HomeAdviceI Am Overwhelmed With Guilt & Lust Over My Sister's Husband-Pls Help

I Am Overwhelmed With Guilt & Lust Over My Sister’s Husband-Pls Help


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I Am Overwhelmed With Guilt & Lust Over My Sister’s Husband-Pls Help

Please keep my identity very confidential. I am only confiding in you because I do not know who else to talk to. If you post this,make sure you protect my identity please. I am completely ridden with guilt and its killing me inside so badly my head wants to split.

The thing is, my younger sister and her husband got married in December last year. They had a problem with the apartment they were supposed to move into. They got duped by some scam estate agents.

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Being newly weds and having spent all they had on the wedding, they had no money to rent another apartment in lekki (not real location)here. They were desperate and stranded,I had to offer them my place to stay.

I live in a well furnished one bedroom self contained. Been married people,I let them take my room while I got a foldable mattress to sleep in my sitting room. Things have been difficult for them but as family,we manage.

Especially with privacy. I mean, I sacrificed my bedroom for them. Changing in the bathroom was my only option if the husband was in the bedroom. Then,came corona virus (covid-19)shut down. We were all stuck in the house together.

It was hard for me as most times,I could not ignore their love making moans. It’s driving me crazy and made me horny most times. To be honest,I felt they were a bit insensitive but I was just being the good host.

So,I would take out my vibrator and pleasure myself when it became too unbearable for me. I know,I am ashamed to even admit what I just did. But I am a single lady and I am still trusting God for my own husband…that does not mean I have not got needs.

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I did a good job hosting them and pretending they were not inconveniencing me but what else could I do? She is my little sister. Will I allow her and her husband to live with strangers or on the streets?

One night, I thought they had fallen asleep after their normal noisy love making session,I got out my vibrator and I was so engrossed with myself that I did not notice that my sister’s husband came out of the room and was watching me. He must have wanted to go to the kitchen or something when he walked into me in my shame.

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As he tiptoed away,I felt someone passing and I quickly tried to cover myself. We both knew he had seen me. He just said sorry and hurried away. I was so ashamed of myself. I wanted to run out of the house.

The next day,we both did everything to avoid each other that my sister almost noticed. He later sent me a text that we should stop acting weird around each other before my sister noticed. He promised my secret was safe with him. I was relived.

Life went on normally. They have been raking in money to try and find a new apartment so they can move out. They been going out every weekend for house hunting but houses are pretty expensive on the island.

Towards the end of June, my little sister had left the house one very early Saturday morning before I woke up. I actually thought both of them left because that has been their routine every Saturday. I woke up and the house was empty. I was feeling horny (again…after enduring their torture from last night)

I brought out my tool and was helping myself. I must have been making some sounds cos I thought I was alone. Not up to 5 mins,I felt a hand rest on my hand. I opened my eyes in shock and it was my brother inlaw…my little sister’s husband.

I tried to rearrange myself but he decended on me with his lips. I fought him off but I was too weak..too alreay aroused…all my no was too weak for him to stop. I am so ashamed but my little sister’s husband made love to me right there in my living room.

Of course,our both senses were lost in lust. He kept saying he had not stopped thinking of me since he saw me pleasuring myself weeks ago. He said he was really turned on by me using a toy on myself.

It was wrong but it felt so right. I needed it…my body needed it…I had been tortured too much too much by the sound of their love making that I could not resist. It was like watching porn and not being able to resist the temptation after.

We both felt so bad after day. We are both ridden with guilt and condemnation. It was a big mistake and can never happen again. I have been praying to God to deliver me from this temptation.

They still have not found a place…I still masturbate with my toy thinking about their love making…I still crave my sister’s husband…I believe he does crave me too because he had been acting so formal around me. He tries to spend time outside before coming back home.

I need help. I am running crazy. They need to leave my house…how do I tell my sister that they need to leave without exposing the reason why? I am tired of pretending…sometimes I feel like confessing to my sister…maybe then,I would be able to free myself.

You see…since no one knows yet…the temptation is so strong. I do not want this to happen a second time. I feel my sister will find out about this one day…I am so dead confused…my life has been turned upside down.

I do not have anyone to stay with,that is without raising suspicion …I would have moved out. My poor little sister..she does not know how irrestible her husband is…he sometimes looks at me…and I just forget the concept of right or wrong..

