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True Life Story: Our Wedding Is So Close But My Fiancé Is In A Big Mess

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True Life Story: Our Wedding Is So Close But My Fiancé Is In A Big Mess

Hi Lively Stones,

I am faced with a very hard decision to make. I am worried about my relationship and my fiancé. I got engaged to my best friend and love of my life 2 months ago, this was my dream because me and Philip (not real name) have been best friends for almost 5 years. We met in coding class 5 years ago and became inseparable. We started dating and it was the most fun relationship I had ever being.

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However, we broke up 4 years later. Why did we break up? Phil was a bad influence on my life. Even though he was a great guy, great lover and very much adored me. However, Phil was a smoker and he introduced me to smoking. He was also a freaky guy. I liked that about him though. He liked to f*ck spontaneously and explore new things. So, we did all kinds of freaky things.

From BDSM to f*cking in office toilet (he and I  would go to the each other’s office to have quickies sometimes at work) and then have threesomes with strangers in a hotel. It was more of him watching me f*ck other men,he used to enjoy it so much. I allowed him f*ck a few girls too. This was our life but my family were not very happy with the fact that we were dating and acting irresponsible without any future plans. When I asked Phil what about marriage, he was like, he would get married when he becomes a Millionaire.

To Phil, he wanted to live the good life and did not want to marry without accomplishing a certain level of financial independence at the time. I understood that but I did not agree that you have to be a millionaire to be financially independent. I was working and making my own money. I wanted him to change that mindset cos I felt it was not certain when he would make it and I was getting to 29 years and wanted to settle down.

ALSO READ: My Fiancé’s Family Told Him I Am Not God’s Will For Him-Pls Advice

Phil did not take me serious. I told him I wanted to be engaged by Valentine of 2021. Valentine came and he made a lovely valentine surprise. I thought I was going to get married on that val’s day but we had dinner in a fancy restaurant. When we were leaving, I broke up with him in the car cos it was clear no engagement was happening that day.

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I was so disappointed that I went home and cried. Everyone was calling me to find out if he proposed but I could not face them. More obviously, Phil did not even call me after we broke up. I was curious so I went to his place every early around 6am. I went there with the intention to talk but soon as he opened the door, he was not expecting to see me, he was shocked. He tried to shut the door but I pushed it open and went inside.

On getting in, he had a girl over and it was clear they spent the night together. So, I asked him why he would go f*ck another girl on the day we broke up while I was crying. He said he was drowning in the heartbreak and he called a hooker to come over. I noticed the girl was someone we had a threesome with and I told him that he broke the deal, that we would never f*ck anyone we had a threesome with. He said he was sorry but he wanted to remember the good times we had, that is why he called her.

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That was the last time I saw Phil cos I finally broke up with him that day. From February to October 2021, I was single until I met someone. We dated causally until December when Phil started chatting with me again. Telling me how things have changed. That he is doing new businesses and money is steadily following in. He wanted us to get back together because he felt with money coming, he can be ready to settle down.

Being away from Phil, I had stopped smoking and I did not like the idea of threesomes anymore cos it broke my heart that Phil f*cked a girl we both had a threesome with the night we broke up. He promised not to do that anymore, he also said he would quit smoking if I can be patient with him. So, I told Phil to give me some time to think about this..

Between that time, Phil resumed his freaky ways with me. He would show up at my office and we would have a quick f*ck session. Like I said, I was dating someone casually so I did not know if the relationship would lead anywhere. We did that a couple of times, my boyfriend was no match with Phil. Phil is a legendary f*cker!. On Valentine’s day this year, Phil asked me to go out with him. He said he was ready to do the right thing. I was super excited and this time, he did not disappoint.

We got engaged in front of family and friends. I broke up with the other dude finally. I was happy. I got what I wanted. We are getting married. Our marriage introduction was done in April. We set our wedding date for July 23rd this year. Everything is going fine, we are planning our wedding in earnest. But I just discovered that Phil’s new found money making business which he said was from cryptocurrency is actually from Internet scams.

Phil spends a lot of time online supposedly trading in crypto but I find out that these were internet scams. I confronted Phil and he told me its no big deal. That Crypto is also like that. So, what he does is collect money from people, to help them invest and trade and they split the profits. But recently, he’s not being able to pay his investors. Phil’s buying cars, houses and spending money but he is telling his investors that that the crypto market is down.

Everyday, people are calling him and threatening him. Now, Phil is running away from home for fear of being caught by any of these people. He says he is staying with friends. I do not like this idea so I told him he must find a way to sort this people before our wedding cos I will not be looking over my shoulder on our wedding day. Phil agreed. I have been trying to be supportive but I am also fearful that his investors may soon catch up with him.

Then Phil’s birthday came up and I told him that I would like to celebrate with him. That was when he told me he got a short let apartment for his birthday and some of his close friends will be there too. I made some arrangements, finger foods and drinks and headed to his short let apartment. His friends came along. I also noticed a lady I had not met before. Phil said she’s a new business partner.  I greeted her and served her and the other guests food.

After a while, I noticed Phil was not around. I asked his friend and he said he had not seen him. I checked the master bedroom, he was not there. Its a three bedroom apartment so I checked on the other rooms. I didn’t see him but when I noticed the toilet of one of the rooms are locked. I was about to knock when I noticed sounds of f*cking coming from inside. I waited ….and I confirmed. I pretended to leave the room, by making a loud sound when closing the door but I did not leave.

