True Life Story: My Best Friends Are Getting Married But Its A Huge Mistake
Hello Lively Stones,
Two of my best friends are getting married and I feel these two people should not be getting married for some secrets which involve me but I do not want to say anything because it might expose that me I am a bad friend. So, lets say my friend Kelvin (not real name) and Amaka (not real name) started dating from university on and off.
Their relationship was on and off because both of them are too stubborn. Kelvin likes to flirt and Amaka used to fight him anytime she catches him with another girl. Their relationship was abusive somehow. But they claimed to be in love and no matter how many times they separated, they managed to always come back to each other. They got back about a year ago and things seemed to be working out and they finally got engaged last December.
kelvin though had one of his side pieces that seemed not to be able to leave him alone even though she claims she has a boyfriend that is in Canada. Her name is Audrey. I also think Kelvin still liked Audrey secretly. One of our friends. Tony had a birthday party in February and most of us were there having a good time. Audrey was there too cos she is friends with Tony’s somehow. I called Kelvin aside and told him to be careful since Audrey and Amaka were in the party together.
This kelvin goat of a friend promised not to go near Audrey but before the party ended, fight broke out between kelvin and Amaka. She caught Kelvin kissing Audrey. I and many friends jumped in to separate them cos Amaka was as usual, throwing bottles at Kelvin. Kelvin was blaming his actions on being drunk and I…some of us friends had marijuana during the party, Kelvin did too.
Amaka wanted to leave so I decided to get her an Uber but she was crying hysterically so I decided to drop her myself. On getting to her place, Amaka dropped off but before she did, she kissed me. Saying she did not want to be alone that night crying. She wanted me to spend the night with her. I told her no cos she is my guys’s woman and she swore by her late mother she was done with Kelvin.
That was how we both slept with each other that night. The next day, Amaka kept saying she does not know what she is doing with Kelvin when I am a much better guy. She wanted to forget Kelvin and she wanted me to help her forget. We kept seeing each other for almost two months. She broke up with Kelvin but I told her not to tell him about us until we are sure about each other.
It was in may precisely that Amaka told me she and Kelvin are reconciling. I was mad cos I was beginning to love her but who am I kidding…these two always find themselves after fighting and breaking up. I just thanked God that Kelvin did not know about us. They got back together and fixed their wedding for this August. The wedding was postponed from August to September because they had another fight.
Amaka has been sending me text messages. That I should fight for her love so she can dump Kelvin. I do not want to get caught up in this their dram so I have ignored her. But Amaka did not give up, she was at my place a week ago and I did everything to dissuade her but she got what she wanted. She said she wanted a good bye f*ck….I gave her what she wanted.
And now, their wedding is close. I know these two have no business getting married because Amaka has been using me to cope with Kelvin’s infidelities and Kelvin has not been able to successfully keep it in his pants. Amaka sent me a text days ago, to please give her a sign that she can use to stop this wedding. She knows she is going into the marriage with fear…she has been crying since.
Before anyone calls me a bad friend, I have done everything I can to forget Amaka…and stay away but she is a very emotional person, I find it hard to say no to her. This is not the kind of life I want to live. I have told her not to marry Kelvin but she said I should promise to marry her if she leaves him. I love her but I cannot do this to my friend. Its simply a guy code.
That promise…is hard for me to make because Kelvin will never forgive me if I marry his woman that he has been in love with since University. Amaka deserves better…I feel sorry for her. Kelvin does not deserve to be married to any woman. He is simply an ashawo. He is so far from being innocent so I do not feel so much sorry for him. Its Amaka I feel for…it feels like she has been too long in the relationship and as a woman, age is not on her side…she has sacrificed so much for this my friend that is a he-goat.
Which is why she feels she cannot start all over with a new guy but if someone like me( who she has known for years)…that was available, she would break up with Kelvin. I may be available…I like Amaka…we vibe well…she is a great girl…a wife material any man would love to marry…she has just given to much to the wrong guy…kelvin and I would probably be enemies for life if I did marry her…
Another thing is, I do not know if she can truly get over this guy in her life…she has had too many deep things with this guy, to the point of having several abortions…I would really like to mind my business but somehow, I feel its only a matter of time before Amaka comes crying back to me if they manage to get married tomorrow. This marriage is doomed from the start.
If you are in my shoes, how do you prevent such a wedding from happening. Amaka would always need a shoulder to cry on…I do not like seeing her get hurt…I thought about what I can do to help Amaka… should I continue to be a friend for Amaka anytime she needs me? Or should I go to tell Kelvin that Amaka is seeing someone…maybe that will make him change his mind. Anything to stop the wedding…maybe then Amaka will now realize its better for her to wait for someone other than Kelvin…even if its not me?
What is your advice?
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