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True Life Story: Fear Women-My Wife Who Refused To Forgive My Mother Now Wants My Forgiveness-Pt 2

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True Life Story: Fear Women-My Wife Who Refused To Forgive My Mother Now Wants My Forgiveness-Pt 2

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I insisted and held my wife so tight until she said…she has to confess…that our first child was not really mine…it belonged to her ex…she mistakenly slept with him a month to our wedding. She found out two weeks after our wedding that she was pregnant…she panicked and sent him a voice note.

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Later she decided to delete the voice note, she told him it was a mistake but the guy refused to believe her…he told her he would keep her secret cos he does not want to destroy our marriage but that she must let the child know he has a different father when the child is 18. My wife said she agreed. But when she lost the baby…she did not tell her ex….

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That the ex found out about the baby recently and he is suspecting that we found out about the paternity of the baby and decided to murder the child. This ex has been calling and sending her threatening messages. That was why she put off her phone. However, he used different numbers to call her. Now, he is warning her to prove the baby was not murdered or he will take legal action against her and me. My wife said she tried to explain that it was no one’s fault that the baby died but this man has refused to believe her.

As for me…I could not believe this incredible story…I was flabbergasted….so my wife planned with her ex to pin their baby on me? What if that is the reason the baby died? God is watching them….and since then….maybe that is why she refused to forgive my mom? Maybe she is still in love with her ex and she feels the loss of their child? I am confused. I have run DNA test for my two children and yes, they are mine but I cant get over what my wife did….

My wife has begged me and confessed that she was confused….the mistake s3x with her ex happened when we had a one week break…I actually called off our wedding six weeks to the wedding…she was in a bad shape and she went back to her ex…and it happened….but she did not tell me…instead trusted her ex to keep the baby a secret until the child is 18 years old…oh …God is watching o…women!!!…ha….women …see what my wife was hiding from me?

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My wife refused to forgive my wife for the herbs that k#illed the baby yet she expects me to forgive her for lying about a baby that never really mine? I have been speechless since this revelation…two days ago…I and my wife were served with petition to explain what happened to the dead baby. The petition is alleging that I found out my wife is gave birth to another man’s baby and conspired with my mother to k#ll the baby.

I am mad and upset. I am the victim here. I was lied to….yet, I am being accused of murder….I have engaged my lawyer to respond to the petition but in my head…I am wondering….what am I going to do with my wife? Forgive her? The same woman who could not forgive my mom? Imagine what my mom would say when she hears the child they accused her of murdering is for another man? Won’t people say its because she lied that caused the death of the child?

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Now I feel my wife was the one who told her ex that the baby was murdered…maybe she did it cos she was angry with my mom but how can I trust her ever again? The same woman who could not trust me but she trusted her ex? I am very worried that my marriage is headed to the rocks…Fear women…I have done nothing but love my wife…yes, she is truly sorry…is she truly and really sorry? She has finally agreed to forgive my mom but this one is too big for me…

Help me…advise me…what would you do if you are in my position?

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

11 COMMENTS

  1. Dis ex matter ehn I don’t even understand, so because wedding was called off it was only her ex she could find solace from? Didn’t d wedding eventually hold at d end of d day but she has already has sex mistakenly. I just hope d man and d mother comes out of dis safe and not suffer for wat dey don’t know about, karma is real and it no dey tey these days, d wife was wrong on all accounts she has no excuse at all

  2. Hmmm.
    Am really speechless.
    Your wife messed up. Big time.
    Wow.
    This “ex” matter is really causing havoc in some homes.

    Dear Poster, what can I say?
    Firstly, thank God the 2 children you have now are yours.
    You will need to forgive your wife. Yes.
    Forgive her.
    This incident will put her in a very disadvantaged position as a wife. She has lost every right and dignity ascribed to a wife in that marriage. Her conscience will make sure of that.

    You need to put your anger aside and fight the law suit first. God will vindicate you.

    Since your wife has apologized and made peace with your mother, forgive her
    There’s no need to escalate the matter by telling your mother or any other family member. It will cause more harm than good. With time when you are healed, they will not be. They will continue to remember and might even say the other children are not yours and add spices to the story. So, please, don’t take the story out .

    I pray God gives you the fortitude to forgive your wife.