ALSO READ: True Life Story: See What Is Happening To Us After My Fiancé’ Shocking Revelation

Like 15 mins later, the toilet door opened, Phil peeped and came out…but he didnt see me until the lady came out. He froze like he had seen a ghost. The lady too…she just said sorry and ran out of the room. Phil went on his knees and started begging. Saying he f*cked her against his will. That he has lost her investment and he’s f*cking her to pacify her. That he lost her investment of over 30 Million.

Phil broke down and said hes owing people over 400 Million and he does not know how to pay back. That the investment went wrong and he is trying to find ways to pay back. That this woman told him that she will forget the money if he f*cks her. That is why he agreed. He showed me their chats to prove that the woman initiated the idea. I saw the texts where he was begging her about the money he lost and she went on to say, If I should forget about this money, what will you do for me instead. Phil said anything you want and she said: ok…and gave him a hotel address where they have been meeting since then.

The text messages showed Phil is desperate. He is already selling his cars and lands to pay some of his debts. I felt bad and betrayed and haven’t stopped thinking about the mess Phil is. He is begging me not to leave him in his time of need. Crying and saying I was the one who motivated him to this business. That he did everything to get rich because he wanted to marry me as a millionaire, so he went into crypto without understanding the business properly. Now, he has lost so much and I want to leave him.

I love my man so much but he is so much in a big mess and he is f*cking other women just to save himself. How do I marry him with this kind of mess? And if I leave him, even though I love him so much, it will look like I abandoned him when he needed me most. So, I told him lets postpone the wedding. Phil said no. That he does not want people to start talking. That he will sort everything out, that I should just believe in him and have faith in him.

Phil even refused to tell our families the big mess he feels they will not understand and may think he is a yahoo boy…he keeps saying; babe have faith in me…I just do not know if having faith in him is being blind to the fact that he is in big trouble and f*cking other women, is hurting our relationship. I know every woman likes to f*ck Phil….he is every woman’s dream and they are taking advantage of his financial problems. Some even promise to give him money to settle his debts…if he f*cks them but this is breaking my heart.

Help me please…advice me. I love Phil and Phil loves me, he has given me everything I want to be happy, even promised to send me abroad once I get pregnant with our first child but this mess is driving me insane. Is this just a bad phase, will we survive it?

Anonymous

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Jzhane
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

7 COMMENTS

  1. Leave Philip alone this minute and focus on your life.
    You need to give your life a meaning,start thinking of better ways to give your life a meaning,make your life useful to yourself, to your family and generation.

    I see no love between both of you, you people are just wasting your time for nothing,tell whoever it may concern that you are no longer marrying Phillip,they need to know now,the earlier they know the better.

    God bless you my sister

  2. Dear poster is like you like wahala, what kind of attachment do you have with this so called fiance that is stopping you from thinking straight.. so you don’t know if you marry him you will also share in his debt, police harassment and other unforseen trouble? Please run for your life and don’t look back. In fact canceling the wedding is the least of your problems now

  3. My sister abeg borrow leg run leave Phil. You’re seeing red flags and boldly stepping into your soom if you continue with him.
    There are too many wrongs here from his wanting to be a millionaire and doing fraudulent business to him cheating on you and blaming you that you pushed him to do the business so that he can marry you. What I’d after sleeping with all these women he contacts STI and transfers it to you?
    What if he’s unable to pay the debts?
    490M is no small money, Phil is greedy ND a fraudster using other people’s money to buy properties and live large.
    That’s on him not you!
    Then he’s smoking habits and weird sex life. Can you cope? He smokes and does threesome….
    Forget the fact that he wants to send you abroad he’s got no money don’t let all those false promises deceive you. Hope it’s not the sex that’s clouding your judgement because all I can see here is fire and a narcissist blaming his inactions and bad behaviour on you.
    Do not marry him. Let EFCC or people he’s owing not arrest him on the wedding day then you’re stuck and embarrassed.
    Leave tht guy to sort out his life while you find a better guy worthy of you.

  4. Dear poster I understand it’s not easy for you but the truth is, even if Philip is able to sought out the bills, he will still continue cheating, it’s part of him already, it’s better to call it quit now than to have a broken marriage and make sure u never go back to him, God will see you through and I pray he’s able to settle his debts…peace dear..

  5. What kind of advice do you need?
    I see no love between you two.You are only enjoying the sex and maybe the flamboyant life style.

    Have you ever taken time to think about what the future holds for you two? To be sincere he doesn’t have future plans and ambitions.

    A man that sleeps with every woman simply because he’s good in bed☹️ using sex as exchange for his debts!

    Is that the kind of man you truly want to have kids with?
    Please,for the sake of your future children, kindly leave that guy and focus on yourself.

    To be honest with you,the two of you lack morals.

  6. I will personally advise you to go ahead and marry Philip. You are two of a kind. You both fit yourselves. You are both in everything together. Marry Philip, he is the best man for you and you are the woman for him. What threesome, smoking, quickies has joined together, let no adviser put asunder. Good luck.

  7. Think about life after your wedding, it’s gonna be a huge battle and regret. Trust me the pain you are feeling now will be bigger after getting married to him. That is when the mistake you have made will dawn on you. You still have time now to call off this Wedding and forget about this boy, the relationship you guys have is not healthy at all.

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