HomeAdviceTrue Life Story: Is My Cheating Husband Worth Losing My Job For?

True Life Story: Is My Cheating Husband Worth Losing My Job For?

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True Life Story: Is My Cheating Husband Worth Losing My Job For?

Hello Lively Stones,

My husband and I were separated for almost seven months. This is because he cheated because he felt insecure about my new job. When I got this appointment four years ago, we both knew it would be a very challenging one because it required alot of travelling but we knew it would come with alot of financial benefits. I got an international company offer as Regional Sales Director for a multinational company, its a once in a life time offer. With the money that came, we really changed our lives.

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We were able to buy our dream home, sponsor our children abroad, new cars, etc. But I was always travelling. Sometimes my husband joined me in the travel but one time, he stayed back and he messed up big time. He cheated and had a child out of wedlock. When I found out, I just broke down. I found out he had been cheating but when a child came out, he could no longer hide it. Apparently, he was even cheating before I got this job but I never caught him, even though there were signs.

Now, he blamed me for pursuing career and neglecting him but to me, we made a decision together for me to take the job why will he stab me in the back just because we don’t have s3x everyday. That I am too career driven. I only faced my career when I did not want to die of depression following the many suspicion of flirting that I witnessed.

So, we separated. In fact, I filed for a divorce and that was it for me. Initially, it was easy to move on because my husband was not remorseful but recently he changed and has been trying to get me back. When we separated, he went on to have a full relationship with the woman he cheated with. He moved in with the woman. That really pained me. I was going through a difficult time and in the process, I had an affair with a single dad, a colleague, a younger man.

ALSO READ: True Life Story: My Wife Starved Me Of S3x For Two Years Because Of My Condition

It was not something I planned but the emptiness in me was what made me start having s3x with a younger guy. As God will have it, during my son’s graduation a few months ago, my husband and I started talking again. He had separated from his girlfriend. He now wants us to try and work on the marriage but the problem now is, I do not know how to stop the affair with this colleague. I also think I am in love with this guy…I am not sure, he loves me but its just been only a couple of months you know.

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The affair started because we worked together and now, we are still working together. He was sad and lonely like me. He had been through a painful divorce too.  We still see each other everyday and every time…we work together…its impossible not to continue this affair. Except I quit the job. This young man is one of young directors on the board of the multinational company where I work. I like him alot …as in a whole lot….and he does like me me too. He is a divorcee with one child.

I may have forgiven my husband. No need to keep holding on to the hurt but going back to him is a whole different ball game.  Most people would say I should go back to my marriage but I am 45 years old. Husband is 49 years. In this brief few months I have been with this guy, I have been very happy, happier than I have ever been since I was married over 28 years.

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Maybe I am attracted to a younger man who knows how to appreciate me better and as long as we work in the same team, I cannot seem to know how to stop having feelings for him. Yes, no marriage is perfect but I have tasted something better…I have been through something worse…why should I quit my job for something worse? Just  to continue in a marriage with someone I gave 28 years of my life only for him to cheat on me because he felt insecure?

Please advise me. I do not want to regret my decision. Family pressure is on. This job is a one time opportunity.  I could be actually have limitless opportunities for my career. I talked to my children, they are grown ups, they say I should do whatever I feel happy with. They also seen how their dad treated me while we were married. Yes, the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know….but what is to say, there will not be another betrayal since my job is the reason he cheated?

So, those telling me to quit the job to focus on my marriage, especially family members, saying I don’t know what will happen with this young man (well, only God knows tomorrow right) but is it right that  I quit my job to save my marriage from a husband who cheated, will I not regret sacrificing this opportunity later on in life… or should I forget about the marriage, and follow my happiness? I am old enough to take a decision for my life, yes I love my husband but he had hurt me alot too. I feel quitting this job is too much sacrifice to ask me. I also deserve to be happy.

Am I right or wrong.

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

8 COMMENTS

  1. Hmmmmmmmmmm!

    This job made you and your family including your cheating husband who cheated even before the job came.

    Quitting the job for the same man is not worth it, it’s good you’ve forgiven him, but trusting him and quitting the job is a no no for me.

    Wether you quit the job or not, he’ll still cheat.
    A cheating man will remain a cheating man, it takes only the Grace of God to stop cheating.

