Why I Broke Up With My Fiancé This December-My Feelings Got Carried Away-Pt 2
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We had one more night before the project ended…we could not wait to get the hotel and we made mad love like two rabbits…the next morning…we had a brief meeting with the team before we ended our assignment. And the team travelled back to base that day.
We both went straight to a hotel when we landed back home. Switched off our phones and stayed in a hotel for another 2 days. We both did not want this to end. We talked about life…how life can be unfair…we wished things were different…maybe if we were both single…I know we were both being silly and unrealistic with the situation but that was how we both felt.
He told me he would go and ask his wife for a divorce…since she was no longer even interested in him. Although divorce was something he never wanted cos he was raised in a Christian home…his faith is against divorce …but we both found love and happiness…all these while…I cannot lie…I did not even think of my fiancé.
It was like…I realized that he and I were not as passionate as me and my colleague….I think I realized that I was actually settling in my intention to marry this guy…he is a cool gut but we are different in alot of things. For example….he is not romantic…he does not initiate intimacy…I like a man that cuddles and is observant of my emotions…
He says he was not raised like that but I been managing him that way. But being with my colleague…I realized I could actually that I missed being pampered…being cuddled…I know all men cannot be the same but I just found myself falling uncontrollably for those traits I so desired in my own man…
We parted ways two days later. I could not wait to receive his call that day…there was no call or text from him. I called and texted him…no response. The next day being a Sunday…I was so restless…he still did not call me…I imagined his wife was around…what if they were making love…what if they were making up…I was green with envy…
My fiancé came to see me. I pretended to be fatigued from the trip. The next day, I rushed to work….I wanted to see him…find out why he did not call me after we parted on Saturday. He was not at work….around 10am…word came to our office that he had been involved in an accident on his way home on Saturday. A truck ran into his car and crushed him…He died on Saturday night.
My whole life ended….I could not even cry at first…when I found my tongue…all I could think of was: we were being punished for committing sin…we committed adultery. I wish he and I did not go to that hotel…maybe he would still be alive…I have been crying uncontrollably….I miss him so much…why death…why? He was just 40.
Oh God please forgive him…forgive us….I feel so terrible and I know that I cannot tell anyone what we did…I think of his children…the guilt that kills me ….the day he was buried…I contemplated suicide…and now, I also feel I do not deserve to get married to my fiancé…I wronged him too… so I broke up with him.
Well, I did not expect him to try and get me back…he says he still loves me and I should give him a second chance…I told him …its not him but me…that I wronged him…and I am so ashamed that I cannot tell him…and I cannot freely marry him…he then said if I cheated on him…I wanted to say yes…but I did not trust myself…so I said no…
If I said yes…I would not be able to hold myself from confessing….and exposing myself and perhaps, people will find out I slept with my colleague and caused his death…this is a secret and burden I have been bearing for the last one month…
My family has called a meeting to find out why I broke up my engagement…I do not want to go cos I do not know how to be tell them the truth…and I cannot lie…my fiancé sent me a text yesterday that he loves me too much to loose me…that no matter what I did…even if I cheated…he forgives me….wow….him saying that…that he forgives me…
I do not know what to do anymore…my fiancé must really love me…to forgive me for anything even cheating…he has not stopped begging me…maybe I should ….should I confess to him to free my burden….will he still forgive if he learns I had an affair that led to a death?….or should I just keep quiet and get married and forget everything that happened? Will I be ever able to find peace of mind ?
Please advise me…
Anonymous
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The thing is who said it was the affair that caused his death ? I think you need to open up ,though it’s not always easy but that’s the way forward
This story really got me emotional, haaaa,this is a lesson for those who commit adultery…you can die even in the act..wat will u tell God? My sister I feel u should open up to ur fiance,he may be able to help you out of this traumatic experience, and don’t be too hard on yourself…. You regret it,plead for mercy from God and he will forgive u…..
You need to forgive yourself and have it at the back of your mind that if you tell your fiance you may lose him forever. Men don’t forgive infidelity as well as women do. If he accepts you after the confession then good and fine but please don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s not the affair that caused his death.
Do take care of yourself love.
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You did not cause his death please.
Ask for forgiveness from God and move on.
Some secrets are meant to be taken to the grave
As God for mercy and forgive yourself, then look at the bright side that you gave him those beautiful moment before he passed on and move on with your life, tell your fiance if he still wants to marry you after telling him fine, if not move on with your life
Really?? Beautiful memories that was sin?
I’m shocked like you too that someone could say that..it shows how people have embraced adultery, and you will see some of these folks in churches claiming I’m
a Christian. Its is pathetic
You didn’t cause his death please. Try and calm your mind. I think you need to see a therapist to help you deal with this trauma. It is essential for your mental health.
Tell your Fiance to give you sometime to deal with your emotions. You need to really find your feet and have a clear head to reason what you truly want in a man.
Marriage is a choice and choosing whom to marry is a decision of commitment. Even when you marry you will still meet people that are more charming, polite, romantic etc than your partner. Your partner is not there to fulfill your every desire in man. He is your partner because you chose him amongst many. So stick to your choice.
Finally change your ways and don’t be too impulsive or carried away by emotions. You are matured enough to say NO.
Thank you dorid for that some secrets we lft taken to the grace..people are not to be trusted even your family…so it’s better u ask God for forgiveness and move on.this kind of secrets are not to be said but taken to the grace…look at the fcmb boss…if the wife of tunde hadn’t confessed…tunde wld still be alive and no one wld av been hurt…I wish u goodluck
So you encourage adultery right. Instead of us to forcefully kick out adultery and condemn it totally, we always have a way of romancing adultery…terrible
That’s why, anytime I read a post here the first thing I condemn is S.e.xual immorality, my dear sister, you never loved that man, you only lusted after him, I always tell people adultery can never be a mistake, that man committed adultery,I wonder what is judgment will be, I will never give excuse for adultery, let’s stop excusing adultery, that sin takes people to the hell. And his wife too I’m sure will still be sleeping with that wicked friend of his after his burial, I tell folks you can’t trust people, but they don’t understand, your friend sleep with your wife, see how men and women commit adultery and people still keep saying trust your wife and husband its only a cliche, its not in the bible to trust people. This is a lesson to all those that commit adultery, you never know when death calls you…let us condemn adultery in its totality…sister I won’t be surprised if the dead man’s death has something to do with him sleepin with you, adultery is more than we think it is..hmmmm,so sad he died in his adultery.. Big lesson