am I right or wrong.
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