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True Life Story: Once A Stripper Always A Stripper But Will Our Love Conquer All?


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True Life Story: Once A Stripper Always A Stripper But Will Our Love Conquer All?

Hello Lively Stones,

Please bear with me, its a bit of a long story but a few years ago, my friend got this contract and moved down to Uyo for the the job. Since that time, he had been inviting me to come over to Uyo for a visit but I never had time. Me and Timi have been friends from our youth service days. We have been rolling ever since. So when my annual leave came up , I decided to travel to Uyo to spend my leave with Timi. I must say Uyo, the state capital is a nice quiet place, my friend decided to treat me to a weekend stay at the famous luxury hotel at the capital.

My boy is living the life, doing big things and I am happy for him. At the hotel club, Timi organized an entertaining evening for me…nice food, drinks and ladies. Eventually,  I hooked up with one of the ladies …when we got to the hotel, she was about doing her thing when she told me she is sorry that she is not feeling fine, that I should be gentle with her. I was like, what is wrong with you…(me, I don’t want any STD o)…she said she had malaria, that she was treating. She showed me the drugs…so I asked her why she was working knowing she was ill. This girl, Obong, as she called said she is trying to work to pay a debt and so she cannot rest.

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Whether or not she was lying, all I know is, I was not going to f*ck a sick olosho…so I told her to leave but she begged that she will not be paid if she did not do any action that night. I asked her how much is her fee, she said 10k..so I gave her 10k and asked her to leave. Obong thanked me and left. When Timi and his associates were bragging the next day, about the girls they had fun with, I lied that mine was superb….

You can imagine my surprise the next day when Obong showed up at my hotel room door…I was wondering what she came to do…she pushed me back into the room and said she has come to complete her job…I was trying to tell her never mind but she said she must…so I allowed her ….and she blew my mind. After all said and done,…she said thank you to me…I was like..I should be the one telling you thank you. She said she was thanking me for not insisting on sleeping with her when she was sick two nights before. I told her I would never force a woman to sleep with me.

Then she became chatty…we talked and slept again and again…Obong is phenomenal. I also got to know that she was working as an escort to pay her rent and send her younger brother to school. She too is in part time schooling. Somehow, things got deep…I started advising her to switch jobs and stop doing S**ual escort….she was like, there is no job that can pay her the amount she is earning….I then told her I would look for a job for her.

Throughout my stay in Uyo, Obong and I hung out alot…we got close and I was really feeling this babe. So before I left, I was talking to Timi, that I really like Obong, and that we should try and help this young lady off the streets. Timi started laughing…he was like help who? That Obong is rich, doing what she does, that the babe services big shots, politicians, etc. I was like what…Timi said he has had threesomes with her before. At this point, I decided to end the matter.

So I ended my leave and came back. Unfortunately, I forgot I gave Obong my no…so she has been calling me….I had to block her no. Timi called me few days later, that Obong came to his office to see him…to ask for my no, that she has been trying to reach me. Timi lied to her that I lost my phone. Obong has been begging Timi to help her reach me because she said that ever since she met me…I changed her life and she wants to start changing her lifestyle…Timi told me that Obong that I am not interested in her cos I found out she was into olosho business big time.

According to Timi, Obong broke down and cried…after which she left. I felt bad cos I know she wanted to try and change her life after meeting me but the girl has gone too deep into this business…so I have to let go. Months went by and one fateful day, at the mall, I walked past a few ladies and next thing I heard was someone calling my name, I turned back and it was Obong. I was shocked…I wanted to greet her but she just withdrew from me as I tried to say hello. So I said…hi and left.

I felt a pang of guilt somehow…the look on her face was like…that of someone looking at someone who betrayed her. I could not brush that look aside….later that evening, I unblocked Obong and called her….the phone rang several times but she did not pick up. I eventually had to text her and say sorry for everything. That was when she called me. As soon as I picked….I said hello Obong…next thing …she started to cry….I just kept saying I am sorry.

We were finally able to talk and she said she was ready to give up everything, her lifestyle when she met me. She said, she had always prayed to God, to send her a man that will love her and not judge her for her mistakes. That the night we met, she thought she had met the man of her dreams cos no one had ever showed her kindness since she started being an escort. So, I apologized to her and asked her if we can be friends…she said ok.

