True Life Story: My Wife’s Ambition To ‘Japa’ Is Destroying Our Marriage
Hello Lively Stones,
This thing about so many young people especially women wanting to travel abroad by all means is a big issue. I too, I am also experiencing it. When I met my wife two years ago, she was a fresh HND graduate and she told me her dream was to relocate abroad. I thought we were in love, so I promised her I would do my very best to get her dream of relocating come to pass. In fact, I swore I would send her abroad for her masters as soon as we marry.
Then after the marriage, I she started troubling me to start the abroad project. I told her to give me some time. In fact, this caused resentment in the marriage. It looked like she married me to get money for abroad. Reminding me that she agreed to marry me because I agreed to sponsor her abroad. I was wondering if having children was not on her radar and she said that will be after her masters abroad. I realized we should have discussed this before now…I did not like the idea anymore.
To make things worse, I did not have the kind of money she needed to do masters in Canada. So, I asked her to try UK….she was not given admission….next she wanted Australlia….I did not have enough money. I asked her to be patient…Next thing, she started making trouble that I deceived her to marry when I knew I could not sponsor her masters. The stress of this her abroad ambition made her miscarry our first pregnancy.
This made me very angry with her and we stopped sleeping with each other. Before I knew it, I started observing strange behaviors from my wife. Working late, working weekends, always on her phone, not talking to me or sleeping with me. Clearly, something else was occupying her. I asked her if she wanted us to separate cos I did not understand how we are married but not sleeping or talking to each other.
I went as far as talking to her parents and they begged me to be patient, that they will talk to her…which they did but nothing changed. Then, I decided to clone her phone and that was where I saw she was just flirting with one of the Directors in the company where she worked. I confronted her and she did not deny it. She only said, that they are not having s3x but the man likes her so she said she is just using the guy to gather money for her masters abroad.
This was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. I told her to leave my house but she would not, so I left. Its been four months since our separation….she is not bulging….she said its just for her to gather money for her future and so I should stop over reacting. That all her friends have travelled and wondering why she is yet to travel. I am at a point where I want to file for a divorce…the marriage is only 2 years old. So, here are my choices:
- Either I find the money to finance the masters abroad or
- Allow the relationship with her boss to continue until she can raise like 5M for her trip and masters abroad
- Or I file for divorce and end the marriage
I feel like my only option is no 3….what else can I do?
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