HomeAdviceTrue Life Story: What Happened To My Girlfriend From Her Previous Marriage?

True Life Story: What Happened To My Girlfriend From Her Previous Marriage?


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True Life Story: What Happened To My Girlfriend From Her Previous Marriage?

Dear Lively Stones,

Please advise is needed. I am 29 and I want to settle down before I am 30. I am doing well for myself but relationship has not been ok. So, there are some ladies around me who I feel are good for casual relationships but not really for something serious. I look at my parents marriage, which was not a good example at all and I really want to do better….

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I need a lady that can build with me, someone who can have intelligent conversations and plan a future with me. I need someone who is fun, ambitious, loving, s3xy and nurturing. I know that is alot to have but that is what I see for an ideal wife…the girls I dated are lacking on all or some of these qualities. All girls want now is hook up, money and material things.

So, I met a lady in the gym last year. We got talking after attending some sessions together. I realize she was fitting into my picture of an ideal wife but she was not looking for a relationship when I tried to push for more. She said she is divorced and not ready for a relationship, she wants to concentrate on herself.

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Since then, we just remained gym acquaintances…just hi or hello kind of friend. Then some months ago, I saw she celebrated her birthday from her status message. So I chatted her normally to wish her happy birthday. I then asked her how she celebrated her birthday, she said she did nothing so I asked if I can take her out. She agreed. I was surprised she said yes so I planned an outing for her.

We went to a fancy restaurant and movies after. She was impressed from her reactions. One thing followed another, we ended up making out that day. That heightened my desire and attraction for her. Same for her, so naturally, the making out led to making love. That completely got me hooked on her.

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I like her alot and may already be falling in love too. She also says she is in love with me but she is still saying she will not get married again. I asked her why, but she say she does not want to talk about it. And that I should never ask her again. She also does not want to have children. She does not want to talk about why her marriage did not work out and does not want me to ever ask her again. Maybe she has not gotten over it or she does not want to open up to another person.

From our conversations, I have told her I really want this relationship to end in marriage but she says no more marriage for her. She is 33…she is four years older than me. That also is one thing that I think is making her say she does not want to marry me. Maybe she thinks age is an issue…I have told her its not an issue cos she does not look her age at all.

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This lady is fine…s3xy….everything any man will hope for. How do I get her to change her mind about marriage? I do not want to waste my time chasing shadow. Then I told her maybe we should stop hanging out if marriage is not on her radar…she said ok but I could not stop thinking about her…I have not been myself ever since. I want her every day and every minute.

Please is there any way I can change her mind please? We been together for four months now…I like our life together and I can see us having the best future together but once I say marriage, she like says never…why will such a young and attractive woman say no to marriage ever again cos of a bad marriage?

This lady is very secretive of her past marriage. I asked her if she has kids from the marriage and she said she cannot and will not talk about her marriage. If I even know why she does not want to have children, maybe I can even understand but she is so closed up. She is open to a non committal relationship. I am desperate but this looks like a situation I can’t do anything. Non committal is not good enough for me. Should I finally walk away or give it a little more time maybe she will change her mind?


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. She is not ready, she has not healed from her past relationships, marrying her the way she is will be a whole mess. Forget love and all the attraction, it will fly away if both get married now.
    I will say leave her, if it means you will totally disconnect from her, then do so if not, you will be badly hurt.

  2. She needs to get over her past marriage first.

    Oga please leave that lady alone oooo, so that she will not blame you tomorrow for getting married oooo,she already said NO to marriage.
    Look for someone else,this is to avoid stories that touches the heart,na marriage matter be this.

    Look for someone who is ready,you are 29,I just wonder the rush and she is even older.


  3. Dear Poster, thank you for reaching out to LivelyStones

    Let me be brief:
    You said in your post – “I do not want to waste my time chasing shadow. Then I told her maybe we should stop hanging out if marriage is not on her radar…she said ok but I could not stop thinking about her”

    Please, Do Not Waste Your Time Chasing Shadow !

    Discipline your emotions for her. Switch your mind on other things other than this lady and you will get over her sooner

    She’s Not for You !

    Peace be with You


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