We have been friends for some months now….almost everyday, we talk….I feel a deep connection with Obong but I have a fiancé so I cannot encourage any romantic relationship with Obong. With my help and mentoring, Obong has left olosho business. She relocated to Cross River…she is trying to start a new life….and has decided to travel abroad…I helped her with her visa after she had gotten admission to study nursing in UK (not real location) . Obong is a story of a girl who completely changed her life after meeting me.

On the night Obong was to travel, she called me and told me how she aborted a pregnancy that was mine. Yes, after our stint in Uyo…she got pregnant…she was sure cos we had S** back to back for almost a week without protection. I felt so guilty for abandoning her but she said it was ok. We remained friends. She has been updating me of her life in UK…and then she told me she met someone….and that things are going steady….that was when I realized…I am crazy over this Obong. Even though I told her I am happy for her….I am very jealous and I don’t want her with anyone else except me.

For months, I have been fighting this feeling….the more I denied it, the more I found myself thinking about it. I had to tell Obong how I was feeling. When I did…she said she feels the same way but she does not think we can ever be together cos of what I know of her past….and that she feels she cannot handle another betrayal from me. I don’t even know what I am doing. I am engaged but I am in love with someone else. And that someone else is Obong.

The thought of breaking my fiancé’s heart feels very  cruel but I had to do it….she even noticed I was getting distant from her so she decided to leave. Everyone of our friends are blaming me….Timi feels Obong has jazzed me….everyone is against my plan to go after Obong…because of her past….but I stuck out my neck for her. I believed genuinely that Obong was a different person. So I ignored everyone and professed my love for Obong. She was happy and I was very happy.

Then I told her I was coming to UK. To visit her. She was excited. I was actually coming to propose to her. She have me her address…but I decided to surprise her…I came a day earlier…..when I got to her apartment, she was stunned to see me…..I expected her to jump on me or even embrace me but she looked like she saw a ghost…long story short….Obong had her boyfriend around…she had not broken up with him even though I had broken up with my fiancé for her.

It was a very messy situation cos the guy embarrassed me….I left so ashamed of myself. Obong kept telling me that she was going to tell the guy but she could not find time to do it. Well, I had to stay with a friend that night. I was so hurt but Obong came to kneel and beg….said she finally broke up with the dude….I believed her even though I was hurt. Went back to her apartment and spent the next few days with her.

I then proposed to her….I was so happy…she was so happy as well….we made video calls to her family, every one was happy…my family had no choice but to accept my decision. We told everyone the wedding would be in Nigeria in December. I stayed a few more days after the proposal. Obong would dress up and go to school and come back at night….she also had a part time job as a care giver so I thought she was working until I received an envelope on her behalf one day.

I saw it was from her college of nursing…it was marked urgent…..so I opened it….and the letter stated that if she does not report to class, her admission will be withdrawn. I was shocked that the school was writing that Obong was not in class. I was so angry and ready to confront her but I decided not to. I decided to follow her the next day to see where she claimed she was going to class. I kid you not, the next day, I followed Obong and saw that she was going to a strip club.

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Obong was working in UK as a stripper. I left after watching her for a couple of hours. When she returned, my bags were packed and I demanded she explain why she lied about school when she was stripping in a club. Obong said…school is hard for her…she realized she cannot study she is not that intelligent…so she decided to stick to what she knows how to do best: doing club business. She insisted she is not a prostitute but a dancer, that she makes so much money dancing than nursing will ever pay her.

To say I am disappointed is an understatement. I tried to convince Obong that clubbing or stripping is not the way to go but she told me to leave if I was ashamed of her. After all, this is not the first time I had been ashamed of her and abandoned her. This girl has opened her eyes….UK has made her realize that being a registered prostitute is nothing to be ashamed of. We had a big quarrel about this until she said she was sorry, she started to cry….saying she is trying really hard but its not easy cos she is not really a school smart person cos she spent so many years in the streets.

Obong then said yhat she will return back to class if I agree to help her. She admitted that she is struggling with old habits where it was easier to make money with her former lifestyle than actually doing other things. I am  returning  back to Nigeria….very heartbroken. Obong feels that if I am around her, she will be able to change and focus on a better future. She wants me to relocate permanently to UK to help her. I know she said she needs my help but really, it seems a leopard cannot change its stripes.

