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True Life Story: How My Husband Convinced Me To Spice Up Our Marriage

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True Life Story: How My Husband Convinced Me To Spice Up Our Marriage

A note to our readers, the story below contains some description of s3xual orientations that may be unakin to some. Reader discretion is advised.

Hello Lively Stones,

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Please hide my identity. My story may be offensive to some but I am not seeking to offend anyone… I am a desperate woman trying to save her marriage. I believe this platform will not judge my actions but appreciate my situation. I am a woman who believes that marriage is for better or worse. My parents were married for 47 years before my dad died and my mom did not remarry again. I have been married for 16 years, I got married really early, at age 23 while my husband was 35 years.

When we got married, our s3x life was great. My husband and I used to even film our s3x life. It was exciting and fun. We did not have a conventional marriage but we were happy. My husband was a very carefree man. A ladies man, he flirted sometimes but it was nothing serious. My husband and I did not have any issues but after about 12 years of marriage, the s3x drive of my husband started diminishing while mine started increasing in my late thirties.

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At first, it was not an issue because I thought he was getting tired from stress at work but I caught him one day masturbating and when I confronted him, he apologized and said he does not know what is wrong with him. I prayed and fasted with him, he said he never does that anymore but our s3x life did not improve. As an understanding wife, I left my husband and decided to take him as he is.

So whenever he wants s3x, I allow him….and this is like once in a month  until it became, once in five months and today, we don’t even have s3x anymore. I have tried to understand it. I concluded that maybe he has a side chick outside. I also concluded that maybe its the age bracket between us. All these happening, did not stop my husband from being a good dad to our children and he still was a good husband to me except in the area of s3x. At this point, I accepted my fate.

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I used to hear stories of couples who lived many years together but they are not intimate and I accepted mine had become one of them. I know my parents were not that intimate too in their old age. In my head though, cheating on my husband never came to mind. Yes, I have urges. I invested in toys. My husband was aware. He bought some of the toys. Sometimes he uses the toys on me too. He used to enjoy watching me pleasure myself. We have accepted our fate. We are happy, no one is fighting anyone.

Around August of last year, my husband asked me if he can ask me for a favour, I said what is the favour, he said, he would like to watch another man have s3x with me. At first, I thought he was testing me, so I told him God forbid, it can never be me. He told me he was serious and I told him not to worry…that I am not interested. Then he started sending me adult movies of men who watch their wives with other men. I knew this was not right but this was coming from my husband…how do I make him see this is not right?

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I tried several times to explain to him that what he is desiring is called s3xual fantasies but that does not mean he should actually go through with it. He said he is my husband and he is giving me permission….that there is nothing wrong in it. We argued on this for two whole months. He argued that the reason our s3x life was bad was because we are not fulfilling our s3xual fantasies. He asked me if I had fantasies and I told him mine…I told him my fantasies was to make love in the sandy beach.

My husband said there is no reason why married and committed couple cannot live their fantasies. He argued that we are both adults and we love each other. This continued until I finally agreed. I told him on one condition, no women will be involved and he said yes. Hubby was so happy. He told me that he would set it up. I did not understand but he booked a luxury hotel for us and arranged for a young man to join us.

Without trying to recall how everything happened that day, I must say, it felt very weird but at the same time, very exciting. The excitement was more for my husband. He seemed so happy….and because of this…he was actually able to make love to me after the guy finished with me. I found that my husband’s fantasy was the key to rebuilding our s3xual life. I wanted my husband back and so I was ready to do whatever it takes.

So from last November last year, it became a regular thing for us. My husband was always the one arranging the guys for me. And after that, he would be so turned on that he would want me again. On valentine’s day, hubby took things to another level, instead of a guy, he invited a girl to come join us. I was surprised because we agreed from the first time, that no women will be involved but he said he would not touch her, but he would watch me and the girl play with each other. He begged me that he was so excited to watch me with a woman. This was the part I was not prepared for.

As the girl and I played….hubby got involved even though he said he would not…and before I knew it…the girl was f#cking my husband. I became angry and slapped the girl. I got so upset that I asked the girl to leave. My husband and I had a very big argument. He was arguing that if he can watch another man with me, he see no reason why I cannot watch him with another woman. Well, that was not the deal from the beginning. I told him I would not do this anymore. He said I was being selfish and said if I don’t continue with these our s3x games, he will no longer be interested in our marriage.

What??? I thought I never heard him correct but he repeated it. He said, he is a man and he has given me everything I want, that I am being selfish and controlling. He mentioned that he never wanted to hurt me but that he cannot pretend about who he is around me for the rest of his life. That its best we go our separate ways since we cannot be s3xually compatible anymore. I could not tell anyone about this because that would mean I will expose that I have been with other men while my husband partook in a threesome too. That information would be too damaging for anyone to find out.