    I think he left that woman bcos she’s not as rich as you are and probably couldn’t keep up with her demands and care for the child.

    Then he suddenly remembered he has a wife, so as to shy away from his responsibilities as the man that he is.

    Ma, that man is not worth the sacrifice, sorry to say.

    He’s even blaming you for his misbehaviour, rather than been apologetic, on a job you both agreed on.

    As for the affair with your colleague, you’re both adults and knows what’s best for you, but I’ll advise you do whatever makes you happy, bcos your happiness is in your hands.

  2. You will not quit that job, please continue with your job.

    You need to be sure if your husband has repented from cheating,is he serious about coming back to the family? Please for the sake of your children if he is indeed serious,please accept him but there has to be an agreement of you not quitting your job,please don’t quit your job for any reason oooo.

    Please take a break from your younger colleague and work on your marriage. You are still married to your husband,you only separated and wasn’t divorced, please work on your marriage,thank you.

  3. Dear Poster,
    There’s nothing New under the sun. Eyes have seen, Ears have heard so much in this life.

    Sorry for your own share of experience of life !

    You said this in your story and I quote, “Yes I love my husband but he had hurt me a lot too”. Madam hear me, this young colleague of yours will also do the same…. it’s just a matter of time. He will hurt and disappoint you, and then you will realize that there’s no angel anywhere among human race.
    Things may looks sweet now, but soon the young man may soon found out that you are too old and unattractive than what he can actually put up with.

    I will say that you should Reconsider your husband and give your marriage another opportunity to work things out together. Divorce is not appealing to God but if that’s what you think will give you joy and peace of mind, Go for it !

    But remember also your dear children of the impression they will conceive about marriage…. especially their parents.

    Please pray sincerely to God before you take a decision

    Communicate with God, and with your husband concerning your job/career to arrive at a concrete plan. Nothing is too big to Sacrifice for what you really feel is Worth

    Peace be to You#

  4. I have never met a cheat who cheated and reformed. I haven’t read about one either. What I know is that giving up a job that is your source of livelihood isn’t a guarantee that will make coming back with your husband work. Do you know if you end up resigning to stay at home that man might decide to show you his true colors? There’s something about independent women that some men don’t like. And when they err, they are always quick to blame that on the woman and not on their actions. Your husband is one selfish man. He’s only thinking about himself and his comfort. He doesn’t care about your success or happiness. What if this is something you’re passionate about,why can’t he be supportive of you? Maybe he misses the pecks that came with being married to you but not entirely the remorsefulness of what he did. So will you assist him in raising his child with the woman? Someone who was to fall on his knees and beg for your forgiveness. He instead moved in with the woman. I mean, he wasn’t even remorseful at all about whow he hurt you. I don’t think his apologies come from a clear place. He misses something you provided and that could be the reason he wants you back. On this,I agree with your kids. Go with what makes you at peace. Don’t expect anything much from the divorcee meaning, don’t put your all in him incase he disappoints you. Life is too short to live your life based on what your family thinks or says. You’re a grown ass woman who should be in a position to know somethings may work out and some don’t. In any case,you won’t know if you don’t try so be brave and see where this affair leads you. If it’s nowhere,you dust yourself and pick up where you left and continue with life. But you going back to your husband yet your heart still beats for that divorcee, you’ll end up cheating on your husband in no time, which actually doesn’t make sense. Always choose you. If you die today,always make sure you lived your life to the fullest. Don’t ever compromise your happiness no matter what. If tables were turned,he won’t do same for you. Abeg, enjoy your freedom madam and do it unapologetically while at it ….cheers

  5. You are greedy like your husband. He cheated on you and blamed him, but you too cheated and you blame it on emptiness in you. When will you women start holding yourselves accountable for your actions.

    You are not in love, you are in lust with the younger man. I wonder why people love lying to themselves. You are committing adultery or fornication and you think you are in love.

    All those that told you to continue are only leading you to your destruction. I have always warned people about sexual immorality, you had better stop the nonsense you are doing.

    I wish you well.

    ✌️

  6. Please whatever you decided do not ever quit your job for your husband he is not worth it. Just like your kids advised you stick with whatever makes you happy, you and your colleague in the office are adults so you both know what is best for you.

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