After all I did…after all I gave up for Obong…she decided the way she wants to live her life…I don’t know what else to do….do not even know how to face everyone that I disagreed with on her behalf. Yes, she said she will go back to class but I don’t trust her as much as I should….but I cannot believe this is over…I am still madly in love with her. Sometimes, I feel its the ashawo vibes of Obong that is making me loose my mind around her but over all, I am sure this woman is tied to my destiny somehow.

Do you think I should relocate to help her? Will it work? I have a great life here…good job and all…I could actually relocate for Obong but my fear is, I hope she will not eventually throw all my sacrifices away….will she be able to leave her former life and truly focus on a more decent life…..am I really that man that will help her change her life for the better or is she just using me as an excuse? Obong’s mother believes I am the only one that can help her daughter.

Obong has lied so much to me. Now, I am always questioning her movements. She lied about her boyfriend and lied about going to school ….what else has she lied to me about? It’s hard cos I have feelings for her….I know she lived a hard life and its not easy to give up the past…she says she can give up if I stand by her…What do you think? I have invested so much in this relationship….I feel I can’t quit…but I also fear for the future. What should I do? Relocate to help her or is she just saying this to please me? Will Obong ever change her lifestyle?


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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. I don’t think relocation will help. You might regret it, if you relocate and finding job there becomes difficult, you will find yourself in situation you hate and your worst fear confirmed.
    I strongly think one should make the decision to change or change for oneself, and considering you were in constant communication with Obong and she still chose adult industry work, I doubt your being near will have much influence on her. It will be a relationship full of lies, secrets and insecurity.

  2. Trust in love matters but betrayal from that failed trust can devastate you for life. It is a daisy situation but sacrifice in love is worthwhile compared to risky business decision you had to make. You have sacrifice alot already but my instinct tells me you can’t help to change her as we weren’t wired to do so. It is only God that has the power to change someone. Relocating to meet with her will kill you fast as you went abandon your daily hustle to be following her about. Come back to Nigeria and takes off your mind from her for a while. The wedding plans should be suspended until her lifestyle is corrected . She has to allow God to work on her. Remain blessed.

  3. I normally don’t pity men like you, you act so foolish for women, I just can’t stand men like you. I just knew from the start, you are a simp, a finished man.

    How dumb can some of you men be for women? A h*e is who you are trying to wife, you even traveled all the way to UK to see a h*e, you even stayed in her house, u dey craze bro, real craze.

    She even told you to relocate to UK, mheen, you be mumu oo, big one. It’s why I don’t pity men like you, you see a h*e, yet you think you can change such women. Why must you be “captain save a hoe”?

    She belongs to the streets. You definitely don’t know female nature, if you knew you would never even thought of dating her to the point of travelling to UK, bro, once again, you are a finished man.

    You still claim, you are madly in love with her, ok, Mr lover, please, relocate to UK and marry her.

    Men like you will surely learn the painful way. You will find what you are looking for. Why will you even be fornicating?

    I wish you well.


    • Stop been too harsh with words we are supposed to advise not name calling every of your comment is always like this it’s not nice people are going through a lot saying your advice nicely is the way to go not raining insults change pls

  4. I will be very blunt with you. Who Obong needs is Jesus, not you. She needs to give her life to Christ and go for serious deliverance to be rid of the demonic infestation that has entered her life as a result of prostitution. Only GOD can help
    and deliver her.
    Your being with her will have very minimal effect. She’s being driven by forces greater than her, that is why she cannot help herself. She needs divine help.
    If you think you can help or change her, well, try and see how you will regret it. I have seen such cases and it was only divine intervention that set them free.

  5. It is the ashawo vibes she uses on bed with you that is making you not to see the handwriting on the wall. Look at the handwriting,so boldly written.

    You need a wife material and not Obong,do not relocate to UK because of her. Try as much as possible to take your mind off her.

    Work on yourself ,just be friends with her and no string attached…

    Leave Obong alone dear poster,no road for there.

  6. Firstly, once you get there, you don’t have any influence over her. The world there gives her that much freedom. Don’t loose what you have here for someone who is not trustworthy. You can visit occasionally but don’t abandon your life here. If she truly wants to change, you don’t need to be there. She already knows the love you have for her and the sacrifices you have made. If she has any love for you, it’s time for her to show it by behaving better. You deserve that much


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