Hi Lively Stones,
I like the way advice is being given on Lively Stones blog. Please share my story while I await your advise in the comment section of the whatspp group. My fiancé lives in Lagos while I am in Abeokuta. After our wedding, I will be moving to join him in Lagos. We have been in a relationship for almost two months now. Everything is cool, he is nice lover and takes care of me. We visit each other every weekend or every two weekends and last Friday my fiancé was in town from 8pm.
After I prepared him a meal, we ate together, it was time for freaky time but unfortunately that morning, my period started and it was very heavy, so we could not make love. He was highly disappointed because he was really in the mood. He was like, I should have told him I was on my period so he would not have wasted his time to travel all the way and not get any action. I was surprised at his reaction. I even joking told him that its not his fault, after all, he is eating my ‘food’ when he has not even paid my bride price.
I asked him if its only S** that he wants from me, that cant we spend time together without S**? That night, I encouraged him to just kiss and caress, I ended up giving him a BJ that night. The next day, we spent together. I felt everything was cool but towards evening, he started making out with me and I noticed he was having an erection while we were making out again. I tried to use all my tricks, BJ, kissing, he was just not enjoying it, he said he wanted to have real S**, that he does not mind if I am bleeding, that I should remove my pad, cos he cant hold himself any longer.
I would not have minded to do as he asked but I was also having menstrual cramps so I told him I was feeling pains and I cannot do it. He got upset and started to dress up. I asked him where he was going and he shouted: out. Before I knew what was happening, he left and banged the door behind him. I started calling his line and he did not answer. I sent him messages too, no response.
Like two and a half hours later, he came back and went straight to sleep. All my questions about where he went to, he refused to answer or talk to me. I cried that evening cos I was thinking maybe he went out to sleep with a prostitute. The next morning, he started getting dressed that he is going back to Lagos. Usually, he goes back on Sunday afternoon or evening, never in the morning. So I realized he was still upset.
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So I blocked the door and insisted that he tells me where he went to last night. He was like, are you sure you really wanted to know? I said yes…he said: I think you already know…I cannot travel all the way from Lagos to Abeokuta and you tell me I cannot make love to you….I asked him, did you sleep with another woman? He said, I went to take care of my business woman. I told him that if he means he has slept with another woman, then we are done: I want a break up. He looked at me and said f*ck you.
This guy left and I cried for almost an hour. I was just imagining how 2 years of my life was now over…no more wedding cos I was on my period and unbale to give him S** for just one time. At night yesterday, he started calling and I refused to pick up. He later started sending messages that he is sorry….that he was just very horny and he got carried away with desire. I have not responded to him because I am thinking if this a sign that if we get married, if I am pregnant or sick or cant give him S**, then he will go outside.
When I asked him before he left that if we were married, would he cheat on me if we cant have S**…he actually responded by saying: he cannot remain in a marriage that his wife will not give him S**…that even in sickness, then it will be within his rights to go out and fulfil his desires….he said he was being real cos no guy will swear that they can stay without S** in their marriage. His response really hurt me.
Now, he is begging, saying he was talking trash all weekend…that he has had time to think and he knows he behaved like an asshole. However, I am still hurting from what happened this weekend. Plus, would you advise me to remain in such a relationship after what happened this weekend? Or is this something that men have to do in normal circumstances? Am I dragging this thing too far or is this a sign of a red flag in this relations?
My man is a good man, this is the first time he acted in such a rash manner but I wonder if he has been pretending cos this is the first time my mensural cycle will get in the way of our S** life. And he says this is the first time he ever cheated with a call girl just for S**. I need advice please, would you forgive him if you were in my shoes?.
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