True Life Story: My Husband Calls Me Olosho Whenever He Is In The Mood
Hi Lively Stones,
Please help me look into this. I know some people are into exciting S** and all that. My husband is like that. We are newly weds, just like seven months into marriage. When we dated, hubby already told me the kind of thing he likes, he likes wild S** and he said he wants me to always be ready to try new things with him.
And to be candid, we have tried all kinds of S** except with other people. I told him, its not my style. But we have done everything else possible with exploring our S** life. To tell you how this is important to my hubby, he said he does not want us to have children for the first two years of marriage. I am ok with that as I am still young. I am 24. So, we can start by the time I am age 26.
Some of the type of S** we have done is, role play. One of my husband’s favorite role play is me acting like a prostitute or a dirty nun. What I do is, if he wants me to be a prostitute…I dress up scandalous and go to a roundabout at night…he picks me up,pays me like 2k or 5k and then we f*ck at the back of the car before we go home. If he wants me to be a dirty nun…I dress up in nun costumes and I confess my sins to him and he punishes me with rough S**.
So, these and many others are the kind of things he does. I do not complain…cos I find them quite fun too. Until recently, we went for a baby shower for one of our friends and we were playing these couple games. We were asking what pet names couples call each other and most people were saying sweet names like honey, sweetheart, baby, etc. But when they asked me, I had to lie. I said to them that my husband calls me my love.
My husband, instead of him to play along…maybe because he was tipsy just blurted out…na lie o…I call her ashawo. He even showed them that he saved my name as ashawo on his phone. You needed to see everyone’s reaction. They were all like…ah!!! Yes….my husband calls me ashawo….sometimes he calls me slut or even b.i.t.c.h. Its something between us and I love it between us cos most people will not understand. You need to see the way people attacked him for saying he calls me ashawo.
My husband kept saying its no body’s business what he calls wife, that his wife does not mind. When they asked me what I call my husband; I said I call him master or my mugu. Everyone looked at us like we are crazy. I know it looks crazy to normal people but later, my friend who we had the baby shower for, called me and was saying that she thinks I should tell my husband to stop calling me names like slut or ashawo or olosho cos my husband is being verbally abusive to me and I am not aware of it. She also said that my husband is doing this to me cos I am young and naïve.
I tried to explain to my friend that its not a big deal but she was really insistent that something is wrong with my husband’s psyche and that my husband is abusing me in the name of love. And that is when I started re-evalutaing our love life….I started thinking….maybe my friends are right….is my husband being abusive? Must he use demeaning language to call me or treat me like sh*t just so he can have a S**ual high?
ALSO READ: Is My Boyfriend Abandoning Me For A Prostitute?-Please Advise
I tried to talk to my husband about this…I tried to tell him that I think he should stop talking trash to me or treating me like a slut when he is in the mood but he got angry and said, why am I listening to other people. That we were fine before I started listening to outsiders. I am confused….am I being influenced by outsiders or is my husband really abusing me. To be honest…I never saw anything wrong with this before now….
Since then, we have been having trouble with our S** life. I no longer want those things, my husband wants and he says I am looking for trouble….that he likes what he likes and if I say I don’t want it anymore….then I should be ready if he starts cheating on me. That really hurt me. Cos, my husband promised me, that he will never cheat on me. So now, I am under pressure to save my marriage. Should I allow him to continue the way we were before or should I insist he changes.
I am really confused and afraid of loosing my husband if he goes after side chicks.
Anonymous
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Dear Poster,
Ignorance isn’t an excuse.
When you know in bits, you will act at that level.
The style was acceptable to you because you wanted to please your husband and wasn’t thinking.
The exploring of styles aren’t an issue but the abusive words and endearment aren’t right for the flesh of your flesh and bone of your bone.
Your husband seem to have been deeply influenced by porn and he prefers those manipulative scenes.
Two can’t work together except they agree.
She should respect your choice of demanding he stops calling you by those names. If he cares, he should respect your personality.
Such lifestyle may affect you in the future and anyone who lives like your husband especially not knowing boundaries can do anything to get what he wants.
It’s a hard truth, your husband may go outside to get the satisfaction he wants.
The question is, if you wish to save your marriage today, how long can you continue and tolerate his excesses?
Will you remain his S.e.x slave and be abused and get affected mentally when his acts becomes unbearable?
It’s seven months and this way, what shall come up in two years?
I need you to pray about this and find a good time to discuss with your husband to be considerate in his demands and your desire and also shouldn’t cheat like he promised.
Give him time to come around and make some amends. If he doesn’t and you can’t cope, get both parents involved and meet a counsellor.
The truth is your husband needs a therapist. Keep praying for him.
All the best.
Things are really happening God have mercy. Dear poster, the names are not cool but you need to understand you both agreed from on set and it’s been working fine not until the baby shower. He’s right when he said you’re listening to outsiders because we’re all beginning to put ideas in your head.It’s who he is and what he likes. Your husband is in a different world entirely and It will take the Grace of God for him to stop calling you those names and also stop the drama. The drama and the names work together.The names are not cool at all but there’s nothing you can do about it.