  3. You need to tell your mother and your entire family the truth because your mother deserves to know that she is innocent and not a murderer. Your wife is wicked and you need to divorce her for the sake of your life. Your wife will do everything in her power to cover this secret and she may even kill you and anyone that knows. Divorce her now and tell the world what happened because she can plan with her ex to lie on you and the world will believe her because she is a woman. Remember: women are innocent until proven guilty. Men are guilty until proven innocent. Your wife never loved you and she will always love her ex. You were the guy she settled for. That is the honest truth. I will rather tell you the truth than lie to you.

    • Your response is harsh, am not saying that because am a woman. The wife did very wrong by sleeping with her but it can also happen to anyone. But mine is that she wasn’t smart enough. She wouldn’t have told her ex that she was pregnant for him, all these saga wouldn’t have happened. If the man can, let him forgive her. But I wonder how the woman will feel like to continue living with the man, cos forgiveness is easy but forgetting is very difficult.
      May we not find ourselves in such situations.
      Before you cheat as a man or woman, ask yourself this question, after this five mins of pleasure what next?

  4. Dear poster so sad that things pans out this way in your marriage and family

    And No doubt Your wife messed up everything especially the relationship and trust

    But on the contrary The error made was since the child was critically ill and wasn’t getting better

    They should have returned for further diagnosis and treatment in the hospital or else where

    Herbs wouldn’t have been considered until the baby is stable that’s wisdom

    Because the baby’s immune as at that point is too low anything can trigger the baby status at that moment

    That aside there’s always something to be grateful for at least you have children that are yours

    To err is human to forgive is divine without any doubt everyone is definitely hurt and in serious pain at the moment it’s on you as the man to Do what you feel is best for your life. If you want her in your life or not

    But remember she has other children for you and separation is never easy due to the fact that the children will be the ones to suffer the most, this might probably be an indication that she wasn’t sleeping with her ex anymore after the first mistake before the marriage but they were only in touch because of his baby so She might have cheated on you before marriage but not in the marriage so think about it

    So for now You need to put your anger aside and fight the law suit first, now her ex has no evidence scientifically that baby is his, he has no evidence that the baby was murdered etc beyond that The ex already lost the case because everyone will given fair hearing in court and it will settle amicable in court or outside court so don’t be afraid or scared.

    Lastly I feel you and your family need God now than ever on this matter especially to heal and push through this trial moment, Trials develop godly character, and that enables us to “rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. 

    However, we must be careful never to make excuses or judgement for our “trials and tribulations” if they are a result of our own wrongdoings. God will forgive our sins we still have to suffer the natural consequences in this life for our sins and bad choices. But God uses even those sufferings to mold and shape us for His purposes and our ultimate good. My dear poster let God and godly counsel be your guide on the matter not your flesh alone.

    I wish you and your family the peace and harmony that you both sole deserve

  5. The murder case is a serious criminal matter. You should both get good lawyers to assist you. Additionally, you need to forgive and stay strong for yourselves now. It’s indeed a trying time for your family. Let Madam’s past remain in the past.

  6. Does the ex have prove that the child is his?

    Is the ex ready to get the court to exhume the dead baby corpse and carry out a DNA? Is he willing to bear the expenses

    Is the ex ready to prove that the baby was intentionally killed?

    Has the ex sued as a civil or criminal case? In this case, he can’t jump to civil as the Police will need to do their work.

    For me, the ex is only wasting his time.

    For the man, irrespective of anything, you have to forgive your wife. But accepting to continue the marriage is a choice you ll have to make. Because you have to be mentally, spiritually and psychologically ready to live with your wife if you want her to remain with you. Outside this, you have a choice of a separation.

    God will give you as the man wisdom to do the right thing in Jesus Name.

  7. Please forgive your wife for not revealing the parternity of the child, don’t loose these two beautiful children you have and your home.

    Like you said, you called off the wedding. She went back to her ex and did not know she was pregnant until after the wedding.

    Get good legal advice to respond to her ex and please stand by your wife at this trying time.

  8. Assuming the child did not pass away, so after 18yrs of caring for a child a man will walk through my door to lay claims on a child I have raised for over 18yrs? I can’t even imagine that. That woman is wicked and desperate. Divorce her with immediate effect. She is not even remorse.

  9. My only piece of advice is that, the man should file a divorce suit through his lawyer, that is the only remedy, bcuz had it been the baby she had for her ex didn’t died, she would have connived with her ex to terminate the life of the innocent husband since he has been begging her to forgive his mother which she vehemently refused

  10. Please, divorce her immediately. So, she will be in steady contact with her ex until the baby is 18 years. And this innocent will be training another man’s son until one the ex comes around one day to claim the parternity of the child. Then, the man will the choice of suicide or murder?

    Please, divorce her immediately!

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