I could not even pray because I felt very far from God since I have been sleeping with other people inside my marriage. I am confused and have no idea how to solve this problem. I love my husband. I don’t mind him having side chicks, I have accepted my fate…what man does not cheat with side chicks? But my challenge is…I cannot watch him with other women…its too humiliating. It makes me feel like I have failed as a woman…like I am not good enough for my man….like the other lady has more power and control over my man than I do.

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My husband and I have not been intimate since February. He is still insisting on me compromising. He has apologized for asking for a divorce but he says he won’t change his mind about a threesome with another woman. He says it is because he loves me that he has not married another wife but that I should accept our s3xual games with other people just to keep things spicy. What do I say to this? How do I accept this? How do I control my feelings when another woman is with my husband s3xually?

This my story may not be conventional with most couples but I am fighting to save my marriage….why should I leave my marriage for other women? what else can I do?

 

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

5 COMMENTS

  1. Let me laugh small, your husband likes to dey watch blue film.
    He must be possessed by a demon, believe you me
    My dear what I would advice you to do is get closer to God ok and be patient with him since he has apologised but don’t fall for all his wrong fantasies what is wrong is wrong my dear.

    Go for prayers take him along and never loose sight of God .

  2. Dear poster what I can advice you to do is for you prioritize your own comfort, boundaries, and well-being in the relationship.

    If your husband is pressuring you to engage in a sexual fantasy that you’re not comfortable with and is threatening to leave the marriage if you don’t comply, that is not healthy behavior.

    Firstly ask God for mercy and be with God so he too can be on your side. What sustains so many marriages before and now is beyond human capability and capacity most times it’s God because no one is perfect

    When your marriage is with God everything is right and you will enjoy it. Likewise bring him closer to God through prayers and love for a better and healthy relationship.

    Also Communication is key in any relationship, so I will suggest you consider having an open and honest conversation with your husband about your concerns and boundaries.

    Let him know how his desires and plans makes you feel and express your willingness to find compromises that are mutually satisfying for both of you.

    If he continues to insist on something that you’re not comfortable with and is unwilling to respect your boundaries, it may be necessary to seek external support to navigate this issue together.

    Remember, your well-being and happiness should always come first in any relationship best wishes.

  3. Hello this is not your fault ma scary as it is……..stop trying to impress your husband at the expense of your peace.
    It best you leave the marriage i hope u have sustainable income for yourself and kids….
    You have allowed him to turn you into a prostitute…….. …
    THIS LIFE IS SCARY

  4. This is a very terrible situation indeed. I find it quite difficult to believe, but I know it’s possible.

    Your welfare and peace should be paramount to you.
    Your husband is exposing you to both physical and spiritual danger.
    From what you said, I know you believe in God and your conscience is still alive. That is why you have lost your peace, because God is against all your husband wants you to do!

    Stand your ground and say no to the devil that has possessed your husband. Your husband needs divine intervention asap, because this path he’s treading can lead to his early demise.

    You need to ask for God’s forgiveness for your own involvement. Tell God to cleanse you from every spiritual pollution that has come into your life through this evil.
    Seek for help from a trusted spiritual believer.
    They will pray for your husband and I believe God will deliver him.

  5. Dear Poster,

    I believe your marriage was instituted on faith in God. I want to believe that your willingness to save your marriage is a natural feeling but shouldn’t be an exposure to devilish options and practices.

    What shall it profit you to try to save your marriage which you aren’t sure of it’s future outcome by sinning against God and your body and loose your soul and even the man.

    Who told you your husband isn’t doing this already outside but felt like bringing it home?

    What husband will introduce different strange men to have sex with his wife in the name of sexual fantasies?

    What kind of marriage will prosper and last when the partners involve themselves with strangers and mix spirits in the name of spicing their sexual life?

    Your husband used emotional and reverse tactics on you.

    He started with men so you will be a victim and have no excuse when he introduces women because his real fantasy is women.

    I will advice you maintain your ground and say no to such fantasies.

    Ask God for forgiveness and ask him to save your husband and your marriage.

    Do not let anyone deceive you. Judgement is on individuals. You can’t save what you commit to God with devil’s tool.

    Run away from your husband’s deceit, dirty fantasies and lifestyle.

    Don’t be afraid of anything even the error you made. He did that on purpose.

    Pray. Be firm of not continuing with the acts. Think of your life and children. Don’t expose yourself to danger.

    The love more important is God’s love. Embrace it and be happy.

    God help you.

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