I even sometimes fantasize stealing him from her…or joining them in a threesome..(am only telling you all these dark thoughts because you are a counselor…I will never admit this to any living person other than you or a priest)

I know this is wrong…he wants me still…that I know very well….Now…what the f**k am I supposed to do…

Please help me…curse me if you like but I need advise all the same….I feel my strength is failing me and my sister may soon discover from the way I am reacting…


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Its a pity that you have done this,pls forgive yourself first,you really have to forgive yourself then after that ask God to forgive you, He is a merciful God.Help your sister to move out from your house as quick as possible, I repeat if it means helping them look for a house or giving them money,pls they need to move out.And do not see your sister’s husband ever again,unless you want to place a curse upon yourself,let me assume the first was a mistake, it is well with sis,I love you.

  2. I am not able going to judge you but blaming your sister and husband for being insensitive.. talk to your sister’s husband let them be fast in their search..you don’t have to tell your sister but never try that again…

  3. Thank you for taking up the courage to write us. No one is going go curse you. You acknowledged that what you did was wrong and considering the circumstances surrounding it. I wish you had a place to stay that would been better .

  4. Your sister and husband ain’t sensitive enough to know you would be affected in one way or the other….Who am I to judge you? This can happen to anybody…Please talk to your sister’s husband, he would understand what you are going through…

  5. Hello big Sister,
    Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s a candid step towards total deliverance and peace of mind.

    First and foremost, relax !
    Relax your mind….don’t get worked-up….be yourself….be normal as normal can be !!

    Secondly, encourage your guests (your sister and her husband) to hasten up to re-locate as soon as possible, fast !
    You can also assist them by all means to find a suitable apartment.

    Thirdly, you need some determination and self-discipline here….real self discipline…to avoid feelings/cravings for your brother in-law. Don’t allow lusts to cloud your mind and sanity. Avoid him and if he comes around you for such ungodly approach, let him know frankly that what happened between you was a gross mistake which should Never have happened…..and WOULD Never happen again. Mean it !

    Above all, you will need God….. confess to Him and asks for His forgiveness. Pray for His help at this trying times and His provision for your own husband. He answers prayers !!!

    May the Lord comfort you, sister. It is Well.

    God bless. Cheers !!

  6. U should tell the husband that they must leave or else u re going to tell his wife, cos with what happened nd still hundred percent can take place again u just need to start it this way with him alone nd see if u can win. Let’s forget abt the past unless u like what is going to happen again nd he may nt be planing to leave yr house nd don’t be surprise even if hethey leave with what u have started within yr self’s fr u must nt let all yr charity turn to yr plans u must nt let the fort come frm u remember this is yr blood sister…

  7. My deed has been done. Forgive yourself and ask God for forgiveness. Never ever have S.e.x with him again. Raise funds for them if possible and tell them to move out. Tell your sister you got a boyfriend and his coming and you need your privacy. Call the two together and inform them that you need your privacy and they can look for another Apartment. She is your sister she should be able to reason with you. All the best pls don’t fall that man again. He is a spoiler.

  8. Hello,

    I would say this is a matter of emergency. You know your strengths and weakness…s*x is definitely a weakness for you because all the reasons you gave for allowing your brother inlaw sleep with you is just not acceptable.

    No one is judging you but s*x with a married man is crossing the line…he is even your brother…yes,…brother inlaw is equivalent to your brother and sleeping with him is as good as incest.

    So as a matter of urgency, ask your sister and her husband to leave. Make up any reason for them to leave…let her think you are being unkind….but she has to leave. Give them a one month period to move out.

    On your part…move into a hotel or a friend’s place or relative’s place until they leave.

    So not spend one more day in the same roof as your brother inlaw.

    You also need to ask God for forgiveness and find the courage one day…maybe in the future to ask your sister to forgive you.

    Your sister deserves to know the kind of man she is married to. It may be that he likes this kind of lifestyle and your sister is unaware.

    I do not know how you can tell your sister …maybe anonymously….but try and be a better sister to her by being truthful and protect her for that man’s lies.

    You need to take action fast…because…its only a matter of time before you sleep with him again if they do not move out.

    Be smart….mistakes do not just happen…that man wants to ruin you and your sister.

    God bless you.

  9. Huhmmmm it serious ooo… you are super kind to even accommodate a newly wed couple and true it not easy body no be fire wood with their sound it enough to make you fall, when temptation becomes too much human tends to misbehave and that is what you have done so plz forgive your self and try all your best to remove your mind from the husband and then call them together as someone said gove them an ultimatum 1month sef is too much 3 weeks they should find somewhere else even if it òn the mainland even face me I face you house anywhere you have tried from last yr december haba you have over tried sef let them know u arent comfortable anymore and plz help them with little money that you can help them with and let them know there sounds disturbs you at night ..cook up a story about ur bf wanting to come see you and spend weekend .. you are old enough to have ur man so they should understand


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