1) for him to stop calling you those names means your S.e.x life would be affected because it is only when you both want to have S.e.x he calls you those names of which it is already affecting your S.e.x life already.
2) it’s either you accept the names and continue with your happy marriage and forget our opinion because we will always say the name is wrong and he needs to stop. but remember it has always been like that from onset. You’re the one changing from what both of you agreed on before marriage. And this sudden change if care is not taken would push him out to get what he wants. He’s not cheating on you and do not give him a reason to
3) think deeply before taking your decision.
It is either you accept him calling you names and continue with the drama you both enjoy for S.e.x and you’re both happy at the end or refuse the whole names and drama thing and lose your marriage to another woman that would gladly accept the conditions.
My thoughts
Is this one marriage or what? Marriage that people have been enjoying,it got to your turn,just 7months and you people are already calling each other ashawo, bitch,olosho,mugu master,haaaaaa!
You are indeed naive and ignorant, will I say you are just too young for this because I don’t understand why you should be comfortable with this rubbish,he even called you names in public,yet,you see no harm in it .
Let me ask,how will you people cope after two years? When you start having children. You need to have a rethink if you still want to remain in such a dangerous marriage or not. Good luck
Wait ooo. In the presence of others he will call you those bad names too?. You are a woman for Godsake you deserve to be pet and call names like sweetie.queen. Angel and not all this ashawo,olosho and the rest. But if God start blessing you with children fa? . Abeg men I take God take beg una, don’t always think that you the husband is the only one that can cheat in a marriage if you want, the wife can also,so let not threaten them with they either respect your decision or their should take what ever you goes outside the marriage to do.
Madam it well with you oooo. You are so childish that’s why you can’t see the harm in those names now. Please tell him to stop.
a man who calls u an olosho doesn’t see u as a wife but a prostitute
first u are meant to understand u are first a woman ,created with dignity and a form of inherent value ,and calling someone a slut goes way against all of that ,even a hook up girl doesn’t want to be know as a prostitute talk more of a legally married wife which u are
does he sees u as a woman or he sees u as a prostitute ,the latter is what he sees u as
u made a mistake first accepting to be a called a prostitute it was demeaning ,
what has marriage turn to this day ?
he pick u on the street ,u dress like a nun ….crazy fantasies of a man who has use porn to destroy his orientation about women and love , this is why as a porn u need not to depend on porn ,it disenfranchised u from the real feeling of love ,what is being potray in porn this days is generally raping of the woman , porn send a strong message that disoriente man from true love to capital lust .
if ur man left u because u don’t want to be called a prostitute then he never love u ,he just use u ,so ur entirety is just for pleasure if not why would he threaten u like that ?
u don’t want to be called a prostitute u just want to be called a woman is that too much to ask for from a man who adores , cherish his woman , certainly he truly has a psychological problem.
u trying to please him against ur inherent believe would not in any way help u ,if he wants to have S.e.x outside let him ,it is because he has been fantasizing about it anyway that’s why he is thinking of it
if he wants a prostitute he should go and S.e.x with a prostitute
my advice to all women is as a woman it is advisable to check the mental health of the man u are marrying ,some men no well at all ,they just wear suit ,drive fine car but deep down they are very sick inside
I advise u get ur setlf esteem ,and self respect back and I believe u deserve that respect
u are married to a psychopath and he is lucky u married him ,and that alone should give u the respect u think u deserve.
olosho is a slut and it is the best degeneration of what a woman can be call
it is not different from calling that person a dog ,so a man who calls u an olosho sees u as a dog entity ,and that is bad
This is why some men will want to marry young naive girls that they can manipulate. Whatever he’s shown you during S.e.x is what you’ll think is normal but it isn’t. he has watched too much porn that has made him like that,and now he’s turned you into the same thing that he is. If you should leave that marriage,you will start missing all these nonsense you’ve been engaging in, in the name of, I loved how my ex used to do it. So he intends to call you these names in the presence of your children as well or what will your new name be? This is just stupid and childish. You need to disolve that marriage and do some growing up. You’ve not seen anything, by the time you’re 30, you’ll regret not acting now. And by the way, that man will cheat on you ooh, I can tell you that for free. Such S.e.xual appetite can’t be quenched by one woman. Especially after you start having kids. You will be left at home with the kids as he goes around looking for who to satisfy his high S.e.xual appetite. Abi you’ll be leaving the kids alone to go and stand on the street so that he can pick you up. Lolz. I swear you guys are not serious. This is a non issue, the real quarrel is yet to commence. Backle up….
Your husband definitely have a mental problem of some sort and he needs help and your naivety level is so high he took advantage of it. There is no love there, he will still cheat on you at some point, your marriage is just still young that’s why you think he’s capable of being faithful, people that want to explore every single thing NEVER get satisfied.
I think the first thing you need is Jesus Christ in your life. Repent and surrender your life to Jesus. Then, insist you are not accepting the derogatory names, for God’s sake, you are a peculiar treasure, you are an image of the Almighty God. Don’t you know there’s death and life in the power of tongue and you will eat the fruit thereof. Please let this nonsense stop immediately. If he truly loves you he will respect you.