True Life Story: No Longer In Love With My Husband Now I Want A Younger Lover
Good evening Ma’am Jzhane,
Please keep me anonymous, I am a young woman that has made alot of mistakes and I need advise on how to correct my mistakes without making more mistakes. My name is Irene (not real name). I was raised by strict parents, I did very well in school and everything else my parents wanted me to do. Their discipline ensured I got admission into university at age 16.
Then when I was 19 and in my final year, I got a new room mate, Ejiro (Not real name). Ejiro was a vibe. Very social and an extrovert. She was the one who opened my eyes to some really strange things. She used to date older guys and they were sponsoring her fabulous lifestyle. She was hardly around in school….then one day, two men came to see her but she was not in. She called me to allow them wait for her in the room.
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One of the guys took interest in me…eventually when Ejiro came, I found out one of the guys was her sugar daddy. They asked me to join them for an outing, I refused. They teased me so much…Ejiro kept mocking and saying, don’t mind my room mate, shes a virgin and a bookie. That seemed to draw the second guy’s attention. He could not believe that there were ladies who were still virgins. They managed to drag me out to an outing and that was the first time, I was at a five star hotel.
This second guy that was interested in me is Alex. As it got late, they wanted us to stay the night but I refused. Alex persuaded me to stay and promised not to touch me. I agreed. At night, he tried to kiss me but I refused and I went to stay on the chair until he promised to never touch me again. After that day, Alex said he was going to marry me. He was impressed I was a girl with high standards. Alex was 41 at the time. A divorcee with tow teen children.
From then, Alex took a serious liking to me, telling everyone I was his wife…he took over my bills in school, paid for a driver to take me around…he made sure I lacked nothing. I was worried about the age difference but Alex always told me it was not an issue. As soon as I graduated, Alex came to propose and went to see my parents. My dad was not in support because of the age difference but my mom was ok with it…she said her mother married at the age of 18 years.
Immediately after my final exams, we got married in a very lavish wedding. I was on cloud nine. Every of my mate was envious of me…I mean, I graduated with second class upper and immediately found a man to marry me. My elder sister that was a graduate already didn’t even have a boyfriend. Alex was so happy…he could not wait for wedding night…cos he had not had S** with me all this while….
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And then, wedding night was a disaster….I was in so much pain from the S**…and there was blood….but Alex was so excited….he told everyone he was the first to break me…for almost a week I was in pain. The S** I had waited for all my life was not worth it…it was too painful and I felt rped every time…not loved or enjoyable. Alex knows nothing about foreplay or make out….if he wanted, he would come and fck me ….release and that is it.
I realized his mind set was different from mine…he is not the romantic man I hoped to marry…his romantic side was just to give money….nothing emotional. That was how life was until I got pregnant. S** during pregnancy was worse. It felt so painful and tedious. I almost began to detest my husband touching me. I began to feel dry in my vagina. He noticed it and was not enjoying how dry my vagina was.
Anytime he tried to touch me, I removed his hands, and sometimes, he forced me….and he found it very dry and he would get upset and said what kind of rubbish virgin did he marry…that he feels like he is making love to a grandma….sometimes he used vaseline but it was not too ok….he still struggled to penetrate cos I my body was rejecting him. One day, he brought someone and said she is our maid. I never asked for a maid.
Few days later, I woke up and caught my husband f*cking the maid. I cried and cried…he did not even say anything to me. I reported him to my dad and when my dad called him…he said I have been denying him S**. Our families settled us…they begged him to be patient with me that some pregnant women don’t like S**. He sent the maid away but I know he was going outside to meet her and other girls foe S** cos when he comes back, I see condom in his car and pockets.
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I also found out my husband was f*cking Ejiro my former room mate….that one I suspected since we were school but now, I had evidence, I saw text messages of even threesomes they had. Alex was just going around disgracing me with his community penis. I did not bother cos I was even afraid of getting STD as I was pregnant.
When I had my baby….things became worse. By this time, I think I was no longer in love with Alex. We were barely speaking to each other only about the baby. After six weeks of having the baby, he tried to make love to me and I rejected him again. This time, he beat me up. He said he is done and I should leave his house with my baby to my parents. I packed and left. When I got home, my mom was so angry with me for trying to bring shame to the family.
My dad called me and advised me to go back to my husband’s house and endure cos divorce is a sin. My dad begged me to endure the S** even though I don’t like it…that with time, I will come to like it. I went back to Alex with my dad…because my dad begged, Alex allowed me back. From that day, anytime Alex wanted S**….I give in…whether I like it or not….I even pretend to moan and like it. As soon as he is done…I quickly wash off every trace of him in me.
I don’t want to say hate but I seriously dislike the man I call my husband. There is no love or affection between us. I realized I made a big mistake marrying someone more than twice my age…one who does not understand me or tries to…one who never bothers about how I feel….and then, I discovered how to masturbate. With that, even though there was no love in the marriage but there was peace. After I had my baby, I had gained some weight and I would be watching Youtube exercise videos to try to loose weight.
Exercising by myself was hard so I decided to register at the gym. It was at the gym I met Alvin. A very handsome banker. He was very nice and cool guy. He thought I was single cos I was so young. We became friends ….and I realized I was beginning to have feelings for him. I looked forward to meeting him at the gym. One day after workout, he invited me to the movies….I agreed and went with him…at the movies, we sat at the back ….and we kept making out all through the movie.
