HomeAdviceTrue Life Story: Keeping A Secret To Save My Ex-Boyfriend's Life

True Life Story: Keeping A Secret To Save My Ex-Boyfriend’s Life


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True Life Story: Keeping A Secret To Save My Ex-Boyfriend’s Life

Good day Lively Stones,

Please hide my identity. Its a long story but I don’t know how to write many words so permit me to try to explain as much as I can. My ex and I were in a relationship for 6 years. It was my first relationship, he was the first man I know intimately. He was the man who made me the woman I am today. When I say he made me the woman I am, in terms of everything including business.

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It was when I was with him, he encouraged me to get a business degree and start my multimillion dollar business today. He was the one who believed in me, helped me write proposals, get contracts and got me to even run a business that has been so profitable. So why did we break up? Like I said, its a long story but I could not handle the fact that after all we both went through together, he had a child with another woman.

After the breakup, we remained friends but I moved on quickly and got married to my husband now. But before we got married, while I was dating my husband, I actually slept with TJ (my ex) and my husband found out. My husband broke up with me but later, he forgave me and he told me to cut off all connections with my ex which I did. We only say hi like once in while.

Unfortunately, two years ago, we started chatting again. It started with when I wanted to launch a business idea and I needed his professional support. I went behind my husband’s back because I did not want him to think I was going back to my ex to have s3x with him. With TJ’s help, the business worked out and somehow, started secretly chatting again and  almost got carried away. There was no physical cheating but our chats were very explicit.

Somehow, my husband suspected something and he cloned my phone and found out. From the chats, he knew we did not have s3x but he saw we were very much emotionally cheating…I begged and explained it was because of the business, my husband did not speak to me for a whole week but later, we were able to sort everything out until in June this year, he contacted me to tell me he had kidney problems. He was going through so much.

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As a result of this, he needed money for dialysis and treatment. I sent him money without telling my husband. I sent him 1M. I just got another call from him two weeks ago, he needs a kidney transplant and he needs a donor. He asked me to be his donor but I told him I cannot, cos my husband will never allow it. Well, TJ thinks my husband knows very well that me and TJ have feelings but he will not let me go because I have money but I do not know, we have a daughter together and I am willing to work out my marriage for the sake of my daughter.

My husband is not a broke guy but he works in paid employment while I am an MD of my chain of businesses in four states in Nigeria. I try not to let the money matter get in the way of the marriage. He is a good man, a loving dad to my daughter but he is no match to TJ when it comes to being a lover. I think I will always love TJ no matter who I am with. I just need to be able to discipline myself.

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You don’t have to marry someone just because you love each other. TJ having a child from another woman is something I could never overlook. It broke my being. He was my first and sharing him with another woman was too much to bear. I have never really forgotten him but I can live without being his wife. I will also be forever grateful to him. His sickness has taken most of his money and now he needs my help.

Later, TJ asked me to help him with money so he can find a donor. I said ok….I had no idea how much he would need for the surgery and donor. But when he got back to me, he said he needed 250M to pay the donor and for the surgery in Germany (not real location please). I was overwhelmed. Because there is no way I can give him that money without my husband’s knowledge. And if I tell my husband, he will not agree…I know my husband….he still feels my ex and I have feelings for each other.

So, here I am, in a crossroad…either to tell my husband about this request from TJ or do it in secret. I am just worried that first, how do I explain a 250M cash withdrawal from my business without my husband knowing. My husband sees the business accounts from his device even though he does not withdraw from it. Besides, this will affect my business greatly but I really do not mind since I think TJ deserves it.

Please advise me, how do I go about this matter? TJ’s life depends on me but will it cost me my marriage?


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Please inform your husband about it and you don’t have to give him all the money,you can raise 100 or 150 million for him please. This will affect your business if you give him all ooooo

    Please just inform your husband and don’t jeopardize your marriage,let TJ remain in the past no matter what he has done for you.

    Your marriage is very important right now,so respect your husband and tell him everything. He deserves to know

    It is well with you.

  2. Hello dear, I understand you are trying to save a friend, please don’t jeopardize your home, you have flaws in which your husband overlooked and forgave you, please and please let TJ be in the past,…you can help him with part of the money but not everything cos it will tell on your business, I will advise you let your husband in on it….peace dear…

  3. When your husband told you to cut off all ties with him, you said you did but say hi once in a while. Nawa oo

    You don’t love your husband at all.

    You went ahead to send him #1m.

    I put it to you that you KNOW EXACTLY what to do but don’t want to do it.


  4. Madam u have not gotten over TJ ur first mistake ur inability to forgive TJ regardless of what he did ur love for him should have made u forgive him if not u would not be in a position where u are with one man and have feeling for another man , I am kind of surprised that TJ has so much influence over u than your husband , if u have not gotten over TJ just go to ur husband and tell him the whole truth since ur husband can’t love u like TJ I don’t know why u are then enduring him , the danger with this is the fact that TJ has so much influence over u that if u are not careful he would sex u again , ur sacrifices on him explains all , would u have done that for ur husband , ur statement of comparing an ex with ur current man is already a form of cheating

    I know u love TJ more than ur husband my candid advice for u is to tell ur husband the whole truth and tell him how much u want to help TJ , mind u u have tried for TJ he has a wife and a child , so u are to take instructions from ur husband if u love ur family talk to ur husband whatever he tells u fo it , but if u still want to go ahead to please TJ I want u to know but doing that u are placing ur marriage on mighty thin ice it might break , except probably u still wat to end up with TJ sha,?

  5. I for one think TJ wants to take advantage of you. He knows you have money, probably he might not be needing a transplant. There are people in his family who can offer him a kidney without spending that much. Find another way of helping him. Let your husband know and you should consider his advice on all this. If he says NO let it be.


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