True Life Story: The Worst Christmas Ever-Enemies Have Taken Over My Home
Dear Lively Stones,
Please pardon my writing in case its not coordinated…cos I am in transit, I am crying and I am very angry and pissed and angry and pissed…infact…I am very sad too. I feel like my enemies have finally won the battle over my life. I have been married for almost five years. But my marriage has been very challenging because I have not given birth and my mother inlaw and my husband’s siblings have made this marriage a living hell for me. I dated my husband for 7 years before we got married. During our dating, I got pregnant three times and he told me to abort because he was not ready to be a father.
Now, we have been married for almost five years, I have not been able to give birth. We have been tested severally and there is nothing medically wrong with both of us. Yet, his family never forgets to remind me that I am yet to give them a grand child because my husband is the first boy in their family, so they are eager for him to have a son that will carry on the family name. My husband and U have told them to leave us alone, until when God decide. I feel like God is even punishing us for all those abortions. I have fasted and prayed and gone for several deliverance.
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I know my husband loves me so he tries not to show his frustration but I know its paining him that nothing has happened yet. Last year, I spoke to him about IVF. He said we should be patient, that after five years, we can start. So, I started making enquiries and found out that the IVF thing is very expensive. My husband said he does not have that kind of money especially if its a process that cannot guarantee pregnancy. Yes, the doctor said IVF may not work depending on alot of things. So hubby said we should wait more.
Truthfully, I have been saving money for the IVF, so when we are ready, I too can add some money to what ever my husband has. Its been very hard, I wont lie. Sometimes, I fear my husband may be cheating…I see the look of desperation especially every time his mother calls him or any of his siblings come visiting. The snide comments like, we need a child in this house, hmm…our father’s name must not end in vain…or…..hmmm…any evil woman trying to tie our brother’s destiny…bla bla bla…..all these words get to me.
Every Christmas season is usually the worst because the family likes to have a get together every Christmas. They move it from one siblings house to the other every year. No one told me it was my husband’s turn to host this year. So, on Friday, my husband said he was going clubbing with some friends. I casually asked if I can come. To my surprise, he said yes. I have not gone clubbing in many years…at least not since the first year of our marriage. This child matter has consumed me.
So, it was a relief to go out with hubby and we had a blast. It reminded me of how we were before all our challenges. We both got drunk and f$cked like young singles without a care. I was flat out drunk when we got home early Saturday morning. So, we both slept in very late that Saturday. Until my husband’s phone rang and it was his mother. She was asking if I have done all the shopping and preparation for the family Christmas get together…my husband said he forgot to tell me. I pretended to be sleeping but I heard everything.
The next thing the woman said was she will organize everything. My husband did not object. Later, my husband woke me up to tell me about it. I panicked cos I was still a bit drunk…I was in no condition to start going to market that Saturday to start shopping for a big Christmas party in my house on Monday. So, I begged my husband to tell his family that someone else should host it cos am not feeling fine. He said ok. So you can imagine my shock, on Sunday morning, when my MIL came in with large bags of shopping.
This woman and her helps came into my home to start cooking for the party very early Sunday morning. I was confused. I asked why she was bringing food stuff to cook when I said I was not feeling fine. Ha…this woman insulted me. She said….that I am a good for nothing woman. That someone who should be concerned about giving birth, that I was busy clubbing and drinking and getting drunk…that I am useless, that I can’t even host the family. That I am bringing shame to the family. That I should step aside because she has come to take over her son’s house to save him from shame that his wife cannot cook for the family get together.
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That was not all, she said, this coming new year…she will no longer sit back and let this nonsense continue, that she will make sure, her son has a child with every power that is in this world. I was in such shock….I asked my husband why he told his mom that we went clubbing…he said the mom did not believe him when he told her I was sick. My husband said its ok…that I should allow the mom organize the cooking…that we should just bear with the family just for this Christmas.
When I told my hubby what his mom said, I expected him to talk to her but he said, for peace sake, I should ignore everything the mom said until after the get together cos he does not want any drama this festive period. I felt so hurt and humiliated. Not only has my mother in-law ruined Christmas for me, my husband refused to defend me. Right now, she is going about my house and my kitchen without respect for me. Infact, the women she brought to cook are disrespecting me too. She must have told them to do that.
I managed to put on a face and asked her mama, what can I do to help and in front of others, she said…nothing…go back and be drinking and get drunk and continue to damage your womb as you cannot give birth even to a common lizard. I swear to God….I wanted the ground to open and swallow me. I ignored her…..and went to join the lady washing tomatoes to join her…the woman said…please dont touch it….I became hysterical…I could not take it anymore….am crying now as I am writing this because I finally realized I cant take it anymore.
I went to my room and started packing….my husband was not around. I sent him a message that I am travelling to my parents for Christmas, that I wont be around to endure this pain his family will be giving to me during this Christmas. I was expecting hubby to call me and tell me not to go…that he will talk to his mom. But hubby did not call…he just replied…I understand babe…I think its best you stay away while my family is around…so you can stay with your folks until new year.
My God…I could not believe the text I got from hubby. Why did he not try to stop me from leaving? I am on my way to get a bus to go to Delta state right now but my mind keeps replaying the scenes and the response I got from my husband and I feel like I have been tricked….maybe their plan was to get me out of the house and they have succeeded. My enemies have won. Now, they have taken over my house and my husband is ok with that. I feel like turning back to go back but how do I fight this woman and her children on Christmas day? I have no one to back me.