The next time, he invited me to his house, a very beautiful apartment…Alvin was god sent cos he was the man that opened up my body to S** and real love and I experienced love that I never got from hubby…I experienced real orgasm. This same me that has never experienced wetness in my almost two years of marriage….I was always wet now, just thinking about Alvin. The S** is wild with Alvin…and I enjoy it all….oral, all kinds….I eventually had to tell him I was married. Alvin was shocked cos I never told him all this while. But I told him the circumstance leading to my marriage and how I was very unhappy in the marriage.
Alvin said he cannot date a married woman and broke up with me. I was devastated but I quickly moved on to the next guy in the gym that hit on me….now, I am having S** with several guys and I just realize that I love S** and love it so much now….but not with my husband….I still dislike S** with my husband. The very smell from my husband makes me want to vomit. Right now, I am seeing two guys at the same time…that is how much I love S** now….I am enjoying the S** I missed having with my husband….my conscience pricks me everyday but I balance it knowing my husband is not faithful either. He too is f*cking other girls.
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Its my birthday next month…I will be 23 years old. I am too young to be sad…I have decided to leave my husband cos I realize as long as I am with him….I will never be happy. There is no physical attraction towards him. Instead of going outside to f*ck…let me be single and now enjoy myself until I find the right man for me. The problem I have is, my parents will be so disappointed and may never speak to me again…especially my dad cos my dad loves me so much and he vehemently dislikes divorce. I have been enduring this marriage since day one just because of my dad….I made him a promise.
In fact, when I insisted on marrying Alex at age 19+…my dad made me swear that I will not divorce…cos he warned me that Alex was too old for me. So divorce now will make my dad really upset….but what else can I do? My dad keeps saying patience…that as marriage gets older…couples tend to change and love each other more…is that true? Will I love Alex later? Until that time, how do I stop desiring S** from other men? How do I stop this strong feeling of h*te for my husband?
Every time I remember my wedding night (how Alex took my virginity like he was rping me)…I am filled with such rage and anger and bitterness….when I remember how I caught him fcking our maid….I feel like all my husband ever did was assault my body and abuse me emotionally…..and he will never understand it because he is old school…he thinks I am just being childish…my body needs a younger lover…will I ever be able to love Alex?
Please advise me.
Anonymous
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You both need therapy and counseling. If you really want to divorce,then your father cannot stop you.
6 Things to Consider Before Dating a Younger Man
1. They Often Have Different Priorities
When you’re dating a younger man, you may notice that his priorities differ from those of someone older. For instance, a younger man might be working to make a name for himself in his career and therefore spend a lot of time at the office or still be in grad school. On the flip side, an older man may be more established and have the luxury of not spending every moment tied to his desk.
2. Younger Men Can Have Less of a Past
You’ll probably notice that he has less emotional baggage than an older man would. For example, while an older man could be divorced, have children, or boast a long relationship history, a younger man likely won’t have those same kinds of personal situations. He might have had relationships before, but his sheer youth prevents him from compiling a long list of difficulties, worries, and exes.
3. You May Have a Different Dynamic
Women tend to appreciate the fact that they’re the ones with more life experience in the relationship. Many women feel empowered dating a younger man and being the more worldly one. After all, being a woman in your 40s dating a younger man can be seen as a power play.
4. Younger Men Are Generally More Up for Adventure
If you’re looking for a bit more adventure and for someone who has the potential to rock your world in new ways, then dating a younger man is for you. Not only is a younger guy more likely to be in the know about the latest and hot happenings in your area, but the activities you engage in together as a couple will likely skew younger and more adventurous than what you’re used to.
5. You May Get Pushback from Friends and Family
You might receive unfavorable responses from your friends and family. Though you and your younger guy may be totally into each other, others might not be as supportive and open-minded. If you know going in that this negative reaction is a potential reality, then you’ll be better able to handle it and brush it off when it happens.
6. Your Views on Commitment May Differ
If you’re looking for a long-lasting, serious relationship, you could find it more challenging to establish that with a younger guy. While an older man may want to have children and settle down, a younger man might want to keep sowing his wild oats, have an open relationship, and not be into the idea of commitment.
If you want to date a younger guy, it’s essential to be upfront with him right away and talk about what you want in a relationship. If you’re looking for something light and fun then having a younger man by your side may be the right decision for you. However, if you’re looking for a committed relationship, you might want to consider someone a bit older who is in the same place.
Candid advice
You need to stop seeing other men please, respect the institution called marriage and also your innocent baby.
If you’re no longer interested in Alex, kindly divorce him and take care of yourself and your baby till you find a younger guy/ husband that can always take you to cloud 9.
Stop adultery and be wise.
You have been committing adultery with several men, don’t make excuses for it. You know what you are doing. Adultery is a planned intentional wicked act, it can never be a mistake.
You will even said, you are too young to be sad, you are an irresponsible woman. I won’t sugarcoat the truth sister, I will tell you as it is.
I wish you well.
✌
I must tell you, you are the biggest fool
I have seen in my entire life. Gosh your parents did a bad job raising you