True Life Story: I Lied To My Ghanian Girlfriend Because I Just Wanted A Casual Fling
Hi Lively Stones,
I need your advice on something. I Lied To My Ghanian Girlfriend Because I Just Wanted A Casual Fling. I travelled to Ghana in Last year and met someone on the flight. A very beautiful dark skinned lady. She was returning home from a business trip in Nigeria. We clicked fast, she is outgoing, smart and very friendly. I had a really great flight cos of her. I had to ask her for her number and we ended up seeing each other during my trip to Ghana.
It was love at first sight...we talked and talked….even after I returned to Nigeria, we talked everyday…I was in love with her…this has never happened to me cos I am a hard guy…I can tell a girl I love her but truly, it may just be I like you and I want to knack you…but this girl, Grace…she is someone I lost myself about…I could not think or do anything…I was always thinking about her. Funny thing is…I did not even knack her when I was in Ghana.
Grace is born again and its very obvious. She even inspires me to be a better Christian. I have changed because of her. When I told her I was in love with her…she said she likes me but she feels our lifestyle may not be compatible….I told her about my lifestyle which is making her feel I am not serious but this time, I want to show her I can be serious. She also said she can’t be in a casual relationship, she wants a relationship that will lead to marriage and I want that also.
We have been going strong for eight months now…I want to take things to the next level…I want her to be my wife…I am tired of waiting for marriage to kiss her properly…she only allows me to peck her on the cheek…its not about s3x….she is worth the wait…honestly….I can’t wait to surprise her with a proposal but I have two problems. When we first met, when I asked her about her age, she told me she was 33 years old. I lied to her that I was 34 but indeed I am 28 years old. That is six years age difference.
That time I lied…I just wanted to have my way with her…but now…I want her as my life partner…I know she has said she cant marry someone she is older than….I am afraid of telling her my real age…but I know she wont take kindly that I also have lied about my age. Secondly, she is like an pastoral assistant in her church, I do not know whether her ambition is to be a pastor one day. I have asked her if she is going to be a pastor in future, she says she does not know for now but whatever God says about her future is what she will do.
Now, while trying to change for her….I am not sure if I can live up to her expectations if she ever becomes a pastor. I have told her about this and she says we should leave everything in God’s hands, that she is not even thinking of that now. She is a very successful business woman but once she is not doing business, its in church you will find her. Please I need tips on how to talk to her about the age difference….and how do I make sure she does not leave me for this lie?
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Like I said…she is a very honest person….a very good believer……..she does not condone lies or cheating…and how do I handle my fear of her becoming a pastor in future…she has said she is not thinking of that but I see her dedication to her church, its people like that, they end up being pastors or deacons. I just wanted a casual relationship but its like I am locked in…Will I be the right husband for such a person? Like I said, I am changing but I still have my own sh#t to handle. I am not perfect.
I need help….please advise me.
Anonymous
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What I see here is incompatibility, both spiritual and physical. And this is causing you fear and insecurity.
There’s supposed to be no fear in love, isn’t it?
I’ll advise you tell her the truth about everything concerning you and untell the lie you said about your age. Keep an open mind and accept whatever comes out of it.
If she’s meant for you, everything will fall in place.
I agree with sis Grace… Tell her the whole truth. You don’t need to be afraid of you truly Love her.
There’s nothing to be worried about. What truly matters is to be in God’s perfect will.
Shalom!
Tell her the truth ,if she wants to stay it’s fine. It’s better now than later. Like someone had said in earlier that this is an issue with compatibility.
Dear poster
There come some point in our time where we do lie to someone and then regret it later on. So, don’t let your lie turn in to a regret.
Just go and confess it in front of her and i’m sure she will definitely understand and forgive you.
Think twice, before you lie to someone.
Sometimes just to escape the situation or the thought of loosing that person force us to lie. There can be ’n’ number of reason behind it.
“One side you are lying to the person and on the other side you are intentionally or unintentionally doubting on their trust towards you”.
At one point of time she might forgive you but don’t take her forgiveness for granted. One, twice, thrice it’s okay but repeating the same mistake again and again will eventually break her trust on you and you might even loose her.
“It takes a lifetime to gain someone’s trust on you but it only takes a fraction of second to break that trust”.
Secondly It’s natural to feel concerned about changes in a relationship especially in the future,
remember that her dedication to church activities can be a positive trait. It’s healthy for individuals to have their own interests, goals, and self-sufficiency.
Rather than trying to prevent your girlfriend from becoming dedicated and devoted to God, consider embracing and supporting her growth.
Likewise a open and honest communication about your feelings and fears can help strengthen your relationship.
Express your concerns in a respectful and non-confrontational manner, and be open to understanding her perspective as well.
Building trust and mutual support can help both of you become better in your relationship best wishes .
Dear poster, kindly tell her the true state of your life to her. B honest and sincere