True Life Story: Why Our Family Is Supporting Divorce After 2 Months Of Marriage
Hello Lively Stones,
I have been a silent member of Lively Stones for almost 2 years and I must say I have learnt quite a lot being here. May God continue to bless Mama Jzhane and all the Lively Stones family. My story is about my cousin. My cousin got married in February and has now returned back to her parents because the family said the husband is a ritualist.
My cousin is from a very religious home. Her parents, my Aunty and her husband are from a popular Pentecostal church but I don’t want to mention their name. They even wear their church banner, abi evangelical cloth everywhere they go, am sure you will recognize them. I feel like these people are extremists in their religious beliefs. They see and interpret alot of happenings as the cause of the spiritual world.
So, their eldest daughter, 26 years old graduate of mass comm got married in February this year. My mum forced all of us to attend the wedding in the village. After the wedding, we started hearing all kinds of gist about the man that Chinyere (not real name) my cousin married. The man married her from the village and took her to Lagos.
From day one, my cousin started reporting strange things about her husband to her family. My mother used to tell me what they were discussing about Chinyere’s husband in the family WhatsApp group. I was really disgusted because even though I may not be married, I feel newlyweds issues should not be brought to the family. The meddling will ultimately destroy their marriage.
From gossiping that the man drinks and he is not a true Christian, to that the fact that Chinyere said since she moved into her husband’s house, she has been having nightmares. That she feels something is wrong and maybe there is danger in the house. So, the family declared fasting and prayers for Chinyere’s marriage. Then, a few weeks after, there was rumor that the man was maltreating her…maybe beating her (we later found out that he was not beating her but forcing her to have the kind of s3x that she dislikes).
For me, I do not condone violence of any sort but prayers were fired. Many family vigils were organized. The next thing, they said Chinyere said she is no longer marrying. That she wants to return home, that the husband is a ritualist. How does she mean? She said, her husband forced himself on her anus and had anal s3x with her and so, as a believer, that is a sign of someone that is a ritualist.
And of course, her extreme parents agreed with her. They summoned the man for family meeting and the man came and told them that there they should mind their business and not get involved with the s3xual life of him and his wife. The family is enraged and threatening to take their daughter away. And Chinyere is pregnant.
So the parents have told the man not to engage in anal s3x again with their daughter or they will take her away and the man has said, they should take their daughter if they think they can dictate for him. The man explained that s3x is s3x….that there is no where in the bible that it says how a man should make love to his wife. To my family, this is like abomination, so my cousin is back home because the man tried again to have anal s3x with her.
The whole family is thrown into confusion. The girl is pregnant and back in her parents house. The husband has given her 2 weeks to return or he will send back her things and file for a divorce. My mother and all her family members have entered prayers. It was when I heard them praying against the spirit of Sodom and Gomorrah that I decided to bring this topic to lively stones.
Now, what do you think people, should my cousin have left her husband’s house because of anal s3x that her husband wanted ? Everyone is tying it to the bad dreams that my cousin is having, they say its an omen. An evil spirit in the man’s house that is controlling him and making him demand anal s3x and that means, he is a cultist or ritualist.
The girl’s father is also against divorce because they are believers and so, he said he has prayed and his daughter should return to her husband’s house and continue to pray from there for her husband to change but the rest of the family are against the idea. There is confusion everywhere….every night is prayer…die by fire kind of prayers.
I am really tired. Why is this matter such a big deal? I think the whole family interference is blowing this thing out of proportion…what is their business with the kind of s3x the man wants with his legal wife…if the wife does not like it…maybe she can find a way to talk to him instead of bringing the whole family into it. Maybe they should have allowed this young people to resolve this amicably. Is this right or just ignorance?
If the man says he likes anal and he wants his wife to give it to him, why is he wrong? Is that enough to make him a cultist and ritualist? Should that be enough to end a marriage that is less than 3 months old? When I asked my cousin why they did not discuss s3x before marriage, she said its a sin according to their church…they never discussed it at all…not to talk of having s3x…so its like a shock for her. I do not know what to tell her.
Please advice my cousin. She is sad, crying everyday…I told her I will share her story here to get other peoples view. Is God going to support divorce based on anal s3x? What you you all think?
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