Maybe this is a sign from God that this marriage is over…I don’t know what to do….I just want to d*e. I am tired of fighting. I am exhausted. This is the worst Christmas ever. Please advice me.
Anonymous
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*Merry Christmas and compliment of the season*
First Ur husband has wrong u wouldn’t lie to u ,one way or the other he is solely responsible for Ur predicament ,and let me make it crystal clear to u if he didn’t make u do all those abortion who knows u might not be talking about not having a child now
Now Ur husband turn u to a murderer and he is refusing to share in the shame that comes with it
Why would he fail to defend u when his mother backlash u ,while would he fail to rebuke his family when they shame u
It’s simple ,he has either failed to present u respectfully to his people and probably has made the child birth feel like it’s a problem from u
Because unless a man give his family the possibility of the opportunity to abuse and bad mouth his wife no one would ever ,ever do it
He has given his family the wild card to insult u ,and yes he doesn’t necessarily want u to leave but his actions says so
*I need space ,so I can think*
As a woman ,what u were expected to do was to let the cat outta the bag
When his family back mouth or talk I’ll of u ,u have the right and the audacity to tell the mother
The role her son played that made u probably not be able to conceive and yes u are not barren ,hlu had a child before he rejected it
Tell her the number of abortion u did for him ,if need be to make claim u ain’t barren
*Hey listen ,a close mouth is a close destiny*
As long as u remain quiet to her abuse ,u are giving her more vibe on giving and raining more insult on u
And u think the problem is with Ur mother in law no the problem is with Ur husband
First he has done his part woefully not giving u a good reputation to his mother
And two ,he has kept his dark secret to himself if I was him I would secretly open up my dealing with my woman how she did abortion for me ,so that she too would understand the pragmatic even of events that had occurred
And if it was her would she like her in law to do same to her daughter
How would I sit back ,mute myself knowing fully well that I have a hand in this misfortune
God forbid
And again u went to party for the first time in a long time and u had wild sex ,now imagine what possible has been going on when he goes out alone
Am not saying he is cheating ,but then one would begin to imagine ,the event that occurs when he goes out with friends to drink
His mother in law brought help ,u think they are helper
Common u should know better ,they are just potential rivals seriously
Infact their disgust towards u already is an expression
U made a big fowl leaving Ur home , because now u left Ur house ,Ur home Ur husband to the care of his mother and two other strange women
Who are waiting and willing to immediately replace u
Yes u shouldn’t leave ,it’s like leaving Ur goal post for the enemy to score
Those women do not want to be an house help for life ,they also want to be the madam of a house
And any small opportunity they see they would escalate their seduction on him , because he is a mummy’s boy chances are he would probably do what his mother advice him without discretion and now u are not more there to stop him
Stop that vehicle and go back to Ur house ,now and fast
The family u are going to see might not welcome u with open arms
Go back to Ur house ,before u give the keys to strange women
Stay ,wait if Ur husband ask why u came back ,tell him Ur bus spoilt
The fact he is reluctant to make u stay ,is because he is seeking to allow u go in the first place
U have every right to tell his mother what happened that cause everything
And if u must remain silent, then be ready to fight
Ur husband married u not his mother ,I believe it’s hight time to make it crystal clear to his mother
Not saying u should fight ,but it is Ur house Ur right
As long as he has not married another woman ,u remain the legal wife
Stay and if u leave u are reducing the chances of getting Ur husband back
Because u don’t know what would happen in the family reunion ,
Dear poster,this is not a case at all,you just need to be firm and let them know that this is your home .
Go back to your house now,go back and dey your lane,go back to your home and stop all these complain and crying,will crying solve anything?No
Abeg stop this your too- quiet kind of personality and face your fears,face them and let them know that you were pregnant while dating their son but their son asked you to get rid of them.
For me,there is no case here oooo,you better stop all these your childish behaviour,you want to leave your house for strangers abi,stay there, maintain your lane,no cross your boundary,just keep watching until they all leave then you can reset that your husband’s brain.
Mummy’s boy with no sense of reasoning and responsibility,a push about man,not even firm to defend or protect you from that his troublesome mother.
Stop crying,go back home and behave like the house owner, behave like the woman of the house that you are. The Lord shall bless your womb with babies,amen.
Keep saving for IVF, it’s well with you nwanyioma
Sister! Since your husband refused to act, I want you to turn back, get police or area boys to throw them out of that house, if they must come in, they must promise to be civil in their approach to you! Give them madness as much as you can! You’re too quiet for my liking!
Hello sis i feel your pain ….i pray this sit well with you, i want to encourage you allow them do what want for now….and you travel to your family……..since you prayed then whynot approach the issues in prayer of praise and let God handle them for you…..now after you need to sit with your husband and communicate your feelings of how he handled the situation……my two cent
I feel your frustration.
The occurrence is demeaning but you ought to defend yourself politely.
Some families would go to any length for a child but your resilience will conquer it all.
You shouldn’t have left the house.
You have your room, it would have been best to stay indoors and before your mother in-law leaves the party,then you make it open that you aren’t barren but had abortions which could be a cause of the delay.
Embrace your God and faith, keep.praying for God’s intervention.
Return home. It’s expedient you return and have room to take in.