Is My Cheating Ex Better Than My Stingy Boyfriend? Pls Advise.
Hello ma,
I need your advice. So, I am a relationship with someone. Its been like 4 months and I am already thinking this is a mistake. Why? Before we met, I used to in a relationship that lasted four years.
That relationship was the best time of my life. That was because we were best friends. We actually were planning to get married but something happened which I couldn’t get over. My ex is a producer and the major issue in our relationship was the attention he gets from other females.
However,he always assures me of his faithfulness. Until he made a mistake and got some hookup lady pregnant. I was totally broken and I could not forgive that. It took me almost a year to heal and eventually move on.
I met my boyfriend 6 months ago and he is into Finance but I think he is quite stingy. He is nice and kind but he also does not believe in spending money on things that he does not consider as necessary.
I make my own money so I really do not mind that he has his principles on finance. I buy what I like to buy as long as I can afford it. The only annoying part is,he makes you feel bad for spending money on luxury things.
I used to laugh at him that he is ijebu and he needs to change his perspective on life.It was my birthday last week and would you believe my boyfriend didn’t buy me any gift? His excuse was that he was broke and that he would make it up when he gets paid.
I felt he was just being stingy cos how can you not celebrate the girl you are with for the first time? I was upset ..not even a cake or anything…but I kept my cool. That day,my ex called me to wish me happy birthday.
My ex asked if I am having a great time and I told him it was my worst birthday as I was not even celebrated by my boyfriend,despite all the gifts and calls from everyone. He later sent me a lovely cake,money and rose flowers.
I was a bit embarrassed that my ex did all that so I called him to say he should not have done that cos its not right but he said he just wanted to make me happy…nothing much. When my boyfriend saw the things my ex bought,he just went off and started saying I was cheating with my ex.
I got really offended and told him he was over reacting. He said he cannot be with me if I still talk to my ex. I told him I don’t talk to my ex but its my birthday and he called…I did not see why I should have ignored his call.
Since that last week,my boyfriend has been acting weird. I told him he is over reacting and feeling inferior cos my ex did what he was supposed to do. And the next thing he said was,then go be with your ex. He broke up with me.
Honestly,maybe its for good cos I do not think we may be compatible. But since two days now,he is being begging me to forgive him…that he got so jealous and felt he over reacted …which I believe he did.
But this whole incident is making me think that I should actually try and make up with my ex….cos he may still care about me. And I feel he knows me better cos we were best friends. This my short relationship with this my boyfriend is making me see that my ex is way better for me.
My ex is not perfect but he did treat me like a queen for our four years of dating…meaning four months of dating this new guy feels like quarrel every week. Should I go back to my ex and work things out or stay with this my new boyfriend to try and work things out?
I need your advise…
Anonymous Email Post
Photo Credit:Oprah
Share this story
Dear poster,
The truth is your ex understands you love language, which is a very beautiful thing but not enough reason to be with him.
Can you boldly say he would not keep other women and a repeat history of another baby mama won’t surface?
As for the current ex, he has issues with spending, have you tried to understand why he is the way he is, if it’s something you can help him with? The truth is a man that can’t spend on you in this phase, don’t even bother expecting it in marriage only if a miracle happens in his life.
So my point, both of them don’t seem compatible for you based on your write up. I would advise you maintain friendship with them and move on.
You don’t have to settle for either of the men.
Always know, you can’t change anybody. It’s a personal decision.
So don’t think he would change when we get married, he would only become worse, it takes conscious and active effort for marriage phase to be far better than dating phase. It doesn’t just happen with time.
Both men have serious issues which I think you need a break from. Dating for four years? What’s the aim of these relationships? Fun or marriage? A cheating spouse is not the best neither is a stingy one. Please take a break and do an evaluation of what you really want.
Hello,
This story is not right. Like why do some guys behave like this? You date someone and the first ever birthday you dont celebrate her? Celebration does not mean you spend the whole world on her..
It could be spending time with her or sending a love poem or doing something special…why ask her to understand when you clearly dont understand…thats a red flag…if he can treat first birthday like this…..how will he treat subsequent birthdays? Remember,its not really about the action…its about the thought…the attention….
I would say,dont go back to the cheating e and also leave this dude who is not emotionally connecting with you….let him keep his stingy ass to himself. Love is about giving and sharing memories.
If you cannot give….even give time and effort…then stick to yourself.
Going back to your ex is of no important becos he is not faithful and been with a stingy man will not help you. Why not wait patiently for God’s will to be done in your life instead of going here or there
[…] help my friend suggest very good flimsy excuses to dump her hardcore stingy but very good […]
[…] ALSO READ:Is My Cheating Ex Better Than My Stingy Boyfriend? Pls Advise […]