HomeAdviceTrue Life Story: My Wife's Ambition To 'Japa' Is Destroying Our Marriage

True Life Story: My Wife’s Ambition To ‘Japa’ Is Destroying Our Marriage


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True Life Story: My Wife’s Ambition To ‘Japa’ Is Destroying Our Marriage

Hello Lively Stones,

This thing about so many young people especially women wanting to travel abroad by all means is a big issue. I too, I am also experiencing it. When I met my wife two years ago, she was a fresh HND graduate and she told me her dream was to relocate abroad. I thought we were in love, so I promised her I would do my very best to get her dream of relocating come to pass. In fact, I swore I would send her abroad for her masters as soon as we marry.

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Then after the marriage, I she started troubling me to start the abroad project. I told her to give me some time. In fact, this caused resentment in the marriage. It looked like she married me to get money for abroad. Reminding me that she agreed to marry me because I agreed to sponsor her abroad. I was wondering if having children was not on her radar and she said that will be after her masters abroad. I realized we should have discussed this before now…I did not like the idea anymore.

To make things worse, I did not have the kind of money she needed to do masters in Canada. So, I asked her to try UK….she was not given admission….next she wanted Australlia….I did not have enough money. I asked her to be patient…Next thing, she started making trouble that I deceived her to marry when I knew I could not sponsor her masters. The stress of this her abroad ambition made her miscarry our first pregnancy.

ALSO READ:Should I Quit My Good Paying Job For Marriage Abroad?

This made me very angry with her and we stopped sleeping with each other. Before I knew it, I started observing strange behaviors from my wife. Working late, working weekends, always on her phone, not talking to me or sleeping with me. Clearly, something else was occupying her. I asked her if she wanted us to separate cos I did not understand how we are married but not sleeping or talking to each other.

I went as far as talking to her parents and they begged me to be patient, that they will talk to her…which they did but nothing changed. Then, I decided to clone her phone and that was where I saw she was just flirting with one of the Directors in the company where she worked. I confronted her and she did not deny it. She only said, that they are not having s3x but the man likes her so she said she is just using the guy to gather money for her masters abroad.

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This was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. I told her to leave my house but she would not, so I left. Its been four months since our separation….she is not bulging….she said its just for her to gather money for her future and so I should stop over reacting. That all her friends have travelled and wondering why she is yet to travel. I am at a point where I want to file for a divorce…the marriage is only 2 years old. So, here are my choices:

  1. Either I find the money to finance the masters abroad or
  2. Allow the relationship with her boss to continue until she can raise like 5M for her trip and masters abroad
  3. Or I file for divorce and end the marriage

I feel like my only option is no 3….what else can I do?

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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Dear poster, your wife is just being selfish and immature, she doesn’t know what life is yet, since she can go as far as flirting with her boss to save up money for her masters abroad, what do you think she would do when she’s over there…there’s no sign of remorse from her, wow, misplaced priority, you guys should have discussed this before getting married….since there’s no child involved yet, I will advice you let her go so as to avoid future pains later,..it is well bro…

  2. Oga you never marry your own wife,your own wife is still somewhere,pray to find her soon.

    It is well,it is not good to rush into marriage ooo,some women sha,just 2years and this is already happening. God will give you your own wife,amen.

  3. Sir ,ur wife thinks u are a fool ,infact in capital letter ,the boss is sleeping with her no man would give a lady that amount without sleeping with her ,when u are dealing with ladies understand that gentleness is the equivalent of stupidity ,they won’t tell u but that’s how they view u ,u left the house for her ,that’s terrible ,she doesn’t care about u nor does she cares about ur feeling ,she wants to go to Canada ,so she can manipulate her way and date a foreigner over there by so doing ,she would not come back only to send u sorry letter,if I was u I wouldn’t even grant her any admission ,God loves u that’s why the admission is not coming through for her , because he understands u Marry an opportunist instead of a lover ,which is why she doesn’t want to have a child ,
    If the marriage would not work u can end the shot( although I am against divorce) it is not by force , remember if she goes there she might not come back I tell u ,she is unapologetic to u , because she has weight u as somebody foolish enough to believe her lies

  4. An agreement is an agreement. Why did you make a promise you can’t fulfill? At least she told you about her dreams and you promised to make it happen. You should have allowed her to be with who would make it come true and not deceive her into believing you are financially capable. This is all your fault. Ask her what she wants so you both won’t waste each other’s time. Talk it out and make a choice. Don’t be selfish

  5. When I see what men post on this platform, I just know the men of this generation are weak and simps. From the beginning of your post, I just knew you are a simp and a weak men.

    When we tell you simps of female nature, you call us women haters, you want to send your wife abroad for masters, you all don’t learn, a man still posted his story few weeks ago how he did same the wife told him she has been cheating on him. You even told her to leave your house, and she didnt, but you left instead.

    Of cos why will she leave, when all through your dating her, you were putting her on a pedestal and simping for her, bro, you are a very weak man.

    She even told you she is flirting with another man so she can gather funds to go abroad, and you mentioned it in your post if you should allow get. Men fell off big time.

    Go read the manipulated man by Esther Vilar, you need that book, read other masculine books. Get them from pdfdrive.com.

    You won’t like my response, but we are men, we are brutally honest with the truth with other men cos we love men and want the